I am an introvert. When I was young, my mother said that before I was five years old, I had never taken a step alone. Every time I met a stranger, I kept hiding; After school, from primary school to middle school to college, I never liked the lively scene. I would rather sit quietly with a book in my hands; After work, I prefer to be alone on weekends and holidays in addition to necessary social activities at work. Even now, every weekend, I like to stay at home, reading, writing, learning, baking, taking photos... Immersed in my own world. I especially like the feeling of retreating from the crowd and being alone with myself. For introverts, immersion in their own world is a pleasure.
However, I also know very well that while I enjoy my own world alone, I am also troubled by my own personality (I believe most introverts will have such a worry). After all, modern society is in such a value system as "extroverted and ideal", and all people hope that they are talkative and cheerful when they get along with others. Introverts live under the influence of extroverted ideality, just as women live in a male dominated social value form, their own value is greatly reduced.
So, many times, I began to force myself to change and make myself more outgoing. In the years after graduation from University, I have been engaged in media work, which requires skilled communication skills and strong writing skills. My specialty is writing, but communication is my weakness. But work is work. You must overcome your weaknesses. I still remember the anxiety and entanglement before I made an appointment with someone (especially the interviewee) every time when I was at work. Facing the phone, I have recited my lines over and over, but I still dare not pick up the phone and dial the number. Now I think, the reason why I was so afraid was that I was afraid of being rejected.
I have to say that the experience of media work in recent years has really made me grow up a lot. When dealing with all kinds of people outside, I know how to deal with and deal with them. I even feel that my working experience in the media has made some corrections to my character, adding some "extrovert" factors to my character.
When necessary, I will become very extroverted, and even pretend to be an extrovert and very successful. During the job interview, almost every interviewer will ask "how do you evaluate your character?" "Are you an introvert or an extrovert?" And so on. I believe that no one will be proud to say that he is an introvert. On the contrary, most people will say that he is an extrovert, or that he is half introverted and half extroverted. As we all know, modern workplace work needs teamwork, initiative, communication and leadership. The characteristics of introverts almost run counter to these workplace elements. In the eyes of most people, introverts are silent, not very confident, and dare not be frank about their ideas.
However, even if you disguise yourself, you have to admit that the introverted gene in your bones cannot be changed. I can cheat others, but I can't cheat my true self.
Since he was born to be an introvert, is it also doomed that he cannot have an absolute advantage in the workplace, and is it also doomed that the road of life is mediocre? No, No. I have read some biographies of literati, and I have also learned the stories of successful people in other fields. I am deeply surprised that many successful people are fundamentally introverts. Van Gogh, Maugham, Proust, George Orwell, Mother Teresa, Buddha, chendanyan, Li Na, Zhang Yining... The loneliness brought by introversion makes them know how to communicate with their own thoughts in the depths of their souls and find treasures in that quiet world.
If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, generally speaking, we tend to worship the 1% part. We love its brilliance and its sparkle like a star, but the really great power exists in the 99%. What kind of magic does loneliness have? In many fields, only when you are a person can you really devote yourself to the 99% deliberate practice, which is the key to achieving outstanding achievements.
I have come to realize that introverts and extroverts have no advantages or disadvantages. Each character is accompanied by luck and pain. You should recognize your own character, and then give full play to the advantages of this character.
Susan Kane from the United States is a real introvert. She wrote a Book Quiet: the competitiveness of introverts. In this book, she tells us what advantages introverts have through a large number of character interviews and psychological experiments:
"Introverts are often attracted by the thoughts and feelings of the inner world, while extroverts tend to pay attention to people's external life and activities. Introverts tend to focus on their meaning of the things around them, while extroverts will devote themselves to events. Introverts will charge themselves when they are alone, while extroverts will charge themselves when social activities can not meet their needs."
"Introverts are slower and purposeful in dealing with problems. They prefer to devote themselves to one thing for a period of time, which makes them more focused. Such people tend to be relatively indifferent to the temptation of money and fame."
"Introverts are not the same as hermits or world weary people. Introverts may have hermit complex, but most introverts are friendly and prefer a peaceful environment."
"Introverts do a good job in formulating and implementing plans. They will strictly follow the plans."
"Introverts seem to think more carefully than extroverts. Extroverts are more likely to take some quick ways to solve problems, replacing accuracy with speed. With the progress of the task, they will make more and more mistakes. When the problem seems to become more and more troublesome, they may become deserters. Introverts will think about it before taking action, and fully digest the information they have obtained, even if they spend time on the task For a longer time, they will not give up easily, and they will finish it more accurately. "
"Introverts are also very different in managing their attention: if they are allowed to act at will, introverts tend to sit down and think about things, imagine things, recall the past, and even make plans for the future, while extroverts focus on the things around them. It can be said that extroverts are paying attention to 'what' while introverts are asking 'what will happen'."
"Introverts tend to remain rational when all the people around them are irrational. Self denial is one of the biggest assets of introverts."
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As an introvert, I can feel these advantages: tenacity, focus, insight, thinking... More importantly, I began to appreciate and use these advantages that only introverts have. In fact, sometimes, many extroverts also want to have these advantages of introverts. A friend of mine is a typical extrovert, but every day she has to force herself to sit at her desk and practice calligraphy for an hour to exercise her concentration and endurance. She thinks this is what she lacks.
"In fact, the biggest challenge faced by introverts is to face up to and make full use of their own advantages. You may be busy making yourself behave like a warm and open extrovert all day long, avoiding your own talents, and eventually being despised by others. But when you fully devote yourself to the things you care about, you will find that your energy is infinite. So, please keep your nature, if you like to step by step Steady play, then don't be influenced by others and force yourself to accelerate. If you like deep exploration, you don't have to ask yourself to pursue breadth. If you prefer single tasks to multiple tasks, stick to your position. Only by sticking to your own path can you bring unlimited power. This is the result of introverts' independence from the world. "
When I was in college, our counselor said that ten years later, those who look the least impressive in college may become the best. At that time, I didn't think so. Now, if those taciturn people in the university can find their own right direction and approach it step by step according to their own rhythm, it's not surprising that they will be a blockbuster ten years later.
The secret of life is to put yourself under the right light. For some people, the light that suits them is the spotlight on Broadway. For people like me, a green light is enough. I like reading and writing. These are the advantages given to me by God - when others get together to sing K, go shopping and have fun, I prefer to spend an afternoon polishing my thoughts and practicing my writing. I like baking and making desserts. I have enough patience and perseverance to study and experiment until I make my own delicious food. I enjoy the feeling of being immersed in doing what I like from morning till night. I even like to sit in a coffee shop and do nothing to make myself think aimlessly
Do what you like to do, do meaningful things, study hard and think deeply. For introverts, this is the most correct way to live.