On October 20th, 2022, I embarked on an extraordinary journey filled with visions unlike any I had experienced before. These visions possessed a mystical quality, vibrant and profound, defying the boundaries of ordinary dreams. The sensations and emotions I felt throughout were reminiscent of a previous encounter when I stood before the giant cross, as recounted in my third letter. Reflecting upon these visions, I believe they were intended to provide insights into my spiritual growth and development.
Background & Context
Before delving into the visions themselves, it is essential to note that there was limited context leading up to this extraordinary experience. However, two peculiar dreams that preceded that day offer glimpses into my psyche and the challenges I may have been grappling with. On October 9th, the first dream involved a conversation with a departed friend who had tragically passed away earlier that year. Although our friendship had waned over time, the news of his untimely death was shocking. In the dream, I vividly recall embracing my friend, overcome with grief and sorrow. While dreams featuring encounters with deceased loved ones were not uncommon to me, this dream carried significance.
The second dream, on October 14th, transported me to a dark and chilling environment. As I ventured into this unsettling realm, I heard voices that could be described as demonic. Curiously, I felt no fear and found myself drawn closer to these voices. Suddenly, the faint barking of a dog grew louder, abruptly awakening me to the sound of my own canine companion. Glancing at the clock, I discovered it was 3 AM. While it remains uncertain if these dreams hold direct relevance or insight into the forthcoming experience I am about to share, it is worth exploring their connection to the strange occurrences that unfolded.
I will share some insight into the enigmatic figure of the "friend" who recurrently appears in my visions. Through profound introspection and contemplation, I have realized that this friend symbolizes the anima within my psyche. Let me delve into Carl Jung's description of the anima to shed light on this concept. According to Carl Jung, the anima is an archetypal feminine figure that resides within the unconscious of men. It represents the feminine aspects of their personalities, encompassing emotions, intuitions, and creative expressions. The anima acts as a bridge between the conscious and unconscious realms, providing a means for men to connect with their unconscious feminine qualities. The anima catalyzes inner growth, facilitating the integration of the feminine aspects into one's psyche.
In my journey, this friend has frequently materialized in various dreams. Their presence has served as a symbolic manifestation of the anima archetype, representing the hidden depths of my unconscious and the unexplored facets of my own femininity. Their appearance often evokes strong emotions and stirs a longing for connection, reflecting my innate desire to embrace and integrate these feminine qualities within myself.
Visions
The first vision unfolded within the confines of my bedroom, where I was abruptly awakened by an unseen force. Sitting up in bed, I found myself face to face with a flying dollar bill hovering before me. Intrigued, I reached out to grasp it, but the bill resisted as if attempting to break free from my grasp. A voice echoed in my mind, urging me to release my grip. Reluctantly, I let go, and with a swift motion, the dollar bill soared away, disappearing into the unknown. Strangely, I felt like I had communicated with this voice before.
As the first vision dissolved, the transition into the next remains hazy in my memory. However, I distinctly recall being enveloped in a breathtaking first-person flight. The skies above were resplendent, basking in the warmth of a glorious day. A profound sense of joy and elation filled my being as I soared freely through the air, marveling at the panoramic view below. It was a euphoric experience, reminiscent of a carefree child exploring the wonders of the world.
During this exhilarating flight, I was drawn to a colossal and magnificent church that stood prominently before me. Intrigued by a sense of curiosity reminiscent of my childhood, I felt compelled to visit an old friend. This yearning for connection and reunion stirred within me, propelled by a deep desire to reconnect and discover how this dear friend had fared over time.
With a seamless transition, the following vision revealed a sunlit neighborhood teeming with the lively melodies of chirping birds. Amidst the harmonious symphony of nature, a faint echo of a woman's voice could be discerned in the distance. It was as if this serene neighborhood held a clue to the whereabouts of the person I sought, suggesting that perhaps this was where they now resided.
Analysis
The first vision served as a significant catalyst, initiating a sequence of visions that unfolded afterward. Reflecting upon the emotions I experienced and the profound connection with a divine source, I am reminded of the parallels I drew in my previous letter, where I explored similar themes. Looking back, I have come to interpret this initial vision as a message urging me to release my obsessive pursuit of money.
In a world that often idolizes and revolves around wealth, I had excessively emphasized monetary gains, which had clouded my perspective and hindered my spiritual growth. However, as I delve deeper into the meaning of this vision, I recognize that it carries a more profound message beyond the surface level. It suggests that relinquishing the attachment to money symbolizes letting go of materialistic desires, ultimately enabling me to embark on a transformative journey toward a higher spiritual realm.
