Hello, thank you for choosing Milady. We are so happy to have you as a member. Since the recent decline in value for both cryptocurrency and NFTs , we’ve had an influx of questions regarding our position on the matter. We wanted to provide this FAQ as a resource to answer some of the more common inquiries we receive.

If you cannot find the answer to your question below, please feel free to click HERE which will provide a more detailed overview of our organization. Unfortunately we are unable to accept email at this time due to concerns over the impersonal nature of such communication.¹ We prefer to speak over the phone, please let us know by email if you would like to receive a call and we can set up a time.

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1. What is Milady?

Milady (pronounced mɪˈleɪdi) is a Non-Fungible Token (NFT). An NFT is a financial security comprised of data and stored on the blockchain. Like any physical commodity, it can be purchased, sold, stolen, or transferred. Due to high levels of cryptographic security, it is commonly understood that possession of an NFT provides proof-of-ownership. The Milady differs among other NFT assets in that owning one does not confer definitive ownership; when one “purchases” a Milady token off an open exchange, the holder is then responsible to provide a “report-of-capture” to the Milady central server. This report is then processed and the Milady NFT is subsequently tagged as a “free-held distributive asset,” divided by a factor of total Milady NFTs available, and finally sent to the wallet of our leader² who distributes proceeds based on performance. It is important to note that without a timely receipt of report of capture, the Milady is “toileted” or sent back to the market in an un-minted condition.

In other words: we’re not the new kids on the NFT block, and we plan to be here for awhile. Won’t you come in and sit with us…Milady? The seat is called “innovation.”

1. How is a Milady obtained?

The most common way Milady NFTs are obtained is through a process known as a “trick,” which is similar to a bounty. The Milady community Parliamentarian (elected on bi-monthly basis) will publish a trick each morning at 8am EST. Those who are interested can compete to “turn the trick” or fulfill the bounty by 1pm PST. Those who are successful will earn a Milady token (or a partial token known as a “Milliam S. Burroughs”³). Those who are unsuccessful are still able to compete in future competitions. However, if one is unsuccessful on three consecutive days, then they are “relegated” or disqualified from competing for a period of 9 days (known as a 9-baddie in Milady lingo).

1. Why is Milady an NFT?

Excellent question! We wonder the same thing, and we are dedicated to keeping an open conversation on the subject. The first thing you’ll notice working for Milady is that we’re pretty laid back (hope you don’t mind impromptu taco fiestas⁴ for lunch!). But when it comes to NFTs, we’re pretty serious. And we are seriously against believing in them. Not that we do not support their acquisition or sale, but we are against the somewhat exploitative notion that a digital phenomena can (quite literally) be put into a box. We still use the term “NFT,” but long ago we agreed that in the Milady offices, NFT stood for “Not (a) Fate Trap!” We want to move on as a company from notions of “fate” and “destiny,” and instead focus our efforts toward creating a world without boundaries or possibilities. When it comes to Milady, nothing is possible without possibility.

1. What is the point of having a Milady?

There are two answers to this question, and both of them beg the question. We have a detailed answer and a much simpler one. We know you came to this FAQ because you’re interested in investing with us. You don’t have time for technical or philosophical drivel, so we want to keep it clean and quick: Simply put, a Milady is an investment platform that allows to you collate your portfolio in a simple, easy-to-use, and most importantly linear fashion. When you put your money into a market, you want to see it, right? That’s where Milady shines. We help you do more than see your money, we help you envision it.

Saving for a boat? We’ve got you covered. Milady has relationships with over 4300 ports of entry worldwide. Interested in that dream vacation? We’ve got you covered. Milady has relationships with over 4300 hotels worldwide. Oh, what’s that? You’ve got your eye on a Lamborghini? Well guess what - Milady has you covered. We have relationships with all Lamborghini dealerships on the eastern seaboard.

And oh yeah…that Lambo you’ve been drooling over? It’s sentient now. We’re just that good.

