This is the eighth chapter of the book „Viveka – the Voice of Inner Guru. “

The whole book will be tokenized as NFTs on Mirror and, as such, published in 20 articles (20 chapters of the book: The Illusion; India, oh India!; The Accurate description of the Reality; The Crown Jewel; Dead Guru; Living student; Who you?; Leaving the room; The Weakness of the Mind; The Archimedean Point; Three Powers of Maya; Viveka - the Sword of Truth; The Cave of the Mind; Language Can Save Us; Searching for Lakshana; Nine Golden Rules of Viveka; Purification Exercises; What to do with all this?; Dealing with Fear; Ekam Evadvityam: Living without a Center).

Chapter Eight: Leaving the Room

ajñānasarpadaṣṭasya brahmajñānauṣadhaṃ vinā |
kimu vedaiśca śāstraiśca kimu mantraiḥ kimauṣadhaiḥ ||

For one who the serpent of ignorance has bitten,
the only remedy is knowledge of the Absolute.
To such a one, of what avail are
the Vedas and scriptures, mantras, and medicines?

Vivekachudamani 61

Were you confused with the ending of the story from the previous chapter? Well, there is a continuation. I'll use it to introduce a few essential ideas about the path towards the exit from the grip of an illusion.

So, Mr. Grimes meets an Indian monk who asks him, „Who you?“ question. Mr. Grimes tries to answer with his name first, then with the knowledge about the atman. However, the monk sees through him and stops him with a resolute „bas.“ When Mr. Grimes honestly confesses that he doesn't know who he is, the monk instructs him to find out. But „how?“ asks Mr. Grimes.

However, the monk dismisses the question, „how.“ It is a natural question for Mr. Grimes, and it would be a logical question for all of us. But, there is something wrong with it. What is it?

Read the end of the story.

***

„So I said, “I do not know.”

Immediately he responded, “Find out.”

I replied, “How?”

He responded, “Not how, find out.”

Again I asked, “How?”

He was holding a handkerchief in his hand, and he opened his fingers and let the handkerchief drop to the ground, and as it fell, he said, “Let go.”

Again I asked, “How (to let go)?”

He responded, “Not how, let go.”

And then he turned and left the room.“

***

The act of letting go is the most effortless act of all. You just have to stop what you are doing. Doing something requires effort and consumes energy. Probably, you'll need a particular skill to perform any act, no matter if that is an act of creating, maintaining, or destroying. Even holding something, be it as simple as holding the handkerchief in your hand, requires you to contract the muscles and coordinate your fingers with the position of your hand and the whole body.

Is there a „how“ in letting the handkerchief drop to the floor? Yes, but it is not the „how“ of riding a bicycle, swimming, or running a marathon. It is the „how“ of relaxing, lying down, and not doing anything.

Apply that insight to the spiritual field, and you'll quickly see a lot of „hows“ if you want to activate your chakras, connect with universal energy, feel everlasting love, learn how to balance your breathing, or improve your body stamina. However, when we come to the essential questions, like „who we are,“ the „how“ suddenly becomes redundant. It is a wrong question.

If you ask it, that means you think the answer is to be found in some new skill or some other place. The assumption behind the „how“ question is that you have to cross some path from here to there or from now to then. It is a wrong assumption because you already are who you are. You don't want to become someone else, do you? You don't want to change anything in you, improve it, or upgrade it. You just want to know who you are.

If you look at the field of modern spirituality from that point of view, you'll find it incredibly superficial. In almost all cases, you'll be instructed to analyze false identification with one of the koshas. For example, your harmful belief that you are not capable of career success or not worth finding a loving and supportive partner. Then, you'll be told that your view is wrong; you are capable, and you are worth anything you imagine. Of course, you'll be delighted and inspired by that news. You'll witness the birth of a new, improved, and much better you emerging from the ashes of the old, poor you.

Reread the last sentence. What is wrong with it?

It's schizophrenic. Who is witnessing the birth of who? Why would the new you be more you than the old one? The real you (if there is such a thing) was equally present before as it is now. You improved your life (that means you identify with some better part of some mayakosha – illusory body), but you still don't know who you are. And, if you continue along the spiritual path changing identifications all the way down to the body of bliss, you never will.

I am capable.

I am not capable.

I am a loving person.

I am a rude person.

Bas. That's not who you truly are.

I am a materialist.

I am a spiritual person.

I am healthy.

I am sick.

Bas. Those are just identifications. You can be all of that a none of that.

I am exceptional; I am weak; I am creative; I am dumb; I am a philosopher; I am a mother; I am a politician; I am a doctor.

Bas, bas, bas. There is nothing in there except the false, flickery reflections of who you really are. The real Self, an atman, as Vivekachudmani calls it, is not created nor revealed by those identifications. It is covered or hidden by them.

Also, the real Self will not be changed when the identification changes. It is untouched by anything that is happening in the field of illusion.

