There’s a tendency I’ve noticed on the mats.
It’s prevalent mostly among male blue belts and white belts. And it’s made worse by strength and bad ideas about aggression, dominance, and winning.
You grip up with one of these eager, energetic grapplers, and you feel their center of gravity dip. Tension radiates from them like a forcefield. One of their inner springs has been wound so tightly and it’s about to snap.
You brace for impact.
The impact of a heel bone into your temple.
An elbow into a soft spot between your ribs.
A finger jabbed squarely into your eye.
What’s happening here, other than undue bodily harm?
The eager, energetic grappler doesn’t even know what they’re about to do. And most of the time, they genuinely feel sorry when it’s over.
Maybe you see this all coming and you take the opportunity to offer some sage wisdom.
Relax, you tell them.
Relax.
Relax?
What the fuck does that even mean?, the eager grappler wonders. Relax. Relax while you’re trying to crush me, submit me, smother me with your hairy chest? You relax. And put on a fucking rash guard.
Telling the eager grappler to relax is like telling a toddler to do algebra. The toddler might know a few numbers, but they certainly can’t solve for X.
This is one of Jiu Jitsu’s gargantuan meta-problems. The inability to relax, to be present to the dynamics of a roll, is one of the most intractable roadblocks to learning. I’ve seen some people make it all the way to brown belt and they still can’t relax.
As instructors, how do we foster the experience of relaxation in Jiu Jitsu? How do we create the right conditions? How do we teach students to be at ease in chaos?
I think it starts with creating the experience, not talking about it.
Category: Building
Tag: Knowing the Student/Student Knowing Themself
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