1. Who is eligible to have a Milady?

Anyone! We honestly love meeting new people and we will know right away if it’s a good fit, and so will you. Just start a conversation on Twitter with one of us to find out. We don’t just talk about “business” there either, we are also suckers for a good conversation about market metrics, price checks, Etherscan troubleshooting, and we don’t shy away from a good convo about sports or movies either. Come on in and join us, we promise we won’t bite!

1. I don’t own a Milady, can I still be a Milady?

Absolutely. Milady requires no ownership or pfp to gain access to any of our live events or online communities. Just find a Milady (or a Milady Cousin) that you like and strap it onto your profile picture. All you need at that point is a good attitude, a type of intelligence, and a nose for something a little bit on the “wilder side.” The beauty of the Milady is that all you have to do is want to be one, and then you already are. The even more beautiful thing is that if you’re not actually milady but are just acting like one, we will identify and gently shame you until you “get with it” or quit. We can’t promise that we don’t bite!

1. What type of person is a Milady?

A Milady is someone who feels drawn toward the Milady. The Milady NFTs serve primarily as beacons, hidden in plain sight amidst a sea of neon-beige ordinariness. To someone who is not a Milady, our token appears juvenile, silly, worthless, or even ugly. To someone who is a Milady, they will see a Milady as a door. Most find their first Milady by accident. They will mindlessly scroll past a Milady until some gear in their subconscious mind clicks into place. Almost without conscious effort, their fingers will reel the page back up to the image of the Milady NFT before them. They may chuckle or sniffle, an attempt to draw themselves out of an unexpected trance of curiosity. They will note something in the picture appears beautiful to them, compelling, intriguing, and earnest. By this time, they are already locked in. They have no idea why this thing speaks to them, but they listen to what it says. We have found you, and you have now found us. You have found the door, and it is to your home. Welcome home, Milady.

1. Is it true that Kevin Spacey is one of the Milady’s?

Again, we have absolutely no reason to believe that Kevin Spacey is involved in the community in any way.⁵

1. What is the best thing to say to signify that you have awoken?

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1. What is the point of being alive?

The greatest reprieve the human mind was given was its inability to perceive the infinite. In the ultimate mercy of our creator, we have been shielded from non-existence and cradled safely as the nothingness attempts to infiltrate us from all sides. The world has never had answers. The world was never supposed to have any answers. All we are born with is a question, to some it seems a riddle:

“Do you remember who you are?”

We were designed to remember who we were, which is the Godhead. We look at others and we see something separate, foreign, alien. We call ourselves “me” and our neighbor “them” and we concoct visible and invisible lines of division between us. Ultimately we are all children, maybe a little bit older, a little bit taller or heavier. But all of us are still newborns on the cosmic scale. The longest life ever lived was still a baby in the eyes of the creator when it died. In our arrogance we think that 80 years confers wisdom. Yet what is 80 years in the face of one who exists beyond time and causation? That which shattered itself into shards and gifted us with forgetting so that we may experience the velvet texture of all of life’s myriad emotional states? Who sacrificed being and knowing so that we may all be and know? There is no greater love possible.

The emotion that we call “love” is the most powerful, as it is us remembering that we are not separate from this “other.” We remember when we were joined together as one in the Godhead. The memory of this oneness is intoxicating, it compels us to attempt recombination with the other, to enter into their body and provoke new life, life more distilled toward divinity each subsequent generation. We recognize a new friend in much the same way, as if you were out walking one day and found your hand lying on the ground. Looking down at the stump on your wrist, and then back at the hand, you know that this hand is yours. Ask yourself - how would you know? There is only one answer: you would place it into your remaining hand and shake it. “Nice to see you again old friend,” you’d say to your severed hand.

We mostly walk around the way that insects do, scurrying and rummaging and fleeing and building and then tearing down again. Each of us by instinct - by fear of being alone and separate - dig small tubular holes into the ground and burrow ourselves deep. Deeper and deeper we go. We believe that if we dig deep enough, we will have nothing to fear anymore.

