So here I am, on the run again, my life taking another inexplicable turn. I've witnessed firsthand how the line between order and chaos is fragile and easily broken. In a blink, you're stripped of your power, and the world as you knew it crumbles.

Carrying my Russian passport like a cursed talisman, I couldn't stay in Ukraine. Some people grew accustomed to the constant fear, the sound of sirens, and the knowledge that death could come hurtling from the sky. But for me, it was a reminder of the underlying fear that had haunted me for years.

As I left, it hit me that this fear had been with me far longer than I realized. The fear of my own government, even as I lived outside its borders, even as a victim of its tyranny. There was a suffocating sensation, like a vice around my throat, preventing me from speaking my truth, sharing my experiences and the scars they left, all because of the ever-present threat of retribution. But rockets, they're very real, and they serve as a brutal reminder of how easily order can turn to chaos, and how the rules we abide by can change in an instant.

Fear is a ubiquitous and insidious force, and its roots can be traced back to the Soviet Union and Russia in particular. It infects the psyche of the masses, often unbeknownst to them, festering like a malignant tumor in the depths of the subconscious. Despite my long sojourn in London and my quest for spiritual enlightenment, which included the rigors of Vipassana and the wonders of psychedelics, I was still unable to confront the terror within and begin the journey towards true liberation.

Man, I had to totally reprogram myself to not fear the pigs bustin' down my door just 'cause I was gettin' high in my own damn house. It was like, a whole different set of rules in this society, man. But even after all that work, that fear was still there, like, deeply rooted in my soul, ya dig?

But then, on February 24th, I made a vow to myself, man. A vow that I wouldn't be scared no more, that I'd speak my truth and tell my story, no matter what. 'Cause there's other cats out there, other families like mine, who went through the same shit. But you don't hear much about it, man. Ain't no one willing to spit the real truth, the whole truth, ya know? About how the government screwed us and we had to fight just to survive.