An Open Letter to His Friends, Defenders, and Loved Ones

You are here because of Joel Johnson.

Maybe you were sent here.

Maybe you found this on your own.

But no matter how you arrived, I already know what you’re feeling.

You want to defend him.

You want to believe in him.

You think you see the full picture—

…but you do not.

Because you have only seen Joel through Joel’s eyes.

This is the Joel you see.

The version of him that you know is real to you.

But what if I told you that Joel Johnson does not actually exist in the way you believe?

You believe in the image he projects, not the man who exists behind it.

And today, that illusion dies.

1. The Man You Think You Know

Joel has carefully curated himself for you.

He is intelligent, charismatic, quick-witted.

He tells compelling stories—

…about his victories, his struggles, his battles against forces who never seem to understand him.

He’s always fighting, isn’t he?

Fighting a company.

Fighting an ex-business partner.

Fighting the system.

Fighting some unseen enemy that is always against him.

But isn’t it strange how there is always an enemy?

Have you ever stopped to ask why?

Because the truth is this: Joel cannot exist without conflict.

He manufactures an opposition in every phase of his life so that he can remain in a perpetual cycle of victimhood and heroism.

When he wins, he is the genius who outmaneuvered his adversaries.

When he loses, he is the tragic figure, wronged and misunderstood.

And you—

…you are the audience he needs to validate it all.

2. The Patterns You Missed

Look back.

• How many friendships has Joel walked away from?

• How many times has he blamed others for failures that were, in reality, his own?

• How often has he changed his story—shifting just enough details to always remain the righteous one?

You’ve seen it.

You’ve felt it—

…those small moments where something didn’t quite add up, but you brushed it aside because he had a good explanation.

But now ask yourself:

Why does this keep happening?

Because Joel Johnson is incapable of accountability.

To own his mistakes would mean to dismantle the entire identity he has built.

And so, instead of taking responsibility, he rewrites history.

And you—

…you have been a character in his narrative, not an equal.

3. How Joel Manipulates Your Loyalty

Joel is not stupid.

He understands you, perhaps better than you understand yourself.

He knows what you want to believe, so he feeds you exactly that.

Here’s how he keeps you in his orbit:

• He Controls the Narrative

  • He frames everything so that he is always justified.

  • If something contradicts him, he reframes it as an attack.

  • He positions himself as a martyr when convenient, a mastermind when necessary.

• He Creates an “Us vs. Them” Mentality

  • He tells you that he is under attack.

  • That people are trying to “bring him down.”

  • That only those loyal to him will truly understand the truth.

• He Makes You Emotionally Invested

  • He confides in you—making you feel special and trusted.

  • He tells you just enough to hook you into his story.

  • He binds you to him through shared struggle.

And once you’re invested, once you’ve defended him, once you’ve put your reputation on the line for him—

…he owns you.

Because to turn on him now would mean to admit that you were deceived.

And that is a painful thing to face.

4. The Truth That Hurts, But Sets You Free

Joel does not love you the way you love him.

To him, you are not a person—

…only a role.

A chess piece.

A source of validation.

A reinforcement of his ego.

And when you no longer serve his needs, you will be discarded, just as countless others before you have been.

It may not be today.

It may not be tomorrow.

But it will happen.

Because that is what he does.

And the only question that remains is this:

Do you see it now?

Or will you wait until he inevitably does it to you, too?

5. The Final Choice

You are standing at a crossroads.

You can double down, tell yourself that I am the villain, that this is just another one of Joel’s enemies, that everything written here is manipulation.

Or you can wake up.

Not for me.

Not for Joel.

For yourself.

Because the only real way to win against a narcissist is to stop playing their game.

Joel cannot exist without an audience.

Joel cannot thrive without enablers.

Joel cannot rewrite the past if enough people refuse to let him.

The illusion only works if you believe in it.

So what happens when you don’t?

6. A Final Message to Joel Johnson

Because I know you’re reading this.

I know you’ll devour every word.

And I know that in this moment, you are spiraling—

…wondering which of them will believe it, which of them will start questioning, which of them will begin to slip away.

You won’t be able to stop yourself from trying to reframe this.

You will scramble to counter it.

You will desperately spin a new narrative.

You will lose sleep over this.

And yet, Joel—

…the truth is already out.

You built your world on deception.

And now?

The mirror has shattered.

--

Mark Randall Havens | The Bully Expert | The Narcissist’s Reckoning

See my formal research assessments on Joel’s online behavioral patterns—