This is the second chapter of the book „Viveka – the Voice of Inner Guru. “

The whole book will be tokenized as NFTs on Mirror and, as such, published in 20 articles (20 chapters of the book: The Illusion; India, oh India!; The Accurate description of the Reality; The Crown Jewel; Dead Guru; Living student; Who you?; Leaving the room; The Weakness of the Mind; The Archimedean Point; Three Powers of Maya; Viveka - the Sword of Truth; The Cave of the Mind; Language Can Save Us; Searching for Lakshana; Nine Golden Rules of Viveka; Purification Exercises; What to do with all this?; Dealing with Fear; Ekam Evadvityam: Living without a Center).

Chapter 2: India, oh India!

na gacchati vinā pānaṃ vyādhirauṣadhaśabdataḥ |
vināparokṣānubhavaṃ brahmaśabdairna mucyate ||

A disease is not cured if one simply utters the name of the medicine,
without taking it. Similarly, without direct realization,
one cannot be liberated merely by uttering the word “Brahman.”

Vivekachudamani 64

As many did, I, too, have turned my eyes to India. At least I did it at the beginning of my search. Maybe it was because I was disappointed with the apparent disregard for anything subjective in the field of science. I didn't like the goddess of objectivity too much. I never grasp that concept fully; namely, everything people do is always subjective. The very idea of objectivity is so slippery that relying on it seems like a mission impossible. How to the hell can you hope to achieve objectivity when everything you know is utterly subjective?

We can only agree that something we perceive is the same for all of us and call it objective. In a sense, it is, but in a sense, it isn't. Remember VR? If ten players of a video game perceive the same virtual reality, can we call that perception an objective one? If one player has a particular bonus point and different clearance level at his disposal, thus seeing something others can't, is that perception objective? And what happens with the objectivity of the other nine?

You may say that the perception of all players is objective, but to call it true is an overstatement.

Of course, before computers came into our life, we didn't understand VR. But, somehow, sages from India made quite similar analogies using the dream state of consciousness. As we all know, dreams can be quite vivid. You can't doubt the experience inside the dream. We feel real fear; we are genuinely excited and happy; we can touch other people's skin and feel the warmth of their embrace. The feeling is authentic and based on something we perceive as entirely „objective“ until we wake up. How impossible is the thought that the same thing happens right here, right now, inside the so-called „waking state of consciousness“?

Subjectivity is a reality; objectivity is a concept never to be achieved. You have to believe in it before you apply it to your life. And the belief was never my stronger side. I wanted to know, not to believe. If the truth is to be found, it must be found in the realm of subjectivity. Identifying the truth with objectivity is as good as saying that truth does not actually exist and that you can only believe in it.

Objectivity is a cuckoo's egg implanted through ideology. We cannot be sure that it even exists. On the other side, we can be sure that the truth exists. There must be something behind the illusion, something on top of what the illusion is built.

Somehow, I developed an early aversion to using the word objectivity. This aversion is not to be confused with trust in subjectivity. No way! Subjectivity is full of deceptions. So full that it became a synonym for it. But, in the end, it is all we have. And there, inside our experience, our consciousness – at the place we call subjective - must be something we can identify as a true reality. What it is and how we can reach it, I didn't know.

I hoped that someone from India would know. More than that, I wished that someone would tell me how I could see it, understand it, and live it. That wish didn't come true, but the fascination with India had some advantages. Without it, I would not acquire a lot of precious and irreplaceable experiences of different, higher states of consciousness. And without that, I would have always wondered: what if. That doesn't mean that you have to take the same path. Quite the contrary, my point is that such experiences are overrated. But, I understand that if you are craving something different than the reality you are experiencing now, it isn't easy to accept that the change of experience is not an answer. Hearing such a statement can induce the same reaction as you would have when a wealthy person says that money is not important. Jim Carrey, a successful and famous actor, lately had an obvious turnover in his life. In one public speech, he said that he wishes for everyone to be successful and wealthy as he is, just to understand that the answers to perplexing questions in life cannot be bought with money. After hearing such a statement, your first thought may be: „Yeah, right, for you, it is easy to say such a thing. You have money; you don't have to think about how to pay off your mortgage or university education for your children“. But, on the other hand, think about it: Jim Carrey has money, so maybe he knows what he is talking about. Perhaps you can believe him: he walked that path, and at its end, he says that money doesn't matter.

