🙇🏼‍♀️ Adventure Journal Entry #03: Source Idea

Hallo dear AJ,

My heart is dancing, singing, and celebrating the beauty of life. I want you to ease into all that is alive in me, so I ground this journal entry into a gift Trent left for us-all to enjoy:

Evolutionary Purpose is to imagine the most beautiful world you are able and set your being alive to align with that Evolutionary Vision - every day, being as it already is.

I love this framing because it reminds me of the importance of dreaming! Only when we allow ourselves to dream, imagine, and even feel this vision of the most beautiful world can we tap into a practice of listening and discerning from our hearts. A reflective self-inquiry dance between resonance and dissonance that keeps me grounded in my integrity and aligned with my evolutionary purpose.

Like any other ecstatic dance, there is no set of defined steps in order to move. Your dancing might look very different from my dancing, yet we both need trust in ourselves to follow that subtle feeling that started our dancing in the first place.

My self-trust fuels my commitment! A commitment to continuously dance this vision of a more syntropic future into existence. My creative response to the painful awareness of planetary collapse and the abundance of entropy in my life. Both are inviting me to relate differently to my lived experience. The processes, principles, and rhythms I learn and adopt are only here to guide my unlearning and growth while moving through the many layers of my conditioning with radical tenderness. They might help your dance, or they might not. That is not up to me to figure out! Only you can know what moves are right, true, and beautiful for your ecstatic dance. 💃🏼

Hidden behind the many layers, I found a tiny space of clarity and ease, a kind of home that feels familiar and new simultaneously. In that small yet expanding space lives a sense of purpose - in Dzava language duty - that comes with a great responsibility to be the most disciplined steward I can possibly be.

A steward for all life, especially this beautiful life I am privileged to enjoy.

A steward for my evolutionary purpose, I am honored to have received.

A steward for the many small and big source ideas calling for my unconditional love.

A big part of nurturing my self-trust is to listen to and be in relationship with my intuition. Trust and intuition are like flowers and bees. One cannot live without the other. My intuition has always been one of my most loyal companions, even while I was oblivious to her gentle guidance. Only by entering the field of self-trust, I reconnected with my intuition.

From my outer realm adventures

Now I can see clearly how following my intuitive knowing has brought me here, which is the essence of PlanetHive’s source idea. Without my intuition, I would have never pursued a career in Marketing or rediscovered my sacred bond with Mother Earth while living in Aotearoa New Zealand. My evolutionary journey and my passion for justice and inclusivity allowed the source idea to emerge: PlanetHive is where love stories for All Life are born.

When I stepped out of the Modernity career game, Escape Artist Kath wanted to run as far away as possible from Marketing and what it stands for in Modernity. I was pretty damn good at pointing out the evil of data-driven marketing frameworks and the optimizing frenzy to squeeze the shit out of click-through rates and cost-per-clicks to sell something to someone. I tried to run away from my complicity, the guilt, and the shame that came with it. Marketing was dead for me! PlanetHive was born as a Climate Action Workspace. I thought all we climate activists need to make a difference, are collaborative spaces and systems rooted in trust. And while I still believe this is What we need, I refused to look at the Why and the How because I occupied myself with trying to ignore my evolutionary journey. I essentially blended out everything I learned in Modernity while I unconsciously did marketing of some kind in Samara Trust and Earth Regenerators. I know, AJ, it is bloody hilarious!

It was exactly a year ago when a more refined version of PlanetHive’s source idea arrived. A moment of epiphany I will never forget! Immersed in the most mundane act of cleaning the kitchen, I suddenly started laughing out loud, feeling silly about the simplicity of it all and my inability to have seen it before because it was right there in front of me. Fifteen minutes of uncontrolled laughter and tears of emotional relief have brought Marketing back into my life: PlanetHive was calling to be the Home of Earth Influencers! Imagine brand influencers; instead of selling something to someone, we are creating and telling stories of love in service of Mother Earth. 🌏

Oh, Hey Marketing! I almost didn’t recognize you with your different look; fresh, even pure, without the heavy cloak of cold data-driven BS selling you used to wear. 

The following days were full of switching between euphoria and emotional overwhelm by what this all meant. The distinction felt right, true, and beautiful, yet I was terrified by the hugeness of this revelation. Whenever I tried to tap into this new stream of awareness, I struggled to breathe, and my chest and throat would tighten up, and I would ask myself Why me? My gut - home of my intuition, emotional passion, and rage - usually responds first in those (now rare) Why me?-moments by asking Who else, if not you? ❤️‍🔥

And there it was, the open invitation from deep within me to dream into existence what Marketing in Service of All Life can be. Today, a year later, I still cannot see the source idea in all its beauty. Yet, what I can sense is enough to stay and trust in the flow of the many inquiries that guide me on my adventures. 🧭

What became clear, however, is that PlanetHive is not only the home of Earth Influencers but also the home of Syntropic Storytelling, a new paradigm job, or what future generations might call an archetype practice. PlanetHive is a space where stewards of regenerative projects can connect with well-trained syntropic storytellers. I can also see that PlanetHive will not be an employer as we know it from Modernity. There will be a new type of workspace, yet to fully emerge. There will be no transactional one-on-one exchange of money for services provided. However, there will be means for Earth Influencers to sustain their right livelihood while learning and practicing syntropic storytelling. However, it is not time to name any of that yet! All I can do is let go of any force and surrender to trusting in Kairos time. I will know when that time has come because I will find the right words effortlessly to address the many missing gaps.

