- my personal regeneration journey

Lately, I am getting feedback from my peers that they are moved by my story, when I tell it. So, I decided to put it on paper and share it with my network. This is my personal story on how I got greenpilled.

I started studying law 21 years ago. I followed the traditional academic path of going from high school somewhere, where I could be accommodated with the tools helping to survive in our society. That meant for me a place, which could bring me money, status and safety.

So a law school was a natural choice, as I was drawn towards humanities studies. And it was approved by my family, probably because it brought a sense of prestige. When I entered the law school I was untouched by how the society, the law and the economy system works. Honestly, I was also quite uninterested about these things. I remember that I was just enjoying the fact that I am doing something worthwhile in other people’s eyes.

Later on I found myself a girlfriend which was beyond beautiful and I began my journey towards adulthood. I particularly remember one day when I drove with my old Volkswagen Golf to a dormitory where my girl lived. I stopped the car before the building and was just sitting there for a while, feeling all the happiness in the world. I felt like I accomplished everything there was for me to do. I had a girl of my dreams, I got accepted to a prestigious university and I was free to do anything I wanted. At the same time I knew that from this point onwards things could only get worse. And I was right.

A few years later, after a not so nice breakup and several work experiences, which stole most of my idealism about justice and life, my core values got shaken and I started questioning the sources of my happiness – environments and activities I was part of. I was in Luxembourg at the time, working for the European Investment Bank, a place, which was secretly called “The Institution” or “The Golden Cage”. A place which offered everything that one could think of through the lenses of the values of our society: Good money, a position of a high status and a sense of safety. And also a raising feeling of disconnection, despair and apathy. I clearly felt I was slowly but surely dying inside at that place.

I needed a change and I started experimenting. I got into questionable sexual adventures, started trading on cryptocurrency markets and looked deeper into how our money and banking system works. I also set myself a few goals to accomplish. I wanted to make 1 million dollars and be part of an anarcho-capitalist movement, which at the time sprouted out of the crypto scene, as a reaction to the mainstream banking system. I managed both but it did not make me happy at all. I felt like I was stuck in an unending wheel of trying to accomplish things I did not really care about, and which only brought me tons of toxicity and negativity.

I knew I had to do something to turn my life around. I started meditating, went to a pilgrimage and got interested in permaculture. Non of these things really worked for me in the beginning, or at least not in a way I was hoping for. Now I see it was because I approached it with my old mindset – with a workoholic attitude and a lack of patience – something in which I was very well trained during my previous life journey.

I also started looking for alternative societies and environments, mainly in permaculture and eco-village projects. I was hoping to find people with whom I would not feel as an outcast and like a complete Martian. I was in projects in Tenerife and later on in Portugal. Honestly, most of the people I met there struggled with the same negative mindsets as people in the mainstream society. They were fighting the system, struggling with their relationships or with themselves. They were not happy and well.

I was giving up as I did not see any more options I could try. At my lowest point, someone told me about a project called the Traditional Dream Factory in Alentejo, Portugal. So I went there to try one more time. And I got lucky. I met a group of people, who decided to take a break from their lives and try to build up an alternative. Though these people were successful in their previous careers, they still felt like a change needed to be made. When I listened to their stories, it resembled mine to the point. I found my tribe.

So I spent some time in the Traditional Dream Factory, tending to a permaculture garden, cooking and eating together with others, exercising, building up a community, sharing, having fun, and also getting back to lawyering, something I thought I would leave for good. The green pill that saved me at that time was a supportive environment comprising of nature and a community of easy-going, non-judgmental, welcoming people.

And it got me onto a new journey of my life. I do not fight the system anymore, I am not trying to change it, nor I am trying to just survive in it. I try to live in a way that is natural and authentic for me. With people and environments that resonate. With values that are in a complete contradiction to what our society is teaching us nowadays:

Instead of fast, I am going slow.

Instead of extraction, I am into cooperation and co-creation.

Instead of anger, fear and apathy, I welcome empathy, ease and a sense of connection.