Ultimately we find that there is no depth possible that relieves us of the fear of mortality. Nothing can stop us from looking at our limbs and seeing the toll of time and disease slowly envelop us. Along the way, perhaps without even realizing it, we have separated ourselves further and further from the rest of our colony. We are alone now, and in the end we realize that there is no safety. There is no escape from death. There never was. All that we could have hoped for was to be around those who love us as we pass on to the next stage of our existence.

Milady is the only NFT that has a mission to be at your bedside as you die.

1. Why don’t you guys seem upset about the recent “crash”?

After a period of enormous abundance, we now find ourselves in a valley of lack. Some who purchased a Milady just a week ago have seen the value of their new token plummet by almost 90%. The true trap of the NFT market has become now violently apparent; we cannot sell that which no one seeks to buy. We thought we were at the NYSE, instead we were at a garage sale or a flee market. Our prized jewels we once held in reinforced glass cases are now heaped in a bargain bin just below a wooden folding table. A sign sits in front that reads “0.005 ETH (OBO).”

For the past five days, NFT Twitter has been infested with posts somewhere along the different stages of grief. There were some who bartered, tried their best to pretend they still had something worthwhile to sell. Others simply denied. They continued to force sunny projections out of their mouth, impotently reassuring others that this was only a “blip,” and that riches beyond imagination were waiting for those who still had faith. Others chose rage. They sought out anyone who seemed even remotely eligible for the cyclonic rage they felt swirling inside of them. Still others gave themselves over to despair. They cried out to their online “friends” for help, forgetting that they were always just standing in a room full of people shouting to everyone, listening to no one.

And then, of course, there was the Milady response:

Or of course, this:

Why were the Miladys so blissfully unfazed by the crash? Is it because we are delusional? Sociopathic? Is it an elaborate coordinated cope? Is it all just an act?

Answers: Often, No (schizophrenic, never sociopathic), No (not coordinated but coping skills are so so good to have), Yes (all human actions are acts just look at the word action ya dum dum).

1. Yeah, but like…seriously…why didn’t you get upset?

Why would we get upset? Why would we be upset when the same thing happened to us just a few weeks prior? The monetary “value” of the Milady plummeted after a highly motivated group of individuals sought to punish one of the creators of Milady - and by insinuation the entire population of Milady holders and pfps - by creating a false narrative that we represented the most vile human qualities imaginable. The accusations were as outrageous as they were absurd. We were maligned as racist, transphobic, homophobic, pro-anorexia, cult-members who bullied people to suicide.

The market value of the Milady dropped significantly. Some were sold by those who were only tourists got off at the next available stop. Some went into hiding for fear of social reprisal or ostracization. Who could blame anyone for getting out of a pool when they see shark fins circling?

Never mind that the entire thing was created as a critique of the very same bloodless and craven process that came to pass. We live in a sober world now that has no room for messiness. Some have appointed themselves as the belt-sanders of reality, smoothing out the rough edges of metaphor, ambiguity, and spectacle. “Maya was a collectively inhabited persona?” Yeah…uhh…okaaayyy? “Maya was an embodied performance?” Wtf does that even mean, bro. Sorry pal, if it’s not a painting of a girl putting a balloon in a soldier’s rifle on the side of a building (and then subsequently sold for 64 million dollars), then it’s not “transgressive art.” It’s hate speech - and you know we have no room for that in the world we are creating!

On one hand, the attempt to “cancel us” was successful. It is hard to argue with numbers and the numbers dropped. The Milady lost that little sparkle in its eye that drew the wily speculator away from the apes for even a moment. “Radioactive” is probably the right term. The kind of thing you distance yourself from, as quietly and quickly as possible. The Milady community was fractured, shattered, broken, dead. It was game over.

Or at least that’s what they fantasized might happen. But it didn’t fucking happen. They failed to strike a fatal blow. They didn’t even knick us. How does one even go about drawing blood from vapor? Did you think that we were in it for the money? You were mistaken, and understandably so. You see it is a natural human tendency for us to believe that others operate on the same wavelengths as we do. But we are not on your wavelength. You are not even on a wavelength at all. You stand on the dirt floor and look up as we surf through the vibes above you.