There is one more thing you have to consider very carefully. Take one identification, for example, „I am a writer.“ Does that mean that the Self (atman) identified itself with being a writer? Can we say it like this: „Atman is a writer“?

No. Atman is not a writer. I am a writer.

Can we say that „atman is a father“? No, atman is not a father; I am a father.

Atman is not identifying with anything. Something is going on in the field of the koshas. A process, any process, is happening in the consciousness. Mahabhutas (elements) can be involved; senses can be involved, or internal organs like intellect, mind, or organs of knowledge. That process results in an identification – a feeling of „it is happening to me“ is created. Every event in consciousness creates that feeling. If the events repeat themselves, they reinforce the sense of I-ness. Repetitive thoughts, same emotions, memories... you name it. Every day, every hour, the feeling of I-ness is strengthened.

Be clear about something, please. That feeling - we call it „I“-  is the result of the identification, not the one who is making the identification!

We are confused by our language, which means by our mind, because the language belongs to manomayakosha. Later on, while dealing with the rare technicalities of viveka, you'll see how important language is for deconstructing the illusion.

Consider two sentences:

I am a writer.

I am identifying myself with being a writer.

I would be willing to bet that most of my readers would declare the first sentence as incorrect and the second one as accurate. Let's see.

The first one is wrong, of course, although I can use it to communicate that the writing activity is happening on the professional level (providing some food and means for a living).

But, it may be a surprise that the second one is also incorrect!

There is no special „I“ identifying itself with being a writer. Atman, the real self, can not do it. Atman doesn't do such crazy stuff. And the false I – the sense of „I-ness“ also can not do it because it is – false!

There is a practical purpose in the first case – using „I am something“ as an expression in communicating information about an activity.

In the second case, however – there is no practical use, just misunderstanding. Of course, you will hear such expressions in spirituality and psychology, but they are more than confusing – they are wrong to the bones!

„I am identifying with something“ is fallacious because of your true Self's inability to interact with anything. So, the real you can not do it.

The fact is that the very sense of „I-ness“ comes into being when something is happening in consciousness. So, the „false you“results from the identification process, not the actor itself! The false self is a harmless, incompetent parasite stealing the show of life.

Atman, the real Self, is everpresent and everlasting, untouched by the identification process. The „I“ - the false self – is created in that process, covering the atman and hiding it from the view.

***

The logical question is how to uncover it? How to make atman, the real Self, visible or present, and thus finally get to know who we are?

Yes, that is the logical question anyone would ask as Mr. Grimes did, but it is a wrong question. There is no „how“ in uncovering the Self. All „hows“ will just change the focus of identification or even increase its power, nourishing the false self or the „I“.

The advice to find the answer by letting go is, well, intriguing but hard to accept. Does that mean we should stop asking? Stop doing anything?

U.G. Krishnamurti, one of the modern enlightened Indian teachers, probably the weirdest of them all, literary advised people to stop asking silly questions and give up the futile search. He told them to go home and wait because „if you are (un)lucky, the enlightenment will happen soon.“ Maybe that is the same message the Indian monk wanted to convey to Mr. Grimes.

U.G. was not particularly successful. People kept coming. If you are infected with mumukshuta, and (un)fortunately many are, it is hard to sit at home and wait.

The existence of texts like Vivekachudamani, and the fact that despite the delicacy, paradoxes, misunderstanding, and all the history behind us, people are still asking themselves the same question, tells us that the problem will not disappear by itself. Letting go is not an option if that means stopping asking and searching.

Nevertheless, letting go is a piece of good advice and a correct procedure. It is evident that we are doing something to reality, something that transforms it into an illusion. Maybe it's not intentional, but still, some activity is going on. Letting go would mean that we stop whatever we are doing. Perhaps, this „wrong“ thing with the creation of illusion is happening by itself by the very nature of life. It is possible because it is happening everywhere and to everyone. If so, maybe it is not wrong at all. Perhaps it should be like that. On the other hand, our question is the valid one: who are we? It is just as natural as this strange, secretive process that turns our reality into a story.

Something is going on. We are doing something or are exposed to some processes which we have to „let go“ or stop them. If we turn our backs on that and return to our everyday life, that would not mean we are letting go. Doing nothing, changing nothing, is not letting go. Quite the contrary, we would continue to do the same thing over and over again.

It is quite evident what Vivekachudamani wants us to do. We should develop the discerning ability – a viveka – so that we can be able to see what is wrong. At the present moment, we don't see it. Most of the things happening in our manomayakosha are on auto-pilot. It's all a blur.

That must change. Once we change it, we'll be able to notice the wrongful activity leading to the creation of an illusion. Then, and only then, we can let it go. Left to itself, without the support of our mind, the illusion will fall on the ground like a dropped handkerchief. After that, we will be free to turn around and leave the room.

***

Next Chapter: The Weakness of the Mind