Let’s start this session with a paradox:
Safety is the most dangerous route a person can walk. The seduction of safety is almost always more dangerous than the illusion of uncertainty
How about that? Travel the road less-travelled, don’t walk the path most-travelled which is the path of ease. Just think about it, if I always played it safe I would still be working for a paycheck in an auditing job I disliked, instead of enjoying the fruits of financial freedom and playing on the internet.
Sometimes, it’s worth taking a shot.
To increase the likelihood of your shots hitting the target, it’s best that you learn how to cope with the only consistent thing in the universe: change (another paradox: change is the only constant in life). So make consistency and change part of your DNA, they are not so different, and both lead to mastery.
All the greatest gains in life — in wealth, relationships, or knowledge —come from the magic of compounding interest — amplifying small steady gains. All you need for abundance is to keep adding 1% more than you subtract on a regular basis. Be the change you wish to see by being a bit better than yesterday.
A big step in this process is to leave your harbors of safety. Daily. World-class begins where your comfort zone ends. The closer you get to your genius, the more you will force the sabotage of my fears. Disempower it. Simply by watching its attempts to denounce your mastery. Take calculated risks, fears are your growths coming to get you. Continuing when you are frightened is how you become a legend.
Via the neocortex in your brain, you can outthink your reptile brain. Between stimulus and response, you have 0,5 seconds to catch your fear. And make better choices!
Grow stronger by doing things you have never done before (which creates discomfort). Go to the edge of your limits, and your limits will expand. Go a bit further. Go to the stuff that frightens you, lean into your fear. The thing that frightens you, carries your greatest growth. GO THERE.
Study the lives of the greatest men and women by consuming their autobiography
Radical change is a disruptive event. Feel and think about the pains you run into with desired changes that should realize a win. Is the win > the pain?
You will need to be brave, you literally need to say: I need to go to my edges for the sake of my potential, my greatness, my service to the world. It is gonna be messy and it is gonna be hard. If you want your life to be epic realize that a lot of your life will be confusing, messy, and hard. The root of the word passion is suffering. The champion athletes suffer. Tearing down the game for the sake of a better game. You will suffer a lot, and it hurts, but you will get comfortable in the discomfort and grow magnificently. Get accustomed. This is hard in the beginning, messy in the middle but gorgeous in the end.
Constantly challenge your belief system. Attack the harbor of the safe and known. How to change your belief system? Record your Automated Negative Thoughts (‘I can’t, I don’t do, I’m not a, I’m not good enough for xxx). But also challenges via radical views: about what could I be wrong, what of my daily actions or assumptions will be frowned upon in 100 years from now)
Radical change is a disruptive event. It is centered around your discomfort; transformation is a daily battle between hard and easy. You got to tear your current foundation down and rebuild with the elements you would like to keep and the new desired changes (new habits).
Recreating yourself is not an easy process and is in the end all about bravery. You need to be brave. You will need to be courageous. I need to literally say: I need to go to my edges for the sake of my potential, my greatness, my service to the world. It is gonna be messy and it is gonna be hard. If you want to be epic: a lot of your life will be confusing, messy and hard. The root of the word passion is suffering. You will suffer a lot, it hurts. Get accustomed.
Constantly challenge your belief system. Attack the harbor of the safe and known. In the sake of belief systems that are even better. Suffer in all ways (being laughed at, anonymity to create craft, etc.). The champion athletes suffer. Tearing down the game in the sake of a better game.
The best thing to build your willpower is to voluntarily put yourself in conditions of discomfort. Play through the pain.
Visualise, or actually do: when you are young, spend at least 6 months to one year living as poor as possible. Then, own as little as you possibly can, eating beans and rice in a tiny room or tent, to experience what your “worst” lifestyle might be. That way, you won’t be afraid of the worst-case scenario whenever you risk something in the future.