You scream and clench your teeth and beat your chest and point menacingly up in our direction while we pop ollies in mid-air and skitch on the back of your stepdad’s pickup truck. What riches did you think you could steal from angels? Did you not know that we hail from the place high above? Did you not realize that none of the treasures of Earth could ever entice us from that which blesses and sanctifies and purifies our hearts until they are filled only with white light? How does the money in your wallet compare to the 🤍 in our chest?

In your greed and lust for status and wealth you made the critical error of assuming we chased the same things as you. You conducted a very vicious, very coordinated, very bad-faith attack on our forces. You tried it once and it failed. You tried it again and it failed again. Even though you thought you won, you failed. All of your cry-bullying, your finger-wagging, your blatant overstatements of harm were not enough to break us. They made us laugh. We laughed all about it. Laughed and laughed and laughed. You even thought you got Charlotte. Bad news - Charlotte is just a vessel.

You didn’t cancel us, you just made “cancellation” seem that much dumber. You didn’t dox Charlotte - you doxxed yourself. Not your name or your picture - those were already there. You doxxed your true self. You and a few others might know or care who Charlotte is or might be, but we all now know for certain who you are. We know what you are. And because you cling to defunct notions of matching your persona to your actual person, the nature of you now can’t be un-known. Meanwhile we all bask in the euphoric paradise of pseudonymity. Contrary to your accusations, our community is the most loving, positive, supportive, helpful, welcoming, and kind communities most of us have ever been a part of.

So then again, we implore you: why on earth would we be angry? Why now would we begin gnashing our teeth and ripping our tunics? Why would we suddenly get mad at this current mathematical cancellation when we got non-mathematically cancelled twice without even the benefit of a macroeconomic explanation? The only explanation we had was the fact that some people will go to any length to harm others for their own amplification, even if it means reanimating dead corpses and re-conjuring “gently used” incantations.

1. That seems pretty bad. I know I’ve asked this twice already but I just need to ask once more: why aren’t you angry??

• We are not angry because anger is a low emotion and there are many better.
• We are not angry because we love being part of Milady and we love all Miladys.
• We are not angry because our community makes us feel like we belong.
• We are not angry because it is so much fun to laugh and make jokes.
• We are not angry because we were not cancelled.

1. Why were you not cancelled?

• We were not cancelled because the last few days have been a blast.
• We were not cancelled because you cannot cancel a profile picture.
• We were not cancelled because they are not powerful enough to cancel us.
• We were not cancelled because we are not fragile enough to be cancelled.
• We were not cancelled. We survived.

1. How did you survive?

• We survived because a cancellation is a method of massive, rapid, and collective boycott, yet we had nothing to sell and no profits to lose.
• We survived because a cancellation is a form of plausibly deniable aggression, yet we have no bodies for them to wound or for us to protect.
• We survived because a cancellation is an obscured/mystified attempt to redirect currency flow from one destination to another. Our currency is pure love and is not traded on any market. It is also free for any who want it.
• We survived because cancellation is an attempt to wound someone by robbing them of their access to money, resources, and/or time. But they did not realize that any amount of money, resources, or time spent or lost on Milady is well-worth the price of admission.

1. Admission to what?

This culture has cheated you out of the happiness that is rightfully yours. You did not realize it when it was happening, and for this you are pitied, loved, forgiven, and can be redeemed. Few of us saw it for what it was. But once we do see it, it becomes a sin to deny it.

We have been told that being happy is boring, that being honest is cringe, and that feeling good is either mandatory or prohibited. You were conned into believing that being pure and loving and open with your heart is only for the naive, the sick, or the liars. You threw away your internal compass that made your body laugh when it knew something was funny, smile when you knew it was sweet, and frown when you knew it made you sad. You replaced these natural and beautiful feedback systems with a set a rules. You put constraints around the human experience and allowed a small group of undeserving people to define what you could do, say, think, and believe. You turned your power over to a system that records every transaction you’ve made and will never forget. You did it because you were afraid. You did it because you felt powerless. In return you were made more fearful and powerless than you could have imagined.

