2025 AD. Crypto is dead.

As the dust settles, what went wrong?

Let us look to the wise men and women of our ecosystem, I speak of course of Twitter Key Opinion Leaders, for answers:

• parasitic L2s take revenue away from mainnet

• tokens with no reason to exist bleed retail dry

• we voted for orange and must repent for our sins

• the airdrop meta is cooked

Time to reflect on these mistakes then. Adapt. Build better.

…

OK.

Lesson learned.

Now announcing:

A New Orange Token On ZkSync Era

It’s an airdrop too, of course.

Congratulations. You are eligible for this airdrop.

Either because:

• you have used the contracts ZOMBO, redZOMBO, or Contributors, before the 13th of March 2025.

or

• you will post your zkSync (Ethereum) ((EVM)) address in reply to the tweet below.

                                                                 [click me]

Feel free to combine 1 and 2 for double the airdrop. What’s better than one valueless token? Twice the zero.

Each Twitter submission will be judged impartially by a bespoke AI model. The robot crawls through your profile history, decides whether you would be a Good Token Holder, then ACCEPTS or REJECTS your submission. There is no appeal. Only the machine god.

*machine god may or may not be just a guy filtering spammers

Rejoice, Believers, For The Day Of Harvest Is Upon Us

20 March 2025.

Mark it on your calendar, or don’t.

Tokens will be sent to your wallet. No claim required.

Gives you all the more time to dig into the most important aspect of any token:

TOKENOMICS

LYAA has a fixed supply of 400,000,000 tokens. They will be split as follow:

- 96,000,000 (24%) go to the LOIYAA Foundation.

The LOIYAA Foundation aims to promote the LOIYAA ecosystem by selling tokens at market peaks.

- 176,000,000 (44%) will be used as Protocol-Owned Liquidity on Uniswap v3.

Said POL will use patented anti-dump technology known as onesided orders. Can’t dump tokens if there’s no ETH to sell them for.

- 128,000,000 (32%) are to fuel the Eternal Airdrop.

Folks, we will make airdrops strong again. We will make you proud to get an airdrop. We’re going to airdrop so much, you may even get tired of airdrops.

Here’s how it works.

Every 64 days, or more if he takes a nap, a gremlin named Zeno wakes up. He scutters to the treasury and picks up a twentieth, no more, no less, of what remains. Then he mans his hot balloon, and disperses the goods to anyone who qualifies.

Because we only use a part of the remainder everytime, we can airdrop forever. Wow. Math is amazing. Someone better tell all the VCs who insist projects need to have inflation. They’d be chuffed to hear the news.

Bottomline: 6,400,000 tokens will be airdropped next week.

Half go to past users. Half go to those who tweet. All shall know glory.

Q&A

a) what is the purpose of the token?

There is no purpose. I love you.

b) why would I buy your token?

I’m not asking you to buy it. I’m telling you to get it for free.

c) but seriously tho

This could be the chance for you to get at ground level of something most people will dismiss because it’s ridiculous. What if this turns out to be the next Uniswap? Do you want to have to look at little Timmy, 10 years down the line, and tell him you fumbled the free bag because the elephant man looked funny? Do you?

Alternatively, if you want serious, consider the following problem.

You are browsing Twitter when you notice an out-of-control shitcoin influencer barreling down the timeline. Ahead on the timeline are five people who cannot stop doomscrolling and will buy the scam if they see this influencer’s post.You are standing next to the Twitter admin console. If you activate the console, the algo will switch to a different pattern. It will send the shitcoin influencer to another innocent account.

You have two options:

1. Do nothing, allowing the shitcoiner to kill the portfolio of five people.

2. Trigger the console, diverting the shitcoiner to a different algo where it will kill the portfolio of one person.

What is the morally correct action? Should you trigger the console, actively causing one portfolio's death but saving five? Or should you refrain from intervening, thereby not directly causing anyone monetary distress, though five people will have to work at McDonalds as a result of your inaction?

d) uhhhh…

Glad we agree.

e) can you give me the contract addresses?

Mainnet = 0xe2E252cd7B04449Eb516975D02D5ac23A14B5064

zkSync Era = 0x72fedfaa37680a479a2e4c482082ebe3ff7d0826

Only one more thing for you to do:

GO POST YOUR EVM ADDRESS ON TWITTER.