Swami Ranganathananda in his book “Universal Message Of The Bhagavad Gita” quotes from a book titled “The Science Of Life” by H.G Wells, G.P Wells and Julian Huxley:

“Personality (centered in the ego) may be only one of nature’s methods, a convenient provisional delusion of considerable strategic value.”

To proclaim with such conviction that the “thing” (our personality) that seems so real, so close, so visceral and so central is a “provisional delusion” - temporary and unreal, is both bewildering and liberating at once. Not to say it does not have value - it definitely has utility in helping us grapple with day to day realities. It gives us and others who interact with us, a sense of continuity.

The struggle starts when we forget that it only “seems” to be real, close, visceral and central while it is actually not. Consider for a minute how this manifests in everyday life. A lot of us identify ourselves strongly with some dimension our identity - work identity for example. At a more harmless level, when we meet someone new, almost inevitably we start with “What do you do?”, “Where do your work?” etc., putting the work we do ahead of who we really are. On the more harmful level, we end up taking our titles, size of our teams, revenue we bring in, airline miles we accrue and the rest of it too seriously - we get attached and feed these narratives like nutrition supplements to the “provisional delusion”. Am I saying ambition is bad? Not at all - Be ambitious. Reach for the skies. Just don’t feed the ghost. The title is a mask and the mask has a utility in a specific context - max it out but make sure you remove it when you don’t need it. Makes you a better leader, parent, son/daughter, sibling and a human being. Build some self awareness. Be present. Suffer less.

Mental health and wellness conversations need to have this front and center. Sure, there are things you can “do” like meditation - but that’s a bandaid. What you need is a shift to a different paradigm where all of life is a meditation - while you are in the thick of things that your role and title demand from you, you still have enough self awareness to stay detached and not feed the ghost. You enjoy the dopamine surge but you stay a bit aloof. I anchor on this all the while in my coaching conversations - the paradox of balancing intense passion for what you do and detachment at once.

I’ll leave you with what is considered to be a red thread running across Chinese philosophy which I believe captures the spirit of this post beautifully.

‘Sageliness within’ and ‘Kingliness without.’

This is the ethos we need for creating a new generation of leaders who are intensely fearless and compassionate at once.