“Grow up or Die”

….. Jeeze man. Kinda blunt?

When i first heard this, it upset it. Pissed me off. Every instinct i have about defense, pride and ego wanted to scream out “why” it pissed me off.

Luckily- for the sake of my growth- it came from someone i have a lot of admiration and respect for- AND- came at the perfect time in my life. It was also not directly said TO ME. It was a general statement. Like a choice. Grow up, or, die-

The reason i think it really made sense after my anger calmed down- was i had already been trying to die- for years. A slow suicide of harming myself through active addiction. I KNEW how to do that. Did it well. Professional you might say. And nothing to be proud of. The only thing it ever got me was Institutionalized.

So grow up? …..Again- im angry.

”What does that mean!? I am a grown man, i take care of things, i work hard, i pay my bills, i feed my family and put a roof over their heads!”

Defense. Pride. Ego.

I have been teaching my son, who is 12 at the time of writing this, for YEARS the answer to this question:

”How do you know when you are an adult?”

He can answer you right away now.

”When you are able to take care of your responsibilities without being told to”

See the wild thing about being an “adult” or “of legal age” is that after that point- you can do whatever you want and no one can tell you any different.

Eat the entire cheesecake at 9pm by yourself? yep
Stay up until 4 am when you have to work at 6 am? yep
Not have a job and live under the bridge on the streets? yep
Use dope until your body gives out and your overdose? yep
Let drugs completely consume your life until nothing else matters? Yeah. that too.

No one is going to stop you. In fact- here comes the ambulance to save you and Mom to give you a place to stay AGAIN.

Being of legal age does not make you a responsible adult- a “grown up”. I didnt become an adult until i was 28- and i realized what service to others meant, and how my actions effected everyone around me. Was not until 32 that i realized there were Laws for a REASON.

I share this all with you to share a piece of humble pie. Sometimes we need to set aside ego and pride, and realize we are acting like little kids still- not owning our actions. Not being resonsible without being told to do so.

Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

I am trying to live with Integrity today- for myself- and everyone around me.