As I sit here with electrodes on my neck sending waves through my nervous system to ease the pain that goes along with this particular incarnation of human existence I ask myself why pain? Why pain? Why not joy, pleasure, glee, or any of the emotions that we enjoy feeling? Why is pain the greatest teacher in life? Now I will use the word GOD for simplicity, however we know that the actual explanation for what we call God is way deeper and longer to understand then the simple word, but for the sake of keeping it simple I will use the title given to the energy that powers the universe and all that exits which we collectively call God.

So why pain? Is pain a human condition? Truly, madly, deeply I believe it is. Have you ever died? Well of course you have, we all have. Have you ever been to the void and back? If you have then you fully understand this and if not, you will in time, even if it’s only in the hour of your death you will clearly see that what we call pain only exists in the human existence.

We are all “sons and daughters of the source” children of god, created in his (or her) divine image to come unto this world and experience it in only the way a human can. We are the transmitters and receivers of everything between universal existence and what happens here on earth. So then pain, as a whole, isn’t just a tool for us to use to learn as we go through life and have the experiences we endure it is also a tool for God to learn through our existence ultimately what is going on on earth, with the earth, and how we are managing as a collective whole. Pain is necessary for us to learn and adapt, and our scars in death are necessary for the earth and the universe to reflect on and adjust as necessary.

Physical pain teaches you what not to do, how not to do it, and how to avoid further injury. Without physical pain we would destroy our bodies long before we ever got anywhere in life and existence as a whole would slowly come to a halt as there would be no more forward progress. Energy needs to stay in motion to stay in motion. Eventually the last lemming will jump off the cliff because he doesn’t know any better. Pain teaches us better. Keeps us in forward motion, on the path home. Home is always the destination, you just may not realize it yet or understand what that means, however the end of the journey always feels like home. It has to.

Emotional pain, this one is much harder to understand the necessity of, and a large part of that comes down to one simple difference… physical pain you not only can explain in reflection, you usually can see it coming… emotional pain is not the same. Emotional pain is all rooted in love. This is where it gets tricky and sticky, so stay with me here, Love is the only real emotion. When you feel emotional pain of any sort, any sort at all, what you are actually feeling is the absence of what you believe love to be. That is why it hurts so bad, feels like a hole just got ripped in your soul, and why nothing can sooth it. Not like physical pain, that you can take a pill for, take a bath for, talk a walk for, hot tubs, massages, morphine nuff’ said, if you’ve ever had morphine for an injury you get it. (Like I said, I’ve been dead) Emotional pain only begins where physical pain ends. So the things you reach for with a headache, stomach ace, or even broken bone barely mask the weight of emotional pain. I’ve known too many people who have overdosed, way too many, and only 1 was from physical pain. 10 years on painkillers after a 3-tier spinal fusion in his neck and his body just said enough is enough and he passed in his sleep one night. It happens, it’s ok, we spoke briefly after his passing, and I was fortunate enough to message his phone one last time and get his wife whom I got to share kind words with the day before it got shut off. He is at peace. The rest of my friends who’ve gone from here too soon, all from trying to kill that monster that is emotional pain. If any of them could feel loved the way they actually were in this world they would have made different choices. Nobody choses that and doesn’t regret it, even if they are fortunate enough to be at peace with their decision on the other side the all regret not living out their lifetime here. All of them. Every single soul I encounter who made that choice wishes they could go back and choose love. Choose to love themselves the way they now see others loved them. Your blind to that when your in emotional pain. Un-godly blind to it in fact. Emotional pain is the absence of love, love in your heart that you feel is missing so you allow it to manifest into something else and create room to express that manifestation. The seven deadly sins… Sure there is more to it then that, and we don’t need to discuss it all because once again, that’s a book, this is about love and understanding of self, and if you’ve read this far you get what I mean by that. Just know the concept of the seven deadly sins is rooted in the truth that we seek excessive amounts human of pleasure, excitement and satisfaction in place of love and without understanding that it is love we seek all in the name of numbing emotional pain.

The secrets of the universe lie within man. If this is true, then it is only fitting that the path I have found best to process and grow from emotional pain is through meditation. I haven’t found all the secrets of the universe yet, but I have found an understanding of why we go through emotional pain and have to return to a state of love to begin to understand this complex human existence we endure. The core is trust, the strongest form of love is trust. Were born into this world completely helpless and 100% dependent on others. Were forced to trust. We have to trust. It’s all we know. We trusted our mother to grow and protect us while we incubated, and we now will trust her again along with her partner hopefully in todays day and age to take care of us as we begin our journey of life. We don’t know it’s trust, we just know we love these people and the take care of us. We don’t know it as trust until we get betrayed by somebody somewhere. That’s the first time we feel anything other then love emotionally. We may get angry, we may get sad, scared, anxious, there are countless ways in which we may manifest what we do with the pain, the pain of not feeling loved the way we have grown to expect to. Babies cry, toddlers tantrum, children act out, and adults become horrible to each other and ultimately the world we live in and on suffers greatly.

Love is the only real emotion, the first time our trust is broken by another is the first time we don’t feel that love from another, and that’s the first crack in our divinity. It’s ok however, for we are created in divinity, out of the great reflecting pool of existence and that existence is where we return when our journey is done here with all the knowledge and scars of this human existence. We return to the pool of existence and we release all that we carry back to the universe for the knowledge to be put into use within the divine machine we call eternity. So don’t worry, you can’t really screw it all up and end up in hell for all of eternity, all you really end up doing is torturing yourself here for your entire earthly existence to find out we all go back to the same home anyway.