On the road of life, there are three kinds of mindsets that are the most dangerous. No matter how powerful this person is, once there is one of these three mindsets, it will leave too many hidden dangers on the road of pursuit, which will greatly affect success and happiness. There are three disadvantageous attitudes that hinder a person's success in life: complaining, doing your best, and self pity.
The first mentality that hinders life: complaining
First, let's talk about complaining. No matter in life or work, complaining is always a poison. Complaints in life will turn the wife into a resentful wife, turn the husband into a coward, and make people dare not face a little twists and turns in life, thus affecting the whole family relationship. Now most divorces are also caused by complaints; Complaints at work will make people careless about work, make people unable to see opportunities and success, thus affecting interpersonal relationships. Although they work hard, they have no work performance and do nothing.
From the perspective of psychology, complainers are a kind of self-confidence, because they don't believe that their abilities can change the environment and the people around them. Therefore, when they encounter things, their first thought is how to eliminate the responsibility from themselves, so they will always blame others, everyone around them, everything, and they will feel that everything is unfair to themselves, and their purpose is to excuse themselves, Is to find a good reason for yourself when you can't solve the problem. Moreover, people who complain for a long time cannot have a strong mentality of success, and are unwilling to face things and solve problems with all their heart. They always hope that everything can be very ideal, can be as they imagine, and can have results beyond their expectations without any effort. What is more serious is that if you complain for a long time, your psychology will change, you will have many unreasonable ideas, you will feel that everything is unfair, you will feel that all people and things are aimed at yourself, and you will be hostile to everything around you; Then they will become haggard about any small thing, but they are unwilling to spend their time to solve the problem.
Generally, people who complain lose their sense of responsibility, because in the long-term complaint, such people will not introspect, can not see their own problems clearly, and will not understand the dominant position of a person in all things, will completely ignore the power of the ID factor, and will think that everything is because of the environment, and will feel that the role of people is too small. People need to clearly find themselves. People who don't know themselves will become ignorant, will have no bottom in their hearts, will be unsure of themselves, will dare not take responsibility, and will think of how to shirk responsibility before doing anything.
Therefore, there are often couples who complain about each other because of various problems and eventually divorce. These people have never thought that no matter what kind of problems they encounter, as a person, they should find ways to solve them, instead of complaining about the unfairness of society or the incomprehension of the other party, they should find more reasons from themselves. To give some simple examples, now the society often complains that the house price is high and can't afford to get married, blaming this society for being unfair, and blaming some girls and families for being jealous of money. In fact, this is also a kind of abnormal thinking. For such a problem, what we should want is not to complain, but to work hard to make money on the one hand, and on the other hand, find ways to make the girl and her family change the idea that they must get married only after a house. Both of them are difficult, but they are not impossible. If you really work hard, you can really let the other party see your efforts. Even if you are not a blue chip stock now, most people are still willing to invest in potential stocks. But if you don't work hard and fight for it, it can only be a junk stock, and you don't have to blame others for not daring to invest.
The same is true at work. We often hear some voices, including those complaining about customers, companies, leaders, colleagues and the market. There are all kinds of voices; However, these voices never think about why there is time to complain, instead of trying to solve these problems? Complainers often have no sunshine in their hearts, nor can they see the beauty of the world, let alone pursue success and happiness.
The second mentality that hinders life: do your best
The so-called best effort is to do something or not, and in many cases, it is to do nothing. The essence is very simple. All people who say they try their best, even if they don't do anything, will feel that they try their best. Friends and colleagues often chat with me for life and work reasons, and I always like to ask, "did you really try your best?" Not many people dare to give me a positive answer, because from their replies, we can see that they didn't try their best at all, and most people didn't even try their best.
Doing your best is also an excuse to avoid responsibility, and it is also an expression of lack of confidence in yourself. You don't believe that you will succeed at all, so give yourself an excuse in advance. In case you don't succeed, tell yourself that you have tried your best, and the failure is due to other reasons. For life, no matter what things are solved, you should tell yourself to be like a soldier. If you don't succeed, you will die on the battlefield. Although you are defeated, you are still proud; And we can't be like a coward who doesn't dare to fight with all his strength and dare not fight at all. Things are spelled out. If you don't spell them, no one can help, and no one can solve the problem.
Doing your best is doing something or not, or doing nothing; Try your best, it's better to be benevolent if you don't succeed. This is the way to achieve success.
The third mentality that hinders life: self pity
Finally, there is self pity. Because of different life experiences, many people will always feel that they are different, and they will always feel that they should have some advantages in psychology, so as to become overly self-centered, guard constantly, and have an excessive sense of self-protection. For such people, in fact, it is very contradictory. On the one hand, they will emphasize their own personal abilities and refuse others thousands of miles; On the other hand, he likes to rely on others, hopes others to help him succeed, thinks that others should help him, and thinks that others owe him.
Such a state of mind will lead to being too sensitive when judging things and getting along with people, so that you can't see yourself and the surrounding things clearly. Living completely in a closed space built by yourself will make communication difficult, and will also show some ideas that are too selfish or incomprehensible to most people on many issues.
From the perspective of psychology, the emergence of this mentality lies in that this person can't face the reality, can only live in the past experience and shadow, dare not really face the problems encountered in real life, and have no courage to think about ways to solve problems with innovative thinking. In a deep sense, it is a kind of self-protection consciousness formed outside and inside by internal inferiority complex afraid of being discovered, Most people with this mentality will show conceit or pride, but this kind of performance is false, just to hide their inferiority.
No matter which kind of mentality above, it will greatly affect the exertion of personal ability, hinder people's success, and make you unable to see yourself and your environment clearly. If there are two or three of them, it will be more serious, and even in the end, it will not only accomplish nothing, the family will not be happy, but also there is likely to be psychological problems.