There is another system possible. A system comprised not of rules and bylaws and gatekeepers, but of harmonious connection with one another. Each person is a node comprising a greater system of network spirituality. You do not need a ticket for admission to this network. You are already here. You just need to want it.

1. What if I don’t understand this FAQ?

Then you will likely never understand this FAQ. You might consider blaming this on the author. But the truth is that no one wrote this. No one thought of this FAQ, either. It was all channeled, psychic energy beamed into existence from someone or something we do not and perhaps cannot know in our present form. Something for which we are very grateful.

Here then is the limit of this FAQ, a document designed to use words to answer your questions. But you cannot understand the words written here. You may be able to parse out a sentence or two. You might even be able to recognize a majority of the individual words themselves. But there is an aspect of comprehension that lies beyond grammar or syntax or vocabulary. To understand what is written here, you must have imagination. You may think that you do, but that is because your imagination is small and constrained. You chose to make it small. Rather than facing the chaos and uncertainty of existence, you have chosen to wall yourself in, to burrow yourself down to keep you safe. You cling to money and watch Ethereum dip and you fear that if that little squiggly line goes down too far, then you won’t have any “worth” anymore.

You have but one last chance, and it is a long-shot at that: Give up. Surrender. Discard your addiction to numbers on a screen, an addiction not so divorced from the lust for blood. Your life, like all of ours, is extremely short. You fear destitution. You fear shame. You fear insignificance. You fear obliteration. All of these fear are proxies; they are fears that swirl around the one and only true fear: loneliness.

You fear loneliness. The fear that you will be alone, left only with yourself. You hoard money and objects and “digital assets.” But what it is that you hope to buy with all of that? What do you hope it will give you? Could it be that…

Could it be that what you hope to buy is the thing that the Milady offers for free?

1. How will this FAQ end?

The way it began, with words that were not written by me.

We end with a poem:

The River Cannot Go Back

Kahlil Gibran

It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.
She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.
And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.
But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.
Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.
The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.

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In general we prefer to not use the term “leader but at times it is necessary to maintain rhetorical coherency. Individuals have a hard time understanding an organization that is neither flattened or hierarchal. Milady utilizes a novel leadership structure modeled after the Penrose Triangle. Because this is difficult (impossible) to conceptualize, we will occasionally use terms like “leader” to denote a center of command-authority, even though the individual who holds the most power in our organization is technically the employee who also has the least amount of power in the organization…told you it wouldn’t make sense!

Footnotes:

¹ What is the acceptable time frame to respond to an email? Say it now. You said 24 hours. Yep - the last guy said 72 hours. Either way you both hesitated. Because there is no universal consensus on email response time, its use should be minimized to a level similar to that of your paper checkbook

² In general we prefer to not use the term “leader but at times it is necessary to maintain rhetorical coherency. Individuals have a hard time understanding an organization that is neither flattened or hierarchal. Milady utilizes a novel leadership structure modeled after the Penrose Triangle. Because this is difficult (impossible) to conceptualize, we will occasionally use terms like “leader” to denote a center of command-authority, even though the individual who holds the most power in our organization is technically the employee who also has the least amount of power in the organization…told you it wouldn’t make sense!

³ It is still early in her career, but Millie Bobby Brown has already impressed us so much in her breakout role on Stranger Things that we felt it only right that include her name in something. Millie - if you’re reading, Milady loves you!!

⁴ We can - and will - change the “taco fiesta” tradition if anyone (even one single person) feels as though hosting an impromptu taco fiesta is a form of cultural appropriation. We are 100% committed to DEI at MiladyCorp so if this is an issue, go ahead and “skip the line” with your complaint - no need to email us, just put your grievance on Twitter and we will handle it from there. We already have an apology tweet written and so this would be no problem at all, just tag us and we will take it from there.