In the realm of spirituality, the currency is - experience. You are spiritually wealthy if you have enough experience. At least, that is what the majority of spiritual seekers consider relevant. What if (again, that stupid question!) someone spiritually wealthy would tell you that, at the end of the road, experience doesn't matter? You would not believe it, of course. Because what is there in spirituality, if not the experience? I understand; I wouldn't have believed in such nonsense if I had heard it forty years ago. Well, the truth is that I didn't hear it. I didn't have anyone to tell me that my search for a more profound experience of reality (whatever that may be) didn't matter. It may be fun, though, and much more interesting than pursuing the money, but still, it isn't so relevant for finding the truth about you and the world you are living in. I will return to that point in some of the later chapters, but for now, I want to inform you where I am coming from.

I have spent more than twenty years exploring techniques of meditation. For months, and on two occasions for years, I lived like a hermit and didn't do anything except dive into the deepness of my consciousness. I am pleased with my experiences, and even now, I wouldn't change them for anything. They include abiding inner peace; detachment from emotional bondage and absence of desires; prolonged experiences of witnessing not only worldly affairs but my own doings and even thoughts; clear perception of unmovable inner Self, the Atman, as they call it in India; development of exceptional powers like understanding the intention of speechless creatures, animals and such, occasional levitation, transfer of consciousness into other bodies, and similar. I gained profound insights into the mechanics of the development of consciousness, its stages, and especially its higher states. Those insights were not only intellectual but experiential, too. I could see different planes of reality, sometimes communicate with spiritual beings, visit other lokas (worlds) in dreams, and astral travels. I've seen and felt many wonders the majority of people never would.

When it comes to such experiences, it is usually much better to be silent than to tell and be misunderstood. I am quite tacit about it because I don't like the look of disbelief on other people's faces. Equally, maybe even more, I don't like the look of astonishment or admiration. Thus, my usual attitude is that I should stay in my separate world and not mingle too much with others.

But now I have a point to make. And that point is that, at the end of the road, I know that spiritual experience will not remove the question of „what if.“ You can always ask: „What if all that belongs to the illusion? What if these experiences are inside, like safe and exciting bubbles in the ocean of deception?“

How would you know?

The answer is devastating: as long as you are in the realm of experiences, you will never know.

After a long journey filled with difficulties, sacrifices, intensive feelings, breaking of the rules, and going against the stream; the journey in which despair and hope were mixed in unpredictable proportions with pure joy, I came to a point where the wall between me and what I was looking for became so thick, so impenetrable, that I had to stop. There was no going forward anymore. There were two options ahead: to quit and forget all about „what if “ or to find another path. I knew: if I was to take the second option, the new way must be different – radically different from everything I was doing until now.

I didn't abandon the search. Instead, I turned my back to India. I have seen a lot of it, but all I have seen was not enough for a breakthrough. I was not holding any grudge against it, and I didn't regret anything that I had done. I didn't feel that I had lost time in a futile search. Quite the contrary, in my mind, India has become like a memory of an exciting love story from my youth. I have grown since then; I learned a lot, and I was ready to move forward.

To illustrate, I didn't abandon the knowledge I acquired. I am still delighted to teach people meditation. The skill of naturally silencing the mind is precious. Modern people don't know how to relax, how to remove the excess stress. The need for activating unused inner potential is greater than ever.

Moreover, the experiences of higher states of consciousness are quite useful. If you have them, you can become much more efficient in whatever you aspire to achieve. Besides, it can be magically fun to explore hidden realms in the depths of your consciousness. I will always recommend everyone to take some time off of their life and dive deep into it.

However, I have no other choice but to warn you: despite the fun and usefulness, in the end, you will hit the wall. The final step over the line that separates the illusion from the truth cannot be made using the experience as a vehicle. Let me point you to the problem you will face.

Let's call that final step enlightenment. That word is overused, misused, and utterly unclear. However, in the absence of better wording, let's use it. (Other choices could include liberation or Sanskrit moksha; or abiding state of truth, which is precise but quite a mouthful.)

Look at the following sentences:

I am dreaming.
I am awake.
I am in a higher state of consciousness.
I am enlightened.

The first three are correct and meaningful; they are saying: I have experience.

