Hearing what someone is saying is not very difficult.

Understanding the silent message in their voice can take years to sink in.

In 2018, we travelled to Kyoto Japan as part of our family Nippon trip. Why I am sharing this story right now is because on that trip I literally stumbled upon a small treasure in the deep back streets of Kyoto. While the rest of the family was strolling around in Kimono’s, I was trailing behind with all of the bags and filming the traditional clothing experience that is now hanging proudly in our hallway of memories.

I had reached a point where where I was done dragging stuff around, because I was looking for something for myself to counter the lack of kimono and a still hunger for something traditional for my own.

I was looking for a BIG BRUSH to make the BIG BRUSH ENSO drawings. You know… the big circular ink drawings that happen in 2 seconds? Signifying the moment of creation IN that moment. Ar that time I was all about finding one of those brushes and cutting loose on paper. Making big circles sounded like the thing I should be doing.

In a moment of frustration I looked on Tripadvisor to find the best place within a 500 meter radius of where we were walking. This is when I was directed to the brush and pigment studio of Saiun-do. Little did I know this shop was the real deal. Not just a place to buy brushes. There are many of those in Kyoto.

I directed the Kimono family GLuijer to the little shop of brushes and was instantly drawn in by all the little drawers and overloaded shelves, promising great NiHonga style artworks. If there is a Birthplace of the Japanse Brush… this would most definitely be one of its wombs.

I was met by a Japanese lady of undefined age who spoke no other tongue than here own. Looking around in the small 15m2 space my eyes were instantly drawn to the biggest brush hanging high…far away from prying eyes. It was wrapped in plastic and beaconing me to take it with me.

This is when IT happend…

I indicated my interest to the lady of the store by pointing to the king of brushes. She looked at me. She looked back at the brush and with her deafening small voice and one finger waving from left to right she said: “NOT…FOR YOU”… NOT…FOR YOU… MASTER!”.

I instantly knew that I was put in my place. I was not worthy of the brush I was pointing at. The brush her father made for Masters Artists only. I was disappointed and humbled at the same time and reacted by deflecting to the first brushes she recommended for my Novice state of being.

I ended up spending an insane amount of YENs on the brushes that fit my station & stature, leaving me wondering what I would have had to put down for the black king brush… my soul?

2,5 years later that experience created a barrier I did not realise at the time. In order to become worthy of the big brush, I had to create a path to its use that was not bound to just making big circles on a piece of paper. I created a barrier that banned me from using the brushes I bought, because I wanted to use them for the right reasons. Now that I know what those are(…wink wink), I can pick up the brush and jump into the fires of my own development… becoming a linemaster is not something you say… it is something you do…and do …. and do again.

I looked online and found the name of my silent teacher. Ms Fujimoto.

I thank you Ms. Fujimoto. I will do my best to make you proud and will return when I am ready!

Arigato gozaimasu!