Welcome back to another Teaky Tuesday – it’s actually Wednesday, but let’s assume for my own sanity that I wrote this yesterday so I can continue my weekly tradition. 

Incidentally, this week I am thinking about routine. I am thinking about structure, giving form to the shapeless blobs that are, in fact, my waking days. I rise at 8:30am each morning – in reality more like 9am with snoozes – and I stretch to my toes (I get about halfway down my shins), my spine cracking like a xylophone. Refreshed, I confront the dizzying, endless, horrifying possibilities of my day. 

I have very few routines that I keep these days, and fewer still that are spurred and instigated by myself. When did I lose that? I am atrophying in my dim bedroom, day after day, cloistered, insulated, isolated from the greater Los Angeles County City Limits. The freeways are the walls to my jail cell, the garbage-strewn streets are the bars. The lock and key are of my own making, though; I can break free of my pity prison if I so choose. My fate is in my own hands.

Yuck! Send Silver-Lake-Edgar-Allan-Poe back to the English Honors Thesis Class Excerpt Reading from whence he came! Tell him to hoist his Outdoor Voices Tote back onto his shoulders and leave this Trader Joe’s at once! I’m not so bleak or blasé as I lead myself to believe at times. This will be a good summer. It is shaping up to be a good year. I am shaping up to be a better person.

Oh, how I love my little, digital, mintable shouts into the void here on Mirror. How many people read this? Do you want it as an NFT? Ha, not yet, eager collectors. It’s all worthless for now but at least it exists in perpetuity on The Blockchain! Amen!

On a brighter note, EXISTENTIAL CRISIS comes out this Friday, and taking heaping spoonfuls of my own medicine, I am rejecting dissociation; I am rejecting cheap woe-is-me music; I am embracing the bright light of opportunity that comes in the form of TikTok self-promotion! That’s what it’s all about, folks! Sieving and straining my own ego, distilling my creativity into palatable chunks of screen time in the hope that MILLIONS may look upon my face and deem me worthy of their love and affection and presaves! This is what humanity has craved; this is the cumulative peak of social interaction in the form of an infinite swipe! Rejoice, friends! We exist in the time of repeat-dancing, of lip-syncing, of trend-setting, of go-getting, of be-your-own-boss-and-don’t-let-anyone-tell-you-otherwise!

It’s not so bad, is it?