The deep conditioning of Modernity does not allow me to walk this path of no force while trusting in nature half-heartedly. It takes conviction, a freaking amount of patience, and the only force in universe that is truly invincible: Love.

From my inner realm adventures

I am feeling immense pressure from my external environment to show a profitable business model for PlanetHive, often expressed through questions and remarks like But how do you want to make money? You need to know how to make money out of this.

Yes, I hear you, and my former self would have tried to react urgently to these inquiries of care with some half-baked solutions that I would have carved out to fit perfectly into Modernity. A reaction rooted in the desire to move our conversation out of discomfort, driven by an unconscious attitude to aid my survival. The perfect escape!

Today, Adventuring Kath also hears you. However, I am not trying to please you or me by forcing our relationship into a felt sense of comfort that is merely a shiny illusion. I am comfortable with sitting in that tension and letting all that comes with it move through me.

Do I wish to not worry anymore about how to pay for rent, power, and food? Yes, I do! I would not be honest with myself if I would not admit this wish exists and is alive in my inner reals. Equally, I would not be honest with myself if I would not acknowledge and honor how much my resilience and trust have grown because of this felt scarcity of my financial means. I try to dance as best as I can with appreciation, gratitude, and curiosity when learning to embrace entropy. So far, I can feel how it strengthens my courage and helps me to stay in my integrity while trying to be fully present in my awareness and embodiment.

Instead of asking Why me? I now ask Who am I truly serving, All Life or myself? Buckminster Fuller had a beautiful self-discipline that resonates deeply with me: Serve All Humanity.

My understanding of this discipline is as long as my honest intention is to wholeheartedly be in service of All Life, as opposed to seeking business-as-usual or traditional personal gain, I will have enough resources to sustain my right livelihood. I dare to say it is my attempt to spiral to a place of selflessness and being in reciprocal relationships. An adventure that can only happen when I embody my values from an honest heart and give generously without expecting anything in return. There is a difference between holding expectations and trusting. This deep self-trust, which I have never experienced, is here to help me to see my limiting beliefs for what they are.

Not long ago, I found myself at a seemingly challenging choice point of going back to playing the career game in Modernity, so I can afford the rent for this most beautiful home I’ve been lucky enough to live in for many years now. I am holding this place, my first felt home, and the countless memories I have been given so dearly in my heart that I couldn’t let go. Well, I didn’t want to let go!

First the discomfort I sat in felt like I was giving up. Yes, there was an impulse to run again, but I chose not to escape through the wide-open backdoor into Modernity. Instead, I stayed and asked myself some honest heart questions:

  • What am I truly giving up by holding onto this lifestyle I have built for myself?

  • Who am I actually in service of by trying to hold onto it?

Oh AJ, the truth can be so utterly painful to accept: I would give up everything I believe we as a species are capable of embodying! Along with some of the most precious resources I have to offer: Energy and time. They say the times are urgent, so we need to slow down. I wholeheartedly agree!

Going back into playing the Modernity career game, I would give away energy and time. I wouldn’t be able to slow down nor trust in Kairos time while essentially spending my valuable resources on serving myself and the lifestyle I so utterly enjoy. Because I enjoyed it so much, I made myself believe the lifestyle is what I need to be of highest service. I still enjoy my lifestyle for as long as it last, but this moment when brutal honesty and love for All Life slapped me in the face has allowed me to ask myself Is this truly what I need, or is it something I want, or I wish for? Ouch!

All I needed was a new story that I could tell myself: I am ready to let go because I am grounded in my roots. I am strong and mature enough to feel at home and to be in service of All Life anywhere because Mother Earth loves me no matter where I am.

This love story has given me the peace I needed to leave all that I have been holding onto behind. I feel grief with the utmost gratitude for the many moments of magic I’ve been so fortunate to experience. I hold deeply cherished memories of love in my heart. They will always be with me wherever I’ll be.

It’s a bit ironic that I leave this home behind with so much grief when I move back to the place where my biological roots are. I cannot call it home yet, but I can say that I am wholeheartedly committed to living into and embodying a new relationship with my birthplace. Being fully aware that this is not an easy adventure, I am excited to reconnect with new and old tree friends, bird friends, water friends, and even human friends.

There is so much more for me to learn and unlearn. It feels like I am only scratching the surface of the many layers of my conditioning. However, the inner expansion that comes with my conscious choice to sit and be with the many triggers I experience is rewarding, intriguing, and healing.

AJ, my life is changing - upside down and inside out! Flip it, flip it one more time or as often as you want. Bring it in! I am ready! I am committed to traveling at the speed of trust with an open heart and mind to how the more beautiful world wants to be brought into existence; while stubbornly holding an evolutionary vision in my heart that feels right, true, and beautiful.

Aroha mai. Aroha atu.

Love received. Love given.

Kath 🐝

HeArted on the lands of Taranaki Whānui ki Te Upoko o Te Ika, I wish to acknowledge them as tangata whenua, the people of the land.

🗺️ Visit Native-Land.ca to learn more about the ancestors of the lands and waterways where you live, work, and play.

heART: Frequency FreqVE 'Adventuring’ by Lady Daya and photo of Cormorant by Shlomo Shalev via unsplash

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