This is not a one-time post. Instead, this post will be home to my daily entries as I navigate through and participate in the first project by the Jenkins the Valet Writers Room.
New posts will appear directly beneath this text. Older posts will be pushed ever downward. At a certain point, all posts will be repurposed into an essay on my experience participating in the first large-scale community-generated novel.
***
Sunday, January 2, 2021
Today, I thought I'd give a little history lesson to put some context around what I'm doing in a "writers room" (Discord + fancy website) for "Jenkins the Valet" (a picture of a monkey) and his "Bored Ape Yacht Club" (10,000 pictures of monkeys.)
Let's start at the very beginning.
Blockchain — a technology that will, by 2025, be central to the creator economy — can be thought of as being in a lineage with the technology that first started to drain money from artist's bank accounts — Napster. Napster opened up an explosion of interest in peer-to-peer sharing, an interest that soon enough resulted in the development of bit torrents.
The idea behind a bit torrent was that instead of a direct one-to-one downloader/uploader relationship, that a network effect could be leveraged. Instead of downloading the file from beginning to end from a single source, the burden was shared. Tens, hundreds, sometimes thousands would pitch in with their piece of the puzzle just by virtue of having the file you wanted. It made it possible to download multiple seasons of TV shows in seconds...not that I ever did.
The clever turn of blockchain technology is that we can ask computers in a network to do more than just hold and upload a file. We can ask them to hold encrypted data in something called a "block." "The blockchain" is every computer that hosts a block, just like The Federalist Party is nothing more than everyone who calls themselves a member.
Every block starts with a summary of the last block. That is followed by the block's own data. That is followed by another summary of the previous block and a summary of the new data. Think of it like some formal debate technique to keep the chain of thought. Repeat the previous point, make your point, and summarize everything again. But then the next block summarizes all of that, not just the new data.
And these blocks and arranged in a row...a single file...a line...A CHAIN! It's a chain of blocks!!!
So now we've got a large number of computers hosting copies of copies of copies of the same encrypted data. If someone actually managed to change something in a block, they'd have to change it universally across host computers to which they have no access.
Which is to say that it is impossible to change anything inside of any block in a blockchain.
Just as rich people are incentivized to be Republicans with generous tax loopholes, host computers are incentivized to be host computers with magic internet money.
If you ever dabbled in bit torrents, you might remember that few who downloaded files from the community committed their device to uploading files for the community. Magic internet money solves that "commitment issue."
Bitcoin uses its blockchain technology to record financial transactions with the Bitcoin cryptocurrency. Computers participating in the Bitcoin blockchain (referred to as "miners" for reasons I won't get into here) are rewarded in Bitcoin.
Cryptocurrency is a fungible token. Fungible means that you can exchange one for another without any change in value. A dollar is a dollar.
The Ethereum blockchain is an entirely separate blockchain that opened up the possibility of creating smart contracts. Smart contracts are immutable and non-fungible contracts. If a fungible item (like a dollar) is "one for one" (meaning they are the same), then a fungible item is "one OF one," meaning it is unique. I can't just swap the title to my car with yours like one might a dollar for a dollar.
You can also attach metadata to the smart contract.
If you're not sure what metadata is, open your Photos app and notice how each picture in your camera roll comes with certain extra information, like where and when the picture was taken. That extra information is metadata.
A non-fungible token (NFT) is a smart contract with metadata. Tomorrow and into the week, I’ll relate the history of the CryptoPunks, the Bored Ape Yacht Club, and Jenkins the Valet.
For all Bored Apes, Mutant Apes, and Writers Room members, tomorrow is the last day to license an ape to a Writers Room pass, and it’s the last day that backstories can be revised.
***
Saturday, January 1, 2021
It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you, the reading public, my good friend, Mutant Ape 1611, or as I call him, Bellamy Bougaimoux (AKA The Rougarou).
As I mentioned yesterday, each license agreement comes with the necessary opportunity to give the Writers Room some context about your ape. Yesterday, I published my character profile for BAYC 3220. And now, I give to you...
Bellamy Bougaimoux
Birthplace: Geneva, Switzerland
Tell us about how your Ape or Mutant ended up at the Yacht Club and the role it plays in their life.
After his wealthy hometown was symbolically destroyed by mutant DeFi anarchists, Bellamy Bougaimoux — aimless college freshman, poet, and wealthy heir to a French banking fortune — was slipped some serum as he hid out in a jazz bar to wait out the ensuing post-curfew riots.