Before you get angry, somebody is frightened. So whenever you get angry, ask yourself, ‘what did I just get afraid of?’ Behind negativity is fear. Go underwater and dive into the realm of your subconscious. We don’t know what we don’t know. So focus your attention on the shadows.
On the other side of fear lies your best life. Ask yourself daily: what is the route of most pain (don’t go too extreme, you will know what the balanced path is, and you know what you are procrastinating). “Always do what you are afraid to do.”- Yoda.
If you don’t move towards your fear, your fear will mark your limit in that area. Suffering can either embitter us or enable us. Suffocate your demons, slay your dragons and hug your monsters by doing more demanding things.
Commit to being a highly unusual being. If it gets too scary, you might have gotten too far. If you are in need of stability, find what you love. Love is the antidote for fear. Celebrate your blessings. When there is no fear, only you remain 😊
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Train yourself to let go… of everything you fear to lose.” - Yoda
Grow stronger by doing things you have never done before (which creates discomfort).
Go to the edge of your limits, and your limits will expand. Go a bit further. Go to the stuff that frightens me. See fear as signposts.
The seduction of safety is almost always more dangerous than the illusion of uncertainty. Commit to the mountain and lean into your fear. The thing that frightens you, carries your greatest growth. You need to feel a wound to heal a wound. GO THERE. I love my status quo, but this game is all about disrupting my status quo and radically or sometimes steadily growing into your next level. Your growth and progress are built around massive discomfort, not around ease and security. HARD ALWAYS WINS.
Travel the road less-travelled, don’t walk the path most-travelled which is the path of ease. Do simplify, but simple as mastery can be extremely challenging. Stay true to yourself. Not living your talents is irresponsible.
All change is hard in the beginning, messy in the middle and gorgeous in the end. You are a launching space shuttle; you need to overcome your escape launch velocity. You need to be brave; you need to be the bravest person you know.
Loneliness comes from self-centeredness (Jidda Krishnamurti). So the opposite might be true as well. Be altruistic, and enrich your life.
The human brain is powerful. It allows us to build rocket ships, explore physics and overcome unimaginable challenges. Yet it also craves comfort. In many ways, the brain is a creature of habit. It creates neural pathways that it refers back to whenever it needs to make a decision. These pathways become patterns in our thoughts and behaviors. That’s why it seems like we get stuck in a rut sometimes. If you feel like your life is on a loop, you may need to leave your comfort zone.
What is the comfort zone?
The comfort zone is a psychological state in which individuals feel safe. It fulfills our need for certainty, one of the most powerful Six Human Needs. When we’re in our comfort zone, we know what to expect and we know how to react. We feel that we have some control over the situation. All of our immediate needs are filled and we feel at peace.
When we leave the comfort zone, we’re no longer in a familiar and controllable situation. The brain hasn’t created the pathways it needs in order to know how to react – and we may feel anxiety and fear. Yet learning to leave your comfort zone is essential.
Why leave the comfort zone?
Living life in your comfort zone has obvious benefits: low stress, reduced anxiety and general feelings of well-being. But it can also make you feel like you’re in a holding pattern. That’s because uncertainty and growth are also human needs. It’s a paradox: Too much certainty, and we won’t fulfill our need for growth and new experiences. But too much uncertainty can lead to anxiety and lack of productivity.
The ability to move out of your comfort zone in regular, positive ways allows you to strike the right balance between certainty and uncertainty. Pushing your boundaries can make you more productive, more adaptable and more creative. As you push your personal boundaries, you train your brain to adapt to new situations and create new neural pathways that make you a better problem-solver, decision-maker and leader. You truly become unstoppable.
tips to leave your comfort zone today How to leave your comfort zone
To leave the comfort zone, you must learn how to control the natural fear and anxiety you will feel when you try new things. It starts with getting in touch with your emotions and transforming your mindset.
