St. Louis! Read on for my reflections on Love and Adultery… this one is long, but well worth it.
Dear reader,
In November of 2022 I deactivated the majority of my social media accounts so as to remove myself from the constant need for external approval, and focus on self-improvement. While mirror.xyz is most definitely not instagram, I hope I can maintain the authenticity and candidness with which I’ve been documenting my life on the road, despite the fact that I now have a small audience (thanks again 🙏🏽).
It was very peaceful and comfortable just journaling on my phone for my self. Peace and comfort aren’t values I esteem too highly however, so onwards we continue into the discomfiture. I believe the long term net effect of publicly sharing these notes will so significantly outweigh my short term anxiety about such personal sharing. I buy into that delayed gratification.
Anyway, on to the point. STL. The place I said I’d never return to. The place I had sworn off the face of this planet as a crime ridden and dismal city. The place I was held up at gun point in the parking lot of a Five Guys in 2021. Here I was, returning, not by my will, but by fate. I knew there was a reckoning to be had in this city.
I think about how when you revisit a place at a new stage in life (for me now, being on tour), that location presents itself in a new light. As in, there seems to be a direct relationship between the amount you change, and the amount your experience of that place changes from the initial impression.
That was St. Louis. It still felt grimy, it still felt dangerous, and the air of abandonment still hovered, yet I felt myself floating above it. My memories, of staying here for a month and a half, of sacrificing myself to a relationship that, in the end left me bereft of selfhood, slowly abated, leaving me centered in calm acceptance.
I don’t think I know how not to be alone. The speed I naturally move at in life, the fervor with which I want to engage life with, does it preclude me from relationship? Is it wrong that I am happiest when I am alone, deeply immersed and tremendously focused on some wild task such as scoring paintings or climbing mountains?
Despite my desire for relentless intensity, it’s become clear to me over the course of this tour that I must search for renewal in every moment that I can. This project, Here on Tour, has become my raison d’être. It sustains and satiates me. However, the renewal I often seek centers around the smalls things that remind me of the gratitude I have for life itself.
Here are a couple of my favorite small things:
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Volunteering
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Epsom salt baths
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Long-distance running
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Candles that smell like the forest
I have to say it.
I’m happy.
Painting(s) tl;dr
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CITY:Saint Louis, MO -
MUSEUM:Saint Louis Art Museum -
PAINTING: -
ARTIST: -
OBSERVATION DATE:Jan 20, 2023
Music(s) tl;dr
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CITY:-
Saint Louis, MO
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Dayton, OH
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New York, NY
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New York, NY
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New York, NY
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LOCATION:-
72nd & Park
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72nd & Park
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72nd & Park
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AUDIO SKETCH: -
COMPOSER:Niles Luther -
CREATION DATE:-
Jan 20, 2023
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Jan 27, 2023
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Feb 17, 2023
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Feb 17, 2023
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Feb 17, 2023
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The Museum
Saint Louis Art Museum. Why was it so great? It didn’t feel particularly extraordinary in the way that Milwaukee or Cleveland felt, but there are literally five paintings I discovered that I cannot not score. This was also the first time I perused the galleries accompanied; I invited my close friend along with me. Interestingly I found that this helped my creative process rather than hinder it, although I feel that that is a testament to my friend’s extraordinary conversational skill, rather than the utility of human companionship itself.
Christ and the Woman Taken in Adultery
I was so moved by this painting. Christ and the Woman Taken in Adultery. On first look, it is the chiaroscuro that pulls me in. I love paintings with gravity, with depth, with a sense of three dimensional body. But then, to read the inscription and feel the weight of the story, the plight of this woman, the single tear rolling down her cheek, the savior in Jesus. I find it deeply touching.
As I stood there gazing, perhaps for the first time, the music came to me like a lightning bolt from the sky. I had to record a voice memo of the rhythm so that I wouldn’t lose the theme.
