Why are we always afraid that it will be too late
- Ability and ambition do not match
Maybe you are an ambitious person, maybe you have many big dreams, you even dream of changing the world, or changing the way people think and behave. If you start a business in the Internet field, maybe you want to start a company that beats BAT; if you are a literary and artistic worker, maybe you want the world to see your work, hear your voice, appreciate your paintings, and understand your Text; if you're a fresh graduate, you want to shine in the workplace.
However, the ideal is very plump, the reality is very skinny. Your dreams are lofty, but your abilities and ambitions do not match. If this is the case, then it is better to cut the big dreams into staged goals, break them one by one, and realize them one by one. With the hard work and struggle of stage after stage, let yourself get closer and closer to the original dream, the final Target. At the same time, examine your strengths and weaknesses, maximize your strengths, and make up for your weaknesses, until your abilities match your ambitions.
- Too little reading, too little experience, too much thinking
Have you ever thought that your fear is because you read too little, but think too much?
Due to various constraints of time, space, economic conditions and social resources, the world and scenery that each of us sees is limited, and the world we have seen is limited, so we are ignorant and narrow-minded. It is a kind of eternity to think that the immediate difficulties and desperation are insurmountable gaps. Until reality tells us that all problems will eventually be time problems, and all troubles will eventually be self-inflicted troubles. When you were in your 20s, you felt that you were worthless and worthless, but have you ever thought about the people you admired in their 30s and 40s with successful careers and happy families, they also passed from their 20s when they had nothing. And your 20-year-old is just a path that you must experience in your life journey.
So, instead of looking for troubles, it is better to read more books and go out to see the world, maybe you will find a different dimension. For example, you are very distressed that you only have a salary of 3,000 yuan a month, and you can't do anything after paying the rent after eating. However, when you go to Africa, where the soil is poor and poor and backward, when you see those children even Are you still so miserable and struggling with the current economic dilemma when a comfortable bath and a hearty meal are all a wish? When you know that poor and ruined Nepal, a small country in the mountainous interior of South Asia, has the reputation of "one of the happiest countries in the world", where people live a simple and contented life, will you learn from another A perspective to look at your own life and life? Do you feel that material poverty is not the source of our suffering, but desire and comparison?
- Want too much, desire too much, do too little
You want too much, but you do too little. You want to be like the protagonist of the event "The world is so big, I want to see it", with the dashing and decisiveness to bravely see the world, and you want to be like a diaosi who counterattacks on the stage and become the general manager in minutes. A manager, becoming a CEO, marrying Bai Fumei, and turning into a winner in life, you want everything, so you get nothing.
From 0 to 1 is a quantitative change as well as a qualitative change. It is impossible for you to jump steps and get the desired result directly, because you are not a god, because your life has no special effects and plug-ins. It is impossible for you to be in your 20s young, thinking about comfort and ease, and carrying a dream of inspirational struggle? Do nothing to be a winner in life? You think so beautifully, do you think you are Wang Sicong? And even if it is Wang Sicong, in addition to his sharp words to attract attention, has he done anything that is eye-catching by virtue of his personal strength? If you say yes, then I'm sorry, I'm too ignorant. If you say that he has money and status so that he doesn't have to rely on his strength to prove himself, then very good, I don't think we are the same kind of people, this article probably won't appeal to you, you don't need to read any more.
Desire is originally a blank piece of paper. There is no right or wrong in itself, nor does it know how to distinguish between right and wrong. It is the choices and actions that people make driven by desire that make desires stained with different colors and have different definitions. So, there is nothing wrong with you wanting a lot of things. As long as your "desire" does not violate morality and laws, and does not violate the rights of others to live, then go after what you want. Do you want too much? Material, money, love, you all want, it doesn't matter, take your time, exchange your efforts for success in career, love, and life, until you slowly get everything you want. Even if you don't get everything you want, it doesn't matter. The journey of life is destined to be imperfect and perfect. There will be some regrets and some unwillingness. All we can do is to do our best in our limited time to make life what we like, and get closer to what we like. That's enough.
