It has been more than half a year since I wrote the book "GRE reading question source essence". Until the deadline of last month, the picture reflected in my mind is the learning process of myself and my friends over the years. I used to think: time is the most dynamic thing in the world, and other people, things and knowledge are relatively static objective existence; Now it is not: everything in the world is constantly evolving, only time is relatively static, and the length of every second, minute and day it brings us is always constant. In the face of time that we are unable to change, the only thing we can do is to cherish it. Only by trying to maintain a relatively static state between ourselves and time, may we realize our self-worth. Frankly speaking, I was not a language genius since I was a child. I learned English from the fourth grade of primary school to junior high school, high school and University, and my grades were almost never better. At that time, I didn't care, because I didn't think this thing would have much impact on me at all; Living in Beijing, it's OK to find a job and do something you like after graduation from university. My classmates in the same university can find similar jobs after graduation. How can I not? This is my psychological portrayal at that time. Time passed faster than other times in wasted time. In a blink of an eye, I spent nearly two years in college with others until I was dragged into the New Oriental GRE class by my best friend. At that time, even the name on the attendance card was not me. When I felt painful and wanted to shrink back when I first came into contact with GRE, my good friend criticized me mercilessly. As a girl majoring in science and engineering, she has such tenacious perseverance, a sense of hunger that she will never be satisfied with herself, and her persistence in the creed of "no pains, no gains" that has been forgotten by us. How does it feel to be a boy who should be a junior at once? How can you have the courage to get a foothold in this society just by thinking about gangsters? To this day, I have always been grateful and respectful to my friend. When people are young, the most valuable wealth is not youth and opportunities, but the ability to fight with many friends who are better than themselves and always do the right things together! After starting the learning process of GRE, I deeply regretted the specious way and process of learning English for many years, and lamented that there are so many excellent talents of the same age around me. Compared with them getting up at seven o'clock every day to recite words and taking a rest at one o'clock at night, I had hoped that the idea of getting a diploma in school and finding an iron rice job to make a living was so humble and vulgar. (inspirational song www.lz13.cn) people living in a social group will be more or less affected by the environment, but it is not IQ that really determines their height, but a person's EQ, especially their tenacity. Deeply aware of the fairness of the future society and market, and knowing that the cost of an individual depends on his knowledge and ability, I forced myself to be inseparable from word books and reading articles from now on People need dreams and a platform to launch them. In today's competitive society, there are too many invisible pressures that make us comply with some established social rules. Some people want to achieve success quickly and step up to the sky, while others want to spend their lives smoothly and steadily; Some people resolutely choose to study abroad in order to win higher degrees and acquire more knowledge; Some people try their best to take the postgraduate entrance examination, take the civil service examination and enter public institutions in order to avoid becoming a group of "white-collar workers floating in the north". No matter what the final result is, at least under the pressure of life, study and the future, people can always overcome themselves through struggle and persistence. Dream is a kind of transcendence of ourselves, and the platform to launch the dream is the harsh environment that once made us die or die. Maybe it is in response to the sentence "happiness comes with disaster, and disaster comes with happiness" in Chinese nonlinear philosophy. Therefore, people who get out of the trough can often better help others walk the same path. Like many people, I also believe in the power of process, which is the most important reason why I write this book. I have seen too many people close the skylight of their dreams with their own hands. People are always prone to doubt their choice when they encounter difficulties, mistakenly believing that persistence is a fallacy of "not hitting the south wall and not looking back", so they choose to stop at GRE, which is a pity. I know well that when a student with weak English foundation reads GRE articles, he is stunned and helpless, as well as disgust and rejection for the obscure meaning. Therefore, from the day I stepped onto the New Oriental GRE platform, I decided to help every student who chose this path continue to walk in a scientific and efficient way, and never dared to slack off one day. "Courage never fades away", which is also my unchanging belief. Time can take away our youth, wealth and power, but the only thing that can't be taken away by the passage of time is the brilliance of courage. With the courage and calm that Mount Tai collapsed in front and stood still, we have the opportunity and possibility to conquer everything.