The second vision, which involved flying alongside God, starkly contrasts the first vision. Here, I am the one soaring through the skies, detached from the pursuit of wealth. This juxtaposition implies that by releasing my worldly desires, I took a significant step closer to connecting with the divine, echoing the themes explored in "The Interior Castle" by Saint Teresa of Avila. In her book, "The Interior Castle," Teresa describes the soul's journey towards union with God using the metaphor of a castle with multiple chambers or mansions. Each mansion represents a distinct stage of spiritual development, guiding individuals toward spiritual growth and self-examination. At the time of these visions, I found myself attempting to transcend the Second Mansion, as described by Teresa. In the Second Mansion, individuals experience a heightened desire for prayer and a conscious effort to overcome worldly attachments and temptations. The soul begins to seek God with greater determination but grapples with the distractions and allurements of the external world. In this context, the attachment to money can be seen as a representation of worldly desires and materialistic pursuits.
Significantly, when I embraced the concept of letting go of money and freeing myself from the shackles of worldly attachments, I could enter the subsequent vision, metaphorically progressing into the next chamber or mansion. This transition symbolized a deeper connection with God, a profound spiritual ascent that aligned with my journey of self-discovery and divine exploration. In this extraordinary vision, I soared above everything and everyone, embracing a deep sense of joy and wonderment. The radiant sun bathed the scene in its brilliant light. In the distance, a magnificent and grand church stood, serving as a powerful symbol of the Kingdom of Heaven itself.
As I approached the Church in the vision, an overwhelming desire to find my friend, who I interpret as my anima, consumed me. It felt as though I couldn't enter the Church without her presence. The dynamics between a man and his anima are eloquently explored in Robert Johnson's book "He: Understanding Masculine Psychology." Johnson proposes that for a man to attain inner wholeness, he must cultivate an inner marriage between his conscious masculine identity and the feminine energies embodied by the anima.
This union between the anima and man allows for integration of various qualities such as assertiveness, sensitivity, receptivity, and empathy. By embracing this integration, individuals can experience a profound sense of self, expanded consciousness, and a harmonious relationship with both their inner and outer worlds. Johnson views this transformative journey as essential for men to live authentically, find meaning, and achieve fulfillment in life.
Interestingly, as we age and achieve success in the external realm, a contrasting relationship with our anima often arises. Johnson refers to this as "involutional melancholia" or, as he aptly puts it, the "hideous damsel." While this phase may bring challenges, it serves a valuable purpose in a man's growth. It becomes an opportunity for learning and understanding oneself on a deeper level. To transcend the associated depression and move forward, a man must confront and engage with his anima.
The fact that I sought my anima's presence before entering the Church suggests that I have yet to achieve a sacred union with her. This echoes a previous dream where I found myself as a robot, reminiscent of the character in the movie "WALL-E," flying around and calling out for her. It was evident in that dream that I was distressed by my inability to locate her. Reflecting on this dream now, I interpret the symbolic nature of the robot as an indication of my detachment and emotional coldness from my soul – often associated with the feminine qualities that the anima provides.
In the subsequent vision, I found myself in a neighborhood where I sensed the presence of my anima, although I couldn't see her visually. The auditory perception indicated that this place was her dwelling. The absence of a visual encounter with her suggested that there was still internal work and growth required on my part before I could fully unite with her. It became evident that the journey toward sacred union and integration would take time and effort. The vision gave me a glimpse of the beauty that awaits within the Great Church, symbolizing the kingdom of heaven and the ultimate destination of this transformative process.
Summary
In conclusion, I would like to share some final reflections. There are rare moments in a man's life when he is presented with a vision or experience that calls for a deep dive into the depths of his soul in search of profound answers. It has become evident that men in Western societies face a significant challenge in reaching the Seventh Castle, as described by Saint Teresa of Avila. Deep down, we all know that pursuing materialistic attachments will never truly fill the void our souls long for, yet many of us continue to chase after them. Unfortunately, the materialistic nature of our world places immense importance on these attachments, making it challenging for us to find the sacred union our souls desperately yearn for. Our most significant test lies in striking a balance between the inner work our souls crave and the material demands necessary for survival. Through this delicate balance, we can navigate the complexities of our existence and strive for a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