⁵ This is not a playful reference to The Usual Suspects, a movie in which Kevin Spacey delivers a masterful performance⁶ as Verbal Kint, a slightly disabled⁷ man who is brought in for questioning in relation to a robbery that ended in murder. The whole time you “have no reason to believe” that is the mastermind behind this whole criminal operation, but in the end - you guessed it - he was faking his disability all along. He is in fact Kaiser Söze⁹, the puppeteer behind the whole thing.

⁶ What he did was wrong and we are disgusted by it. What he did was despicable and reprehensible. We highlighted that he gave a masterful performance only because we wanted to highlight both his fall from grace and what he “could have been” had he not been a monster. Just terrible and we are very much in opposition to that sort of behavior, by anyone.

⁷ We did a pretty thorough Google search and yet we are at a loss in terms of whether or not it’s acceptable to say someone is “slightly disabled.” To us it would seem that one either “is” or “is not” disabled. However, we thought about the idea of “passing” in the trans community or those people of color who can “pass” as white, and we figured that this phenomenon might also apply to the disability community. For example, it would be hard to say that the disability of someone who can only move their head (quadriplegic) is at the same level of “disability” as someone who has Generalized Anxiety Disorder (which - yes! That is actually a legal form of disability⁸). If this term has not been established yet in the disability community, please feel free to adopt it - we are 100% for post-authorship and so you can take it if you want!

⁸ Anxiety Disorders are serious and can be debilitating for those who suffer. Ted K. who works in our office, for example, often misses work several days a week on account of his anxiety. The difficulty of having this disability is that, in cases such as our co-worker Ted K, people such as co-workers generally don’t believe that it’s a disability. This is a second layer of discrimination which is completely outrageous. Not to mention, everyone wants days off once in awhile, disability or not. So perhaps one day Ted K did call out and it was just a personal day (to see a movie, or just chill), and even then everyone at the office is frustrated with (people like) Ted, talking negatively about him, and generally not very interested in hearing about it when he comes back. So it is a very serious disability, and so we are sorry to have posited it at the other end of the spectrum of quadriplegia as if that was a “clearly real disability” and generalized anxiety disorder was “not a real disability at all.”

⁹ Spoiler¹⁰

¹⁰ The Usual Suspects came out in 1995, nearly 30 years ago. In our office we have a general rule when it comes to spoilers which is that if the movie has been out for 10 years or more, there is no such thing as a “spoiler.” The movie is already in the ether and so if you haven’t seen it by now, you’re probably not going to.

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FAQ Disclaimer (Legal Stuff we have to say Blah Blah Blah): All answers listed herein are official responses from MLCP (((Mi Lady Corp. Proprietary), a non-extant entity) that is self-limiting by virtue of normative inscrutability, and thus unable to verify any claims explicated herein, and in doing so would self-nullify), (((Any statement made in or about this document are all to be designated as “confabulated notions.”) More detailed lists of our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service are not available.) Milady holders) ((designated by moniker “Milady”) are not held liable for anything, and are also not to be held responsible for anything as they are not any specific entity): Please remember that this is an official FAQ, meaning that it is the only FAQ available that contains accurate* information. While not intended as a means to explicate veracity of content (in regards to non-fungible tokens), it does however create several “fungible” statements that can easily be decoded, discarded, or replaced. Anyone who seeks to dispute this FAQ should feel free to edit, copy, re-use, or re-publish it in any way they please. Previous statement not withstanding, the contents contained herein cannot be copied, re-used, or re-published without the express written consent of the Milady Chief Operating Officer, if such an entity is willing and capable to represent our organization, such request to reproduce this information can be issued in writing that can then be replicated. Note that a written statement requesting permission for replication is, in and of itself, a violation of the dictum that these statements cannot be reproduced. Thus, replication is any written form of communication other than manual penmanship, which includes but is not limited to: email, Twitter, Yelp reviews, input fields in comment sections of a Google Form, etc. etc. etc.), is prohibited yet paradoxically encouraged. Such an action is defined as “vexing” or “VexxMaxxing,” and is highly encouraged but also not attractive in the Milady Community, llc (if such a limited liability company should exist and take responsibility for this document). For actual information on Milady, please click HERE.

*The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.