“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
I recently had my first psychedelic experience with the Grandfather plant, San Pedro, at The Lighthouse Retreat.
2 trips in 4 days let me ‘saw’ the themes constantly haunted my mind: time, space, reality and dream. We all know language could be limited when you try to describe something overpowering magnificent. Here is my attempt to describe those visions and insights:
Eighty-four thousand thoughts and ideas,
Landscape transformation in the whirligig of time,
Everything is evolving and decaying in front of my eyes.
Vivid Colours dancing along with the music of nature,
Infinite fractals emerging and disappearing like the Mandelbrot set and Mandala of Sanskrit.
Van Gogh’s painting in a tangible form.
Ram Dass’s message comes into my mind,
“We’re all just walking each other home”.
We are nameless and formless,
We are a pixel and we are a Buddha,
Was vernünftig ist, das ist wirklich,
We’re loved just for being who we are, just for existing.
Let’s accept ourselves and others in full,
Try not to control, try not to force, try to surrender to the power of the universe.
Time and space are a total illusion.
The reality doesn’t seem like what we see.
To see beauty, use our heart, not our eyes.
Feel, and we shall know.
Seek, and we shall find.
I rise above the earth and travel through abstract concepts and patterns.
A snap of the finger is the moment of eternity.
I could have lived forever in that dazzling and wonderful dream,
But your sweet smile pulls me back to the material world.
Life is the eighth wonder.
When we genuinely want something,
The whole universe is always on our side.
P.S. My teacher Isher at the retreat centre gave me the nickname “Zen Master” because I could sit on the platform for hours, calm and still. He mentioned my peaceful energy would help to balance unstable emotions from others.
Apart from the above experience, I do fully echo with what Steve Jobs once said, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future”.
Everything that happened in my life has already connected in a beautiful circle. What I need to do is just follow my intuition and walk through the journey with love. Thanks to Grandpa San Pedro. See you soon, Grandma Ayahuasca!
P.P.S. I was astonished when I found Mandala flowers at the retreat centre! When I studied Buddhism at an early age, I named myself Mandala, and after two decades, I finally met ‘myself’ again.