How to tame your Web 3 ego while not losing it on Discord

1. Don’t buy art you like, only art you can get rid of.
2. 10% of us are builders. The other 90% should just Connect Wallet and chill.
3. Buy JPGs with an active floor. Don’t buy rare ones.
4. Never get attached to a pfp—they’re just a bunch of traits.
5. Ignore a pfp project if all animals look the same.
6. List everything at 2 ETH above floor. Sell and buy the floor again, in perpetuity.
7. Never de-list, unless it’s to re-list at a higher price. Listed items are less likely to get stolen.
8. If you have zero ETH in your wallet, a hacker would have to send you ETH to be able to pay for gas to move JPGs out.
9. No one is early. You’re probably late. Chasing whitelists on Discord is pointless.
10. Buy new projects via OpenSea/LooksRare on drop day, pre-reveal.
11. Generative art is for idealists. It has no active floor, no mass appeal.
12. Twitter is sufficient. Deactivate Discord.
13. Never create your own pfp collection. It’s tedious and exhausting.
14. Buy shitcoins such as $LINK, $SHIB or $MAGIC so you can easily see how bad they’re doing and screenshot it. Avoid Polygon, Immutable X and all other layers.
15. Buy wholesome pfps (Doodles, Cool Cats) as well as hideous ones (Mutants, Gutter Cats).
16. Don’t use a hardware wallet. Bidding on a mobile (on a whim) is more fun.
17. Buy ENS domain names for everyone you know of who hates Web 3.
18. Watch other people’s wallets on Rainbow. Mainly rich collectors.
19. Screenshot whales’ ETH and WETH $ balance and tweet it at them.
20. Web 3 is an ego-chamber—you will have to suck up to Rug Radio partners. Buy what they preach, as so many others do. Herd immunity.
21. An Affluencer is a rich, privileged influencer.®
22. Wagmi is a lie and statistically impossible.
23. Place a bid on 1/1 art only if someone else is likely to outbid you. Artists you bid on will thank you. Ask them to take you out and get to know.
24. Upload your own 1/1 works to Foundation (▲●■) only if it’s a 50/50 split with known/selling artist.
25. When you mint stuff tag it “CC0”. It means nothing, but to many, it means a lot.
26. Set reminder to congratulate yourself on Twitter Spaces.
27. Dyor is not Dior. Let other people do your research.
28. When airdrops such as $ENS, $SOS or $LOOKS happen—immediately convert all of it to ETH.
29. If you stake a token it’ll leave your wallet and probably never come back.
30. Pretend to be into Pepe the Frog and Tungsten cubes. As well as XCOPY and PAK.
31. 9% of wallets hold 80% of the market. Troll the 9% daily. Ask them “When will we be late?”, every time they say “We're early”.
32. Meet Web 3 people in Miami every December. Calculate their Net 3 worth using value.app. Show them your GIFs. Make IRL sales at dinner parties.
33. Profess to be a “builder”. Never specify what you’re building.
34. Say you hold a Noun in a secret wallet.
35. Airdrop your business card to frenemies’ wallets.
36. Give random financial advice. Your wallet = CV. Jack Butcher is your bff.
37. Buy $AXIE but never play the video game. Or any other Web 3 video game.
38. Talk about how DAOs are inherently socialist.
39. “I bought my mother a new house with NFT earnings🎁”, tweet this every month.
40. Never buy photography.
41. Anon whales are masquerading as anon artists (for tax purposes). They’ll sell tokens to themselves and hide profits.
42. Make bullish statements sound scientific. Tweet JPGs without links, implying you just bought them.
43. Communities are overly cheerful. Show them the dark side of tokenomics by sharing scams, rugs, fuds, pyramid schemes.
44. Tweet Flip McBot fumbles daily. Everyone’s losing money.
45. Giveaways are never really given. Begging people for likes, followers, retweets is so Web 2.
46. Say ‘wen’ not when, ‘fren’ not friend. Refer to wealthy anons as ‘Ser’, not Sir.
47. Instead of buying a new collection, convert your ETH to fiat.
48. Postmortem, your family won’t care about art you loved. They’d just want the ETH.
49. Put your seed-phrase in the will, where your mouth was.
50. Never buy or wear NFT merch.

Article pic from Wagmi DYOR, by Scorpion Dagger —

51. Buy fractional ownership of a song on royal. Keep going till you have a bigger percentage than the artist.

It was the best of ETH, it was the worst of JPGs, it was the age of paper, it was the age of diamond, it was the epoch of ᵍᵐ, it was the epoch of ngmi, it was the season of doodle, it was the season of ape, it was the spring of flip, it was the winter of flop.

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