An Article published on Medium May, 22, 2022. It was time to recirculate the collection of three Fettered Spiders & possibly even revisit the canvas.

10.18.2022

It turns out that my so-called ‘Genesis’ began way before I had ever intended, but like many of my other works…they come full circle and bite me in the ass. My physical work was destroyed on not one, but multiple, occasions. I know, sounds ridiculous. You would think I would learn to protect my work from oncoming hurricanes and floods, but alas this has led to you, dear reader, and to the world of NFTs. A staunch believer in the physicality of art, I was of the school that maybe, just maybe, I should have lit the rest of my physical pieces on fire. Well, that was the plan indeed and then, of course I read that Banksy already lit that course (no pun) and the last thing I’ve ever wanted is to be labeled a ‘copy cat’ and so on. I am here writing on the creation of my work-in-progress, a Genesis piece in-the-making, yet will now be referred to as a circle-about, a Denoument-of sorts, “Fettered Spiders.” — If the name sounds familiar, you are correct. I’ve shared a select few ‘Fettered Spiders: The Iterations’, as this collection is a circular process.

One seemingly normal day about six years ago, my treasured portfolio that varied from photography to submission slides, my accolades, and project pieces that maybe only my eyes would ever see…found their final resting place amongst the train tracks a few miles from my childhood home. Weeks had gone by before a good samaritan rang me up asking if someone in this world ‘hated me’. I was a bit stunned and asked why. She then proceeded to tell me that everything I may have ever cherished was scattered all over this old set of train tracks that never ran. She then described objects such as my beloved children’s baby mementos and the likes of my entire art career and portfolio. Twenty years down the drain. The only items that were not in this heap of trash were the paintings that hung in the estates of my collectors.

What do you do? What could I do? Be angry? Sure, I was. Be hurt? Sure, I was. Cry? Sure, I did. Now what? All of my photo albums, art slides and photography were among the scattered heaps of single shoes, paintings and notebooks. Diligently each photo was picked up and brought home, dabbed dry and placed on a 36" x 60" hand-built & stretched canvas. I did not know how the photos would take to: one, any sort of adhesive on the back and: two, if they’d survive at all after being in the wet elements for the past few weeks. But I had to try to turn something horrible into something meaningful. It didn’t have to be beautiful. The piece had to mean something even if I was the only person to ever lay eyes upon it.

This was back in 2017 when I began. I was heartbroken. The work was set aside and put into my studio. I would pass by and take a look at every memory that had been destroyed, but not forgotten. It would still bring up a little resentment for the act and my feelings would still waver back and forth as I choked back the tears. Maybe they still do.

Let’s fast forward.…it’s now three years after “train tracks” and three years of my ruined photography staring back at me in my studio. Three years of no notable changes to this large canvas with my ruined memories that just screamed at me. Sure, I’d look at it. Think about how to proceed and it would be moved around to different areas of the house. On March 20, 2020, my father took his own life. His health had been slipping down hill after a “supposedly successful” hip surgery. I hated this piece even more because he was the reason my art, photographs, and cherished ‘things’ were ruined. On purpose? Hmmm, a little bit. I guess I can blame dementia, but none-the-less, it was related to my beloved father that didn’t say good bye. Yes, I hated it.

Add Covid. Add two years. After working through my father’s passing this piece has come full circle…with me. It has gone through many stages and phases changing its composition and makeup almost as if it had known that I had done the same. The photographs themselves are not what they once were. Neither am I. The smaller sections, ‘Fettered (bound) Spiders,’ The Iterations, have gone through an evolution…a transformation, from something old and cherished to being completely ‘the destroyed,’ to being mounted on a canvas and then completely transformed into an unrecognizable piece of abstract art. The something beautiful.

It’s not complete just yet as the collection is working in a circle. “FS : The Iterations’ is quite time consuming and I don’t plant to create one for each photograph, just a select few. The main physical piece, my genesis, is near completion. To me, it’s symbolic of taking something that was almost too painful to breathe and accepting the changes that allowed beauty. What choice did I have? The only other option was literally and figuratively — garbage.

Since Publication of this article *Fettered Spiders: The Iterations has been run many times as an innit image through various AI Colab notebooks. There have been an array of fascination outcomes that range from mp4s, to animated GIFS, to edited illustrator & photoshopped animations turned GIF VIDS — none of which have been minted just yet.