The serum-slinging conspirators took pretty boy Bellamy to a forced-labor ship, where he worked until eventually escaping into the swamps near the Bored Ape Yacht Club. He lives in a mutant enclave of artists, musicians, scientists, and other intellectuals in the deepest recesses of the swamp. He's always the youngest in the room, though he tries to assert his intellectual prowess whenever possible. Many disparage him because of the chunk of his brain that's stuck on the end of the anchor that's penetrated his skull. But that's not his brain.
It's here among his politically risible peers that he discovers the only operational radio station he'd ever seen in his life. The Bored Apes have all gone metaverse, leaving such archaic technology to molder and fade. But Bellamy has other ideas. He's going to broadcast his radical philosophies to rally the mutants to mutiny.
Tell us about your Ape or Mutant’s involvement at the Yacht Club. Are they a member, a worker, an aspiring member, etc.
Bellamy haunts the swamps outside of the Yacht Club, and he does what he can to remain completely anon. On his radio station, WMUT, he's known simply as Rougarou, a reference to the Cajun folkloric monster who lives in the swamp. He's using his radio show, "Rougarou on the MAYC" to rally mutants to overthrow the Yacht Club. The rest of the time, he plays novelty records because that's all he has.
Tell us a brief story that defines your character’s involvement at the Yacht Club or their favorite part of life there.
Not long after Bellamy arrived at the Yacht Club — well before the radio station and before he became the Rougarou — he took a job as a dishwasher at the trashiest spot in the vicinity. It was there that he grew radicalized against the nouveau riche of this balmy paradise.
He produced a quickly suppressed pamphlet that saw limited but highly influential distribution. It was called "The Two-to-One Ape-ortunity: An Essay on Questioning Dominance Structures." The title gives all the context one might need, but in short, his thesis was that if there are 20,000 mutant apes and 10,000 socially dominant bored apes, then surely the social balance must tip sooner or later, so why not sooner?
He was fired from his job the next day and came home to find his modest little lean-to ravaged.
That's when he moved deeper into the swamp.
If Jenkins were to describe your Ape or Mutant with one word, what would he say?
If you ask about the Rougarou, you'll get one of two answers.
Normies say something like, "I've heard of him, and apes say he's crazy..." or "I listened to some broadcasts at an antique shop, but I don't think anyone's crazy enough to listen to this guy."
Everyone else says, "Who?" not because they don't know. They do. They're sussing out if you're "on the right side of history."
Jenkins might not be political, but he knows how to keep out of danger's path. So if he had to describe the Rougarou in one word, Jenkins would say "Who?"
***
Friday, December 31, 2021
Per Neil Strauss, or as he's called in the Writers Room Discord “Apeman Strauss,” licensing agreements are capped off with a pro forma character profile. If you read yesterday's shitpost about my plans for BAYC 3220, then you may be prepared for what you're about to read. If not, it's fine, really.
Here goes...
Name: Snarf Sauerwein
Birthplace: Arizona Bay
Tell us about how your Ape or Mutant ended up at the Yacht Club and the role it plays in their life.
Snarf Sauerwein comes from a long line of very old money, but each generation — ever dumber and more useless than the last — dwindled the family fortune down to nubbins. When Snarf finally came of age as the youngest of seven self-entitled pricks, nothing was left. He stole his elderly mother's private key and used his ill-gotten small fortune to buy his way into the Yacht Club, where he lives well beyond his means and most apes can tell right away that Snarf ain't truly bored.
Snarf has no real-life skills and he's not smart enough for yield farming. He thinks of himself as a preeminent con artist, but his most impressive cons have been fleecing mutants. He's got his eye on encroaching on the Ape Father, but he's biding his time.
Tell us about your Ape or Mutant’s involvement at the Yacht Club. Are they a member, a worker, an aspiring member, etc.
Snarf has a lower-tier membership, but he leases a nice yacht and rents a rotating cast of compensatory phallic sports cars. He's what the kids these days call "extra." He tries too hard, and his constant interruptive selfies on the pier or at the bar have the higher-valued apes alert to a leech. Snarf has the energy and determination to work a room to the bone, but his obvious self-regard is off-putting enough to sour any con job before it gets going. In other words, Snarf could stand a chance at being a pretty good con artist if only he was self-aware enough to know that no one — literally no one — actually likes him.
Tell us a brief story that defines your character’s involvement at the Yacht Club or their favorite part of life there.
Snarf's birthdays since joining the Yacht Club have become the stuff of legend: extravagant, masturbatory, and poorly attended. Typically, one might find a playlist in which every fourth song was written, performed, and produced by Snarf himself, all of them bad. The walls and ornamentation usually involve a visual assault of themed portraits of Snarf featuring rare traits that he had Photoshopped in. Typically, some smart ape will show up and get a few clips to shitpost and ridicule, but Snarf is the kind of guy who just appreciates the likes and follows. By the end of the night, Snarf is always too fucked up to realize it’s only 9:45 PM, and he always thinks it was a legendary night.