The last one is wrong. It doesn't do justice to the final step over the line. At the beginning of the search, you don't see the difference – it is all the same to you. You want to experience what is now not accessible to you. But, for the final crossing, it doesn't work that way. It works all the way up to the highest state of consciousness, but no further.

India gave me experience, and sure, I can teach the how of that experience to anyone who wants to learn it. But the final step is a different story. So, I had to do it alone, without India's „burden“ of India.

The burden is in quotes because it doesn't have to be a burden, just as anything you have learned otherwise doesn't have to be an obstacle to finding the truth. However, it usually is.

It is human nature to create beliefs, convictions, patterns, and standards. We like to drive on auto-pilot; once we are convinced that something or someone is right, we don't question too much what follows. In other words, we surrender our power of discrimination to someone or something we believe in. It happens all the time in your life. You give your discrimination power to the person you love, politicians you vote for, and a sexy lady who sells car tires. So, nothing new here, but Indian systems of spiritual teachings are notorious for taking that power from their followers.

In most cases, you are asked to believe and to surrender. India is full of Gurus and the people who believe them. That is a thousand-year-long tradition. Don't touch that. You cannot doubt something that comes from tradition. It's blasphemy.

Most of the followers from the West are just changing one auto-pilot for the other. They got tired and became disappointed with their way of life and wanted to switch to another. They bite the bait of different experiences. And they get what they want. Plus, a push into a more profound illusion. However, if they keep at least some of their common sense, instead of fascinating experiences calling for a wannabe spiritualist from another continent, they will see the blind spots amid the Indian spiritual circus — gaps and holes, direct pointings at the truth. You may find them in scriptures but also in the speeches of those who present themselves as gurus, but in reality, they are just parrots.

The example of such holes may be the following sentences: the final step is always made by yourself, not with the help of anyone else; the scriptures amount to nothing if there is no living practice; the truth is eternal and everpresent - thus it doesn't need any guardian, and it is on everyone disposal if they are willing to take it, etc. Looking at these statements (I will return to them with much more details in later chapters) with the innocent eyes, you will see that they are in sharp contradiction with the requirements for following the tradition, surrender, belief, and faith. Of course, the advocates of these institutions will always try to convince you of the opposite. Your best defense is common sense.

It may be that I was just lucky, or it was the fact that I was headed towards the exit from my youth long before I discovered India. Whatever the reason, I never fell for a show. I did listen to what the teachers were saying, and I did what they suggested (or ordered) me to do. But I kept my sanity. Maybe it was unfortunate because I might be happier if I didn't.

Despite my decision that there was nothing for me from the side of India, India kept popping out! That didn't help at the time when I was crossing the line. I took it as an exciting twist of fate - a noncoincidental coincidence, but it didn't add anything to the pace of passing through the gateless gate. Only later, when the period of adjustment was over, did I notice that despite all shortcomings, India has to offer valuable insights even for the final exit. Those insights are hidden behind the colorful scenography, but they are there, nevertheless.

One of these valuable ideas, hidden under the enormous piles of garbage, is an idea that a discriminative power of your mind can take you over - from the world of illusion to the world of the truth. That power is called viveka. And indeed, it is the voice of the inner guru. I listened to that voice and used viveka to break through finally. Or break true, if you would like. I didn't know the word viveka then; I discovered it later with some lost and misinterpreted scriptures from Indian spiritual tradition. Basically, viveka is just ordinary common sense but applied literary and without compromise.

Not counting strange syntagmas as „viveka yoga“ mostly related to some traditional interpretation of viveka added to asanas and hatha yoga practices, you will find no trace of living viveka. If you are studying Sanskrit grammar, you may come across some parts of viveka describing discriminative factors (laskhanas). Still, it is far from any practical use in eliminating the power of illusion. All attempts to fight that power were restricted to experience. Tempting and apparently logical but not correct.

The supreme authority on viveka should be one well-known scripture attributed to Indian sage Adi Shankara. The title of that scripture is Vivekachudamani. However, as you will see, Vivekachudamani is a prime example of corrupted knowledge. Its diamonds are overlooked even though they are in plain sight.

A funny thing happened. India could not take me over the final line, but after I somehow managed to do just that, I like to spend my pastime describing the path leading out of the dark jungle grown upon mistakes of our minds. And, lo and behold, India is still offering inspiration! Strange, isn't it?

***

Next Chapter: The Accurate Description of the Reality