This painting illustrates the Christian New Testament story in which Jesus defied the Pharisees, an ancient religious sect, who had charged a woman with adultery. Challenging Jesus to break the law, the Pharisees asked him if he would follow the required punishment of stoning. After first writing his response on the ground, Jesus spoke: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Mattia Preti focused on the moment just before Jesus speaks, when Jesus and a Pharisee point to the inscription. Preti's dramatic close-up view, rich coloration, expressive sky, and heavy use of contrast make this painting representative of the Baroque style that first developed in Rome in the 1630s.
Funds given by Opal and Arthur H. Meyer Jr. 113:2017
Wall text for Christ and the Woman Taken in Adultery*.** Saint Louis Art Museum, Missouri*
Musical Response
The following music NFT is my initial response to Mattia Preti's ‘Christ and the Woman Taken in Adultery’, recorded on Jan 20, 2023 via voice memo at the Saint Louis Art Museum in Saint Louis, MO. The cover art is a sineprint (a graphed room frequency response) of my room in the Angad Arts Hotel. Unfortunately I don’t have a sineprint for the gallery in the museum, where I actually recorded this voice memo, so the hotel will have to do!
This next music NFT is a transcription and the initial development of the above audio sketch to Mattia Preti's ‘Christ and the Woman Taken in Adultery’, scored on Jan 20, 2023 at the Angad Arts Hotel in Saint Louis, MO.
As soon as I finished playing my show the evening of Jan 20th, I raced home and launched sibelius.dmg at my studio. Sibelius is the music notation software that I use to transcribe my audio sketches, as well as develop them into fully fledged compositions. The instrumentation for this painting was so clear in my head and I needed to transcribe/flush out the initial audio sketch before the music faded from my memory. I worked for about 3 hours straight until 02:30 and this was the result.
What you’re seeing is an eight bar intro followed by a contrasting period starting on mm. 9. Here is ChatGPT’s definition of a contrasting period:
A two-phrase structure in which the second phrase contrasts with the first phrase, usually in terms of melody, rhythm, or harmony. The first phrase (antecedent) poses a question or idea, and the second phrase (consequent) provides a contrasting or unexpected response.
The Louvre, Morning, Sunlight
Ah yes, the Pissarro. I have to say I really am not the hugest fan of French art, especially French Impressionism. Perhaps as mentioned in an earlier entry it is because I do not understand it, but I really have been struggling to score the works of the french painters in this collection.
I imagine I’ll have difficulty with this one too, and yet still I will try. My desire to include it in the collection has less to do with the actual painting itself, although I do find it pretty, but more to do with the memories it recalls for me.
The color, mood, and atmosphere remind me of my former beloved.
I feel that the reason for our parting is contained within this frame. The work is beautiful, but its contents still and unmoving. Yes boats flow down the Seine, and people walk along its shore, but the spirit of the work, at least in my opinion, is inertial; the morning, in sunlight, is at rest and will remain at rest. I feel this is echoed in the title: The Louvre, Morning, Sunlight. This painting captures a moment in time, a moment that is ephemeral and passing; the morning cannot stay, the sun must rise to its zenith and then return below the horizon. For me, the painting does not sincerely reflect the nature of this reality as it does hold it hostage in time, pressed into the canvas, granting the viewer a glimpse of its beauty.
That is our story, my former beloved and I; we were a moment captured in time, one of stillness and one of beauty, but one that did not chase the sun as it rose, inevitably, into the sky.
Despite this, I feel gratitude for the time we had. It was once fresh and deeply passionate, filled with the latent hope of dawn. Unfortunately we never grew into what we could be, instead favoring the familiarity of what we were. The sun, however, has risen, the morning has matured, and it is time to greet the day.
Nevertheless, this is in dedication to you.
끝까지요. 하지만, 이게 정말 끝일까요?
As a young man, Camille Pissarro advised that the best way to advance French art would be to burn down the Louvre Museum, thus eradicating the influence of the art of the past.
By the end of his career, his views had mellowed and he produced a series of several views of the Louvre in different light and weather conditions, as seen here. This painting captures the soft light of early morning and is animated by color accents of a tugboat and barges on the River Seine.
