lane riley
January 9th, 2022


I am always introspecting

sitting with the part of me that is looking for a corner to cut

the lazy part

the part of me that is used to handouts

I am Being forced to sit with that part of my artistry / mySelf

my Saturn return is breathing down my neck n I want to get rid of everything

is there a way to Be nakeder?

it feels like the other side of this is so powerful

I am a lil scared of mySelf

I have so many resources so much help so many safety nets
there are multiple hands outstretched when I ask

am I focusing on the ways that I have victimized mySelf?

why am I afraid of my own success? n others Seeing it?

who made me that way?

how do I See this from a Higher vantage point?

can I?

do I want to badly enough? & for the “right” reasons?

all of it is performance

I didnt realize how angry I have Been about the last 3 years

leaning into my gifts has turned my Life upside down

my conscious evolution alongside / within(?) web3 is something so overwhelming it makes me want to break things

I think the grief of the awareness of so much possibility is consuming me

Time wasted on anything but Love confuses me

why do I want to understand?

how do I focus my awareness on the future without Becoming disemBodied?

how do I build in hyperspeed without neglecting the people still back on Earth?

is it my responsibility to care?

why does the rejection hurt so much if I Know my Heart?

if I Know the contents are gilded?

how do I continue to align with others when we all have the same trigger finger(s)?

everyBody is jus trying to Be the first one out the door

climbing over each other

its all Become a game

somewhere along the way I guess I consented to play


I am revoking consent from the competitive cycles

I jus want to exist

to create

to Love n to Be Loved!

not fight

I cant keep fighting people who do not want to find peace

I find mySelf meeting others on Timelines of chaos because I can

what kind of reverse saviorism is that? sacrificing yourSelf so others dont feel a way?

I leave it all on the page

on the blockchain

writing all my pain

transmuting alchemical potential

creating more space for Living

in reverence to Dying

I am bowing to the consequential nature of Time

in Real Time

I am anciently futuristic

as I create in Service to Life

in Service to the God(dess) I See

my energy returns back to me

from across all space & Time

I call the pieces of me back to me

my breath covers me


I am


I am

dear 33 year old Self

we did it

in gratitude,


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