growing up, my musical influences oscillated between old time country and church music, tho there was always a tipping point for my dad where something in the day needed Clapton, or Creedence Clearwater Revival. some very clear and hopeful nights held Pink Floyd.

i still love that music, it lives in me, though i also remember being made fun of in 3rd grade for not knowing who the hell Cyndi Lauper was, or why girls wanted to have fun.

so i went home, did what any lonely child would do: i broke into my brother’s room to listen to his second-hand radio, a rare prize gifted to him for his birthday. (to quote, my “ass would be grass” if he knew.”)

the first song i remember clearly hearing (not the old standbys on 8tracks in my dad’s pick-up truck, at least,) was soft cells “tainted love.”

for a child who knew sundays as the one day a week there would be plenty of pot-luck food and enough distraction to keep my dad sober most of the day, this song completely transformed me. this singular line: “And you think love is to pray… but I'm sorry I don't pray that way” shattered me.

there were other ways to pray?

the best parts of church was choir, though i was told i couldn’t sing, so i would run through the graveyard during Sunday school, telling the teacher my uncle asked me to sit with him because i was a big girl, knowing my uncle wouldn’t say a damned word.

i ran through the graveyard to pray, singing my heart out. i sang to the dead, i sang to life, i sang just for me. because music is like that. it doesn’t care if you're off-key or stumble over words. it doesn’t care what happened before or what may be next. music is like a portal to being fully in the moment, and those moments defined everything for me. i had memorized so many lyrics just to replay in my head; those sundays screaming them to the wind were really freeing.

music can warm us or help us shelter-in-place when we need a break. some music vibrates within, like a tug behind your navel, saying this way~ this is the way home. my playlists are infinite~ you remember in middle school when the cafeteria was divided between social groups, a table for misfits, air supply or pet shop boys, etc... i had a list of songs for every table, enabling a hungry child to swipe a fry here, an apple there, with at least some vibes worth sharing. i was never the popular kid, tho i was a write-in for most unique, truth was id found the lifeline i needed, a way to get through.

it’s like living, breathing, in our own frequency and understanding what does and doesn’t vibe. music connects us to each other beyond borders and barriers or indoctrinated bias. music can heal us, transform us.

music connects pieces of our peace, and what greater peace than being fully in this moment where we can vibe music onchain?