- Too much backward, afraid of not being able to catch up with peers
In this world, there are mountains outside the mountains, and there are people outside the people. The world we live in, and the surroundings where we live, there are too many god-like characters. Maybe you think it's unfair, why some people are talented and smart, and they are admitted to the world's top schools at a young age, why some people are born with a golden spoon in their hands, and have no worries about food and clothing, why some people obviously go to the same school as themselves, eat the same A cafeteria just kills you several ranks in terms of ability and talent? You can't figure it out, and it feels even more unfair. You are anxious, you are afraid, you are afraid that you will never catch up with them.
And what I want to say is that the race of life is inherently unfair, the starting point and the ending point are not fair, you can't choose what kind of family you come from, you can't choose your appearance and talent, and more I can't choose what time node, what kind of situation and atmosphere I will leave this world in. There's nothing to complain about something that's doomed to be unfair, because it's useless to complain. Could it be that you commit suicide right now and exchange reincarnation for a better life?
As for falling behind, it's not too bad when you think about it. Don't you want to go down and up, and enjoy the thrill of going from being behind the others and becoming a famous KO opponent? A life that is too simple is like a game that is too simple, not fun at all. What's the point of defeating a few shrimp soldiers and crabs, and it's a little interesting to kill the big BOSS.
It is better to retreat and make a net than to envy the fish in the abyss. Instead of being trapped in the "sense of gap" brought about by the huge gap with the great people around you, it is better to accumulate your own energy quietly until your ability bursts into a dazzling light and is seen by the whole world.
- There is no goal at all, and I don’t know what I want
There are a lot of confused 20-somethings who are experiencing annoying fears because they haven't figured out what they want. They don't want to follow the crowd and live an arranged life, but they don't know what they want, and they don't even have the blood and motivation to fight against fate.
If you don't have a goal, find a goal. If you don't know what you want, try to figure out what you really want. If you really don't know where to start, then you might as well seek advice from someone who has more life experience and seniority than you, but who won't rely on the old to sell the old. If there is no such person around you, then you might as well try to stay away from the noisy world around you, think quietly, calm down, and I think you will always find something. If you still don't know where to start, why not start thinking about your personality, interests and hobbies? Think about what you like and are good at, or have a pleasant surprise. I graduated from high school myself, but after graduation I went to a furniture company to work as a PMC. When I graduated, I didn't know what I wanted to do at first. Later, after thinking about it for a long time, I found that I have always liked thinking, writing, and those Subtle things!
- I worked hard, but I couldn't see the effect, and I became more and more at a loss
Some friends privately messaged me or sent emails to chat with me. They said that they couldn’t see the results after working hard, so they became more and more at a loss, and they just gave up. In this regard, I just want to say that you will not succeed if you work hard, but you will not succeed if you don't work hard. After working hard, you can still see some pictures of the future, or step into the threshold of success with half a foot. If you don't work hard, you may not even see the shadow of success.
When most people work hard, they do not know and are not sure when they will succeed, so what they can do is to keep working hard and be excellent. Let me tell you a story we have all heard since childhood. Edison invented the electric light bulb and did more than 1,500 experiments without finding any suitable material for electric filament. Some people laughed at him and said, "Mr. Edison, you have failed more than 1,500 times. Do you want to continue?" Guess how Edison answered, he said: "No, I didn't fail. My achievement is to discover that more than 1,500 kinds of materials are not suitable for the filament of electric light." Filament works best. It was not until 1906 that Edison switched to tungsten wire, which improved the quality of the light bulb, which has been used to this day. Success sometimes requires trial and error. To put it more bluntly, failure is success. Let's talk about a singer that everyone likes recently - Li Ronghao, from behind the stage to the front, from an obscure producer to a popular pop singer, he has been gone for ten years. If he gave up in fear of difficulties, then he would not be where he is today, and there would be no "Li Bai", "Model", "Old Street" and "Too Candid" that we like.
Instead of being dazed and depressed, it is better to regard the failure in front of you as a kind of experience, as a stepping stone to success. Accumulate experience in failure, seek new methods and secrets in failure, as long as you keep persevering, I think you will succeed in the end. The reason why you haven't succeeded may be precisely because you haven't done enough, you haven't done well enough.