If Jenkins were to describe your Ape or Mutant with one word, what would he say?
Insufferable.
***
Thursday, December 30, 2021
Now I'm not a petty person, but...
And the truth is, I could've done more due diligence, but...
And I'm sure he's a nice guy and all, but...
So the story is that I bought a Valet Ticket, which affords 5 votes and 1 license, but I wanted to be more involved with the Writer's Room. So I aped in again and got a secondary market Valet Key. Once I got it, I realized that it had already been licensed to an ape: BAYC 3220.
Well, I took that to be a great thing. After all, it was one less thing to do, and if this guy was already licensed to a key, then he must be keen to collaborate. So I tracked him down on Twitter. And I tracked him down on Discord. And I tracked him down in the Writers Room server. And I never got a response.
Digging a little deeper, I learned the license was not a generous one. The owner of BAYC 3220 gets 100% of the royalties generated by Jenkins' Book One. The key holder (me), gets what's left, i.e., 0%. AKA, zero things.
Which is totally within his rights! And I should've checked the licensing before thunking down that goodly fraction of an ETH! And anyway/besides, the license only holds for Book One, which means the contract will end in however many SHORT YEARS that takes, then I'll be free to do all the licensing I want! So don't be bitter, I say! Don't be bitter! Don't do it!
But...
And I'm not saying this is coming from a place of bitterness, but what I'm saying is that I'm sure there are plenty of people who want their apes to be heroes or (more likely) really badass anti-heroes. So there's probably a lot of room for assholes and doofuses. Right?
So here's the deal with BAYC 3220...
Rising tides raise all yachts, and BAYC 3220 is no different. In fact, I'm going to write my ass off for BAYC 3220. I want BAYC 3220 to make an appearance in the book, and I want the owner of BAYC 3220 to bathe in money because it proves the power of community collaboration at this incredible scale.
But BAYC 3220 will be the biggest twat in the Yacht Club. BAYC 3220's slimy, erumpent personality will make Joffrey Baratheon look like Jon Snow. People (and apes) will love to watch BAYC 3220 suffer.
Tomorrow, I’ll post this mewling slimeball’s character profile, requested by and submitted to the Writers Room.
***
Wednesday, December 29, 2021
Yesterday I finally dove into the Jenkins short stories to get a sense of the BAYC narrative world. These "short stories" are actually just 500-word introductions — of characters and their concomitant intrigue.
In this world, rarity and valuation determine personal worth — pretty utopian, right? — and all lesser BAYCs (don't even mention Mutant Apes) get stuck in service positions, like our hero Jenkins, who sees his shiny job valet job at the Yacht Club as his chance to make a little scratch and do some wise hodling.
But combine Skull & Crossbones, The Five Families, the CIA, the FBI, and the KGB and you're only starting to approach the soul-sucking dastardliness of this moneyed place. Here, Jenkins learns that obedience and discretion can go a long way.
Jenkins first earns The Ape Father's trust. Then word gets around fast, and pretty soon he's helping out other apes — some of whom seem to be at cross-purposes. He helps a down-on-his-luck old-timer recover a priceless private key. He meets a famous former stuntman-turned-altcoin-shill and falls in love with a model ape who's appeared in magazines.
The more I read these stories, the more I drift into a Pynchonian mindset — who are the bad guys? are there good guys? who's got the money and who's got the drugs? are they the same people? why?
There will be plenty to report back. Next time, I'll recount a bit more of Jenkins' backstory, and soon I'll introduce the two apes I'll be co-licensing for Book 1.
***
Friday, December 24, 2021
Jenkins the Valet is making good on the paradigm-shifting move made by the creators of the Bored Ape Yacht Club. The move? Issue intellectual property rights with each NFT purchase, which — overnight — laid the groundwork for a potential extended narrative universe. The Writers Room is the natural outgrowth of that decision on the part of the BAYC creators.
It’s been about two weeks since I bought my first Jenkins the Valet Writers Room ticket. It’s not even been a week since I decided that the ticket didn’t give me enough to work with, so I bought a Writers Room key.
This post will be the living document of my experience in The Writers Room. I plan to post my learnings, opinions, and creative process in this daily-updated article.
Over the coming weeks, I will be:
- Learning the ins and outs of existing Bored Ape Yacht Club (BAYC) and Mutant Ape Yacht Club (MAYC) lore and existing stories.
- Introducing my co-licensed apes and going through the process of building out their backstories and lore.
- Participating in the submitting proposals, voting, and collaborating with other apes and the official author of the first Jenkins the Valet novel, Neil Strauss.