To be alone is to enlarge the space of being alone with others as much as possible.

“Pink Girl” is going to be remake!

Which of the four characters do you like best?

I like “marriage maniac” best and Liu Ruoying best.

Among the four women, she is the one with the most jokes and the one with the most stupidity, but she is also the one who has transformed the most thoroughly and moved the most.

Although she shouted “I want to get married, I want to get married” every day, she gradually found that the man in front of her was not a good match and would leave decisively.

In real life, Liu Ruoying is also very sober emotionally. In order to maintain herself after marriage, she separated from her husband for 9 years, but her feelings are still sweet.

Today, let’s talk about Liu Ruoying’s “marriage”.

Liu Ruoying lived with her grandparents since childhood. She had no playmates of the same age around her. She had to lie in bed and entertain herself.

At the age of 16, she went to the United States to study alone. In addition to staying with her grandparents for more than half a year when she returned to Taiwan, she lived alone for more than 20 years.

For her, being alone is her life state, and living alone is more like an instinct.

Until the age of 41, I met my present husband on the prairie of Inner Mongolia.

Two people who are photography lovers are crazy shooting on the grassland and have endless common topics.

Everything was arranged by God, and the two began to communicate.

After dating for some time, her boyfriend wants to marry her. But the “independent” Liu Ruoying even has different requirements for marriage.

Others should talk about feelings and money before marriage, but Liu Ruoying thinks they should travel together for a month before marriage. After a month’s hard work, such couples will not divorce until they have not hated each other.

The husband also agreed with her, so the two began their pre wedding trip.

Accommodation and location shall be arranged by the husband; Liu Ruoying is responsible for arranging meals, and packing. In case of differences, the two discussed together.

Not long after the trip, Liu Ruoying announced on her microblog: “yes, I’m married. I’m a very happy bride.”

After marriage, she still maintained an “independent” life.

Sometimes two people go out together, go to different cinemas and watch different movies.

Two people go home together, one to the left and one to the right. Both have their own separate bedrooms and study, and share a kitchen and dining room.

You might say, “isn’t that close to divorce?”

Of course not.

Living in separate beds, for them, is not emotional breakdown, but to retain their independence and freedom to the greatest extent. In Liu Ruoying’s words: “a perfect relationship is to stay alone in the arms of your lover”.

Although they don’t sleep in the same bed, they have the same interests. They both love photography and reading. In their spare time, they bring a book to read.

She wrote in “I dare be lonely in your arms”:

“In one’s life, one is either striving for one’s own space or adapting to the space of others. Being alone is to enlarge oneself infinitely, while living together is to narrow down as much as possible to adapt to the space vacated by others.”

When she didn’t work, she would eat happily with her friends and turn on the air conditioner before her husband woke up, because her husband’s sentence “my study is actually very warm” made her feel comfortable.

They will not force each other to accommodate themselves, nor will they force themselves to cater to each other, respect and understand each other.

When most lovers are together, they hope to change each other, or adjust their pace to cater to each other, as if this can be called a partner.

However, the more determined they are to keep pace with each other, the more difficult they find it to get along with each other.

The way to love someone doesn’t necessarily need to be tied together all the time, but to let the other party know that it’s good to have you.

As Liu Ruoying said in her book, “because I keep you, I feel happy. At the same time, I keep myself, so we are at ease and free.”

However, many women in modern society are too insistent on maintaining independence and self-identity in their feelings, which is a little over correcting.

That’s what girlfriends do.

If you want me to say who is an independent woman, the first thing I think of is her.

First of all, she can earn money with a monthly salary of 50000. At the age of 30, she manages her own small team;

Secondly, she can take care of herself. Although she has less rest time, her private life is particularly rich, including cooking, cleaning, baking and self driving;

Finally, she is also very positive energy. It seems that she is very happy every day, and the people around her are optimistic because of her influence.

Moreover, she also has a particularly excellent boyfriend, who is a model couple in the circle of friends.

But by the time she visited, her boyfriend had broken up with her and moved out of the common home.

The reason is also very simple: she is so independent that her boyfriend can’t find the value of her existence.

Once, she ran to a bar to drink alone and was caught by her boyfriend’s buddy. After his boyfriend knew, he rushed over and picked her up.

After waking up, her boyfriend asked her why she went to drink, but she refused to say. As a result, her boyfriend became anxious and began to suspect that she had cheated on her, so she hesitated and said, “I’m in a bad mood and want to drink to release the pressure.”

The boyfriend asked again, “why didn’t you tell me when you were in a bad mood?”

She said, “I’m afraid to pass negative energy to you…”

As a result, his boyfriend was even more angry: “don’t spend money, don’t buy gifts, don’t repair light bulbs, and now don’t even coax you. Do you really need me?”

She hesitated to answer this question, and her boyfriend moved out in a rage.

Is independence bad?

Of course not. The bad thing is that you are too independent to rely on others.

At first glance, some people may be strong, confident or even successful, but they are actually fragile and uneasy.

Because they rarely expose their vulnerability in front of others, they will often make their partners and people close to them feel frustrated that they can’t find a sense of existence, as if their existence is dispensable, thus losing their confidence in this relationship.

In fact, moderate dependence is beneficial to feelings.

Psychologist Robert F. Bernstein explains “moderate dependence”:

Moderate dependence is the ability to integrate intimacy and autonomy, maintain a strong sense of self while relying on others, and be willing to ask for help when needed without feeling self-conscious