Find your baseline
To move out of your comfort zone, you must determine your risk tolerance. Most people think they’re more risk tolerant than they actually are – and many people don’t actually know their risk tolerance because they’ve never been faced with an extreme situation in which it’s been tested. To find your baseline, determine your driving force. If your number one human need is certainty or connection, you may need to leave your comfort zone more than others. 2. Master your emotions
Those who are able to easily leave comfort zones may have more emotional mastery than those who stay stuck in routines. This doesn’t mean that they repress their emotions – in fact, they do the exact opposite. They acknowledge that their emotions are there to guide them. They feel their feelings fully and ask themselves, “What is this emotion really telling me?” When you leave your comfort zone, anxiety is normal. It’s telling you that you feel vulnerable. Acknowledge it, then move past it. 3. Develop a growth mindset
Growth is one of the most essential human needs: If you’re not growing, you’re dying. The most successful people in the world have a deep need for growth that pushes them to leave the comfort zone in search of new things. This is called having a growth mindset – the belief that humans can improve their skills. In contrast, people with a fixed mindset don’t believe they can improve themselves, and may not bother trying. When you develop a growth mindset, you’ll unlock your inner power. 4. Start small
You don’t need to go big immediately. Start small: Say “hi” to a coworker you’ve never said hi to before. Make a quick company announcement. Take a different route to work. Try a new restaurant. Begin to create new habits that turn your ability to leave your comfort zone into something that feels natural and becomes a part of your daily routine. 5. Find like-minded people
If you want to leave your comfort zone, you must surround yourself with the right people. People with a growth mindset. People who challenge themselves to be better and do better on a daily basis. People who will celebrate your accomplishments and help you learn from your failures. This could be a results coach, a mentor or a group of supportive friends. When you learn to leverage the power of proximity, anything is possible. 6. Accept failure – and find the lesson
Fear of failure is one of the most common fears that hold us back from achieving excellence. When you look at the best athletes, business people and actors, you will find they have one thing in common: they have all failed spectacularly at some point in their lives. The difference is that they don’t let failure hold them back. They know that in every failure there is a lesson – but you must move out of your comfort zone in order to find it.
Which FOMOs do I experience myself? Can I convert them to JOMOs?
Thought and time are the root causes of fear.
But needed on a physical level.
Not needed on the psychological level
Watch yourself like a hawk: see thought and time, not enter the inward psychological realm. Observe, do not analyze (as analyzing requires thinking)
This requires great attention and awareness.
Train the brain to see where it is necessary and where it is not
This is discipline. This is learning.
Discipline and learning are all.
Validate your fears. Acknowledge and feel. To heal your fears, you need to feel their fears. Sit with your fear. Give a voice to your fear (name it). Bring it from the shadows towards the consciousness. Befriend and transcend.
12 most common fears:
Fear of failure (no success without failure). Failure is part of the process.
Fear of success (‘what will people think of you)
Fear of rejection
Fear of not being good enough
Fear of not having enough.
Fear of being different: be authentic, run your own race.
Fear of losing control
Fear of being alone
Fear of illness
Fear of love
Fear of being insignificant
Oops, missed one
More readings from Nassim Taleb
Fooled by Randomness
The Black Swan
The Bed of Procrustes
Antifragile
Skin in the Game
What are your fears? Use the 12-core fear overview. How do they play out in your life (relationships, interactions, actions, chasing dreams)?
Use the available tools to confront your fears (journal, talk, inventory, name, talk with them). To heal your fears, you need to feel your fears, so connect your emotions and find the root. Sit with your fears. Bring them from the shadows and into the light.
Execution Intelligence: run toward each of your fears. Write a letter to each of your fears. Love and logic can melt them away. Don’t marry your fears. New fears will arise once you are on the next level. Tell yourself new stories, and reframe the ego.
Love is the antidote for fear. Celebrate your blessings. When there is no fear, only I remain 😊 What are my blessings?
Slipped and got angry? Great!! This is a great source, to analyze when you get angry. What were you afraid of?