Museum Purchase 225:1916
Wall text for The Louvre, Morning, Sunlight. Saint Louis Art Museum, Missouri
Musical Response
The following music NFT is my initial response to Camille Pissarro's ‘The Louvre, Morning, Sunlight,’ recorded on Jan 27, 2023 via voice memo at the Courtyard Marriott Dayton in Dayton, OH. The cover art is a sineprint (a graphed room frequency response) of my room in the hotel.
This melody came to me in a dream. It might as well be entitled après un rêve, not to connote what Fauré intended with the text for Op. 7, but to bring this cycle of time with you to a close, ending it where it began.
Arria and Paetus
At left, Arria visits her imprisoned husband, Paetus, who had joined an uprising against the Roman emperor Claudius (reigned AD 41-54). She reminds him that suicide is the honorable option for a Roman prisoner. While the painting focuses on the moment just before she inflicts the wound, Arria ultimately demonstrated this choice by plunging the knife into her own breast, saying, "See, Paetus, it does not hurt." This obscure story allowed artists such as François-André Vincent to demonstrate their mastery of elements of classicism, evident in the use of profile poses, stage-like settings, and carefully defined forms.
Funds given by Mr. and Mrs. John Peters MacCarthy, Director's Discretionary Fund, funds given by Christian B. Peper, and gift of Mr. Horace Morison by exchange 27:2008
Wall text for Arria and Paetus. Saint Louis Art Museum, Missouri
Musical Response
The following music NFT is my initial response to François-André Vincent's ‘Arria and Paetus,’ recorded on Feb 17, 2023 via voice memo at a private residence on 72nd & Park in New York, NY. The cover art is a sineprint (a graphed room frequency response) of my room where this was created.
My concept for the music centered around a desire to capture the moment where Arria plunges the knife into her breast. I was taken by the words she says at this moment: "See, Paetus, it does not hurt." There's something so emotionally painful about that, knowing that in reality, a knife in the chest hurts. I found it tragic that Arria not only finds a knife in the chest to be less painful than the dishonor of staying alive, but that she must also demonstrate it via action for her husband to follow. The half step slide in the very beginning of the audio sketch attempts to capture this classical drama.
Interior with Young Woman Tracing a Flower
A young woman traces a drawing of a tulip against a windowpane; her study lies discarded on the floor, and she has been distracted by her pet squirrel perched on an armchair nearby. This painting may be a self-portrait of the artist at work in her studio.
The painting was awarded a gold medal at the 1824 Salon and was then acquired for the prestigious collection of the French aristocrat, the Duchesse de Berry.
Miss Lillie B. Randell by exchange 160:1946
Wall text for Interior with Young Woman Tracing a Flower. Saint Louis Art Museum, Missouri
Musical Response
The following music NFT is my initial response to Louise-Adéone Drölling's ‘Interior with Young Woman Tracing a Flower,’ recorded on Feb 17, 2023 via voice memo at a private residence in New York, NY. The cover art is a sineprint (a graphed room frequency response) of my room.
Peace
Two children embrace each other within a pastoral setting in this idyllic view. Adolphe-William Bouguereau, the prominent academic painter, showed Peace at the 1861 Salon, the official state-sponsored art exhibition, to critical acclaim. The artist produced a companion work, War (JAPS Collection, Mexico), in which the same two children are fighting. Peace had previously been identified as a copy after Bouguereau, but recent technical and provenance research has proven this to be an autograph painting.
Gift of Miss Lillie B. Randell 304:1925
Wall text for Peace. Saint Louis Art Museum, Missouri
Musical Response
The following music NFT is my initial response to Adolphe-William Bouguereau's ‘Peace,’ recorded on Feb 17, 2023 via voice memo at a private residence in New York, NY. The cover art is a sineprint (a graphed room frequency response) of my room.
Here I’m using pizzicato as an allegory for child-like simplicity.
That’s all for now.
Most sincerely,
Niles Luther