The taxi driver checked his satnav and looked at the ivy-draped lane it was indicating.

“There’s no fucking chance.”

The lane was steep across the first 10 metres but then it seemed to level out. The path looked like it was solid enough, although the bricks that were laid were thick with moss.

The satnav showed no alternative route and the road was so narrow already that he couldn’t leave the car to walk up and find the fare. He could just sack the whole thing off, but it had been a twenty minute drive out here.

“Control, can you definitely not get a hold of this fare up in the ‘amptons? Hello? Control?”

“Krkkk – sorry driver, please repeat?”

“I said, you definitely can’t get hold of this fare in the amptons? The road is an absolute nightmare and it would be easier if they could walk down to me.”

“Krkkk – I’ve tried them already but the number just rings out. Do you want to cancel it?”

He thought about the drive home, there’d been a Costa on the way. Hot chocolate and reset, write it off as a bad job.

“Nah, I’ll go up there. If they get hold of you then let them know they’re a shitbag and I want a fucking big tip.”

“Krrkkk – ok driver.”

He put the car in first gear. This was why these lads in their automatics wouldn’t make it in the end. If you were doing something as stupid as this then you needed first gear and the ability to rev it where you wanted it. I’d like to see your battery-powered Lego car do that.

He felt the tyres grip on the cobbles and he could tell that they wanted to slip, but he dipped the clutch and pressed through the middle of his foot to hit the sweet spot. The car started up the road. He steered hard against the camber of the little road and after twenty seconds he realised that he’d been holding his breath. He blew out a lungful of tension as the car levelled off and he could crawl forwards.

The narrow road turned after about 500 metres, a narrow arc that he followed. As the new view revealed itself he shook his head and looked again at the satnav. It showed a straight road, looking up that was precisely what the driver saw, but the road rose in a vertiginous fashion. There was seemingly nothing supporting it – just a thin cobbled path leading up to the sky in a 1:30 incline. The thought occurred to him that he’d have to reverse down this road if there wasn’t a turning circle at the top.

“Krkkk – but you know you’re not coming back, don’t you driver?”

He knew. Of course he knew.