It was August 24th, 2010.

My brother returned home with a devastating news about the passing of a creator very dear to my heart: generational talent Satoshi Kon was dead at the prime age of 46. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the midst of making his fifth film, Dreaming Machine. Sadly, it is known today as his unfinished film.

I thought back how I first encountered Kon's Work. My brother worked at Madhouse and he would often bring me anime DVDs produced by the studio artists. One of the DVDs was Perfect Blue. I had never heard of it, nor did I have any clues about its director. Eighty one minutes later, I was overwhelmed with emotions I had never experienced before after watching it.

Perfect Blue shattered my understanding and perception of anime storytelling. His film was visually so different, the way the story progressed was so unorthodox than any other anime I had seen. The narrative experience felt closer to watching a live action independent film like Memento by Christopher Nolan, but as an anime. That was the moment I knew I was touched by Satoshi.

I immediately sought out and watched Millennium Actress, Tokyo Godfather and soon after Paprika, the anime adaptation based on a novel by Yasutaka Tsutsui. The latter is set in a not-so-distant future where a device is invented that allows a person to enter another person’s dreams and explore their unconscious thoughts. It was a perfect marriage between the source material and the artist.

I recognized a certain pattern in his films. Kon tends to explore themes of identity, illusion, memory and dreams -- and the blurring edges separating them. Only Satoshi can deliver what his films were created to deliver. Why was I so attracted to his films?

I've been always fascinated with the human ability to imagine and travel to multiple worlds within the mind and explore different facets of themselves. Maybe my obsession comes from the fact that my real life has taken place in multiple countries, cities, languages, and cultures, oftentimes leading me to question my true identity, or I shall say, identities.

Subconsciously, I might have experienced the analog style multiverse. On the Internet, this scenario goes exponential, ever close to Satoshi Kon’s nested realities.

He had made just four feature films that touched the lives of millions, solidifying him as a legendary storyteller, mangaka, and animator. His influence extends beyond Japan: his films have been cited as an inspiration for Hollywood hits like Black Swan and Inception. Darren Aronofsky, Guillermo Del Toro and many other A-list creators have publicly acknowledged their admiration for Kon's work. He remains one of the most-lauded creators of Japanese animation, a director who is often mentioned in the same breath as Hayao Miyazaki and Otomo.

As his last communication to the public, he wrote a heart-aching blog post, chronicling his journey from the moment he and his wife learned about his condition until his last words: “Now excuse me, I have to go. (じゃ、お先に。)”

In the blog, Kon expressed a great deal of concern about his unfinished work. “My biggest regret is the film Dreaming Machine. I'm worried not only about the film itself, but about the staff with whom I was able to work with on the film”.

"Don't worry. We'll figure out something, so don't worry." These were the words shared by Masao Maruyama, a father figure, long time friend and the producer who discovered and gave Satoshi his debut as a director. Known to many as Maruyama-san, he is a pioneer who has spanned most of the history of the Japanese animation business since its early days, and has been involved in the forefront for over 50 years. He has collaborated with many of the biggest names in Japanese animation, discovered many talented creators, established several animation production companies, worked on dozens of series and films, and in doing so, his credits span virtually the entire modern anime industry.

I was fortunate to meet Maruyama-san on a few occasions. The first thing I learned was that he was a gourmand and a foodie. I remember my brother sharing about Maruyama-san’s wishes and requests for certain gourmet food experiences during their travels. I was lucky to accompany them on some and share our passion for gourmet food.

I haven’t seen Maruyama-san since Kon’s passing. For all these years, he would show up in my streams of consciousness from time to time. I never placed much thought on it but he certainly left me with a permanent impression of his character. He is 80 today and from what I last heard, he’s still actively producing films and nurturing talents.

Who would have imagined that our paths would cross again - and as fate would have it, the event is a project associated with Satoshi Kon?

It’s not Dreaming Machine but it is another unfinished project from Kon.

In the next post, I will reveal the name of the project and the reasons why I consider it an opportunity - my calling, in fact - to make contributions to both Maruyama-san and Satoshi Kon’s legacies.

Here’s Part 2:

For those unfamiliar with or light on information about Satoshi Kon, I highly recommend watching this 53-minute retrospective on Satoshi Kon's career, life and the biggest problem that came from that. My special thanks to STEVEM for having created this short documentary. I just joined his Patreon and would invite my readers to check his passionate works and subscribe his youtube channel.