In primary and junior high schools in the United States, there will be a place called the home room, where students must call the roll or listen to the notice before class every day. So students will have a period of time at the beginning of each day to think about their schedule, catch up with friends, or knock out a few tasks. Many successful people will arrange a home room time at the beginning of each day in their own schedule. For Craig Newmark of Craigslist, David Karp of Tumblr, Tony Robbins, a master speaker, and brain Tracy, a professional writer, the first hour of each day may be a little different. Here is the first item on their daily task list:

Many people think that outstanding talents are very far away from themselves. In fact, by studying the life context of those who have made outstanding achievements, we will be surprised to find that those outstanding people are surprisingly similar in many aspects. Moreover, as long as we work hard, we can also have the qualities they have, and we can also make ourselves an outstanding person. An outstanding talent must be hungry for knowledge and cutting-edge technology. Usually, people think that an outstanding talent doesn't need to work hard anymore, just think about it casually. In fact, an outstanding talent will always be hungry, obsessed with the latest knowledge and technology, and will always devote all his energy selflessly. That anxious hunger makes them regard the hard work as the joy of life, and chew every bone of technology like a hungry wolf. Are you a person full of cooperative spirit? An outstanding talent must be a member of an excellent team and a musician. In this knowledge and technology intensive era, a person's ability and technology is only a small part of the strategy of the machine. Your wisdom must be completed through the cooperation between members. This year's Nobel Prize, many of which were awarded to three scientists, because they learned from each other's research results when completing their projects. Even if this kind of reference is not direct, your achievements also implicitly reference others. Therefore, an outstanding talent today must be a group of musicians, a team member who works hard without complaint and contributes silently without complaint. Savvy is a necessary condition for an ordinary talent to grow into an outstanding talent. Ordinary talents are the model of implementing the spirit of superiors, while an outstanding talent is the understanding of superiors, the bypass of new knowledge and technology, and the ability to draw inferences from one instance. Savvy is a necessary condition for a person to make achievements. Savvy is not directly related to academic background. A person who is gloomy cannot become an outstanding person. An outstanding talent must be full of passion, must always be excited about his goal, and must always infect everyone around him. An outstanding talent is always full of selfless worship and enthusiasm for his career, full of a sense of glory, and exudes charming power all the time. Tenacity is a necessary quality for outstanding talents. If a person does not have indomitable courage, fearless heroism, and the courage to despise difficulties, he cannot do anything, and these qualities are tenacity. When a person has a firm foundation in the depths of his heart, what difficulties and frustrations, what failures and frustrations, are just temporary clouds, what strength can stop the pace of progress? No matter what kind of industry you are engaged in, no matter what stage of your life you are in, diligence is an essential element for an outstanding talent. Only diligence can maximize the benefits of limited time. Only diligence can make full use of all wisdom. In the home of outstanding talents, there is absolutely no place for lazy people and opportunists. There are definitely some keywords that belong to successful talents, but these keywords must be essential. These qualities constitute the basic connotation of outstanding talents. It can be said that it is these qualities that make them outstanding and stand out from the crowd.

Have you ever lamented that you have made so many efforts, but you haven't seen success yet? Why? Perhaps it is not others or your own weaknesses that hinder you. So what are these fatal weaknesses?

The career is very long. For an enterprise, it needs you to become a professional, but from the perspective of career development, you need to become a versatile person to adapt to social changes. There are many bad habits that hinder you from becoming a versatile person. Sometimes we like to pursue advantages and avoid disadvantages. Procrastination makes it difficult to achieve our goals. From now on, you should try to find all kinds of environments and habits that make you uncomfortable. Don't be afraid of pain. With the emergence of pain, there will be room for growth. There are two kinds of people in this world, one is the strong, the other is the weak. The strong find their own discomfort, the weak find their own comfort. If you want to become stronger, you must learn the necessary skill of the strong, that is to make discomfort comfortable. If you learn this skill, you can do many things, such as overcoming procrastination, fitness, learning new languages, exploring the unknown, and so on. But many people tend to avoid this kind of discomfort. After all, nothing is simple. They need to make a lot of efforts, endure a lot of pain, and even make themselves black and blue. I used to think we should make ourselves comfortable, but later I realized that some discomfort is sometimes not a bad thing. In fact, you can learn to enjoy this discomfort. For example, I do some strength training every day. Although this discomfort is not serious enough to annoy me, people are like this. We can always find excuses to avoid difficulties. I make a plan form to let this discomfort participate in my life and form a habit. Every time I finish 15 pull ups, I will write 15 in the pull up column. I will change new paper every month and summarize the situation of last month. Inadvertently, I have done 1000 pull ups in a few months. I found that anything that is a little uncomfortable can be trained. We can turn an uncomfortable thing into a habit, and then you can't leave it. I think this little pain is actually a spice in ordinary life. The cause of discomfort becomes comfortable, and good habits are formed in this way. The specific methods are as follows: Find something you want to do. It will make you a little uncomfortable, but you will gain a lot after it is done. For example: fitness. You can break it down into 1000 separate events, and make sure that each event is within the discomfort level you can tolerate. You can test your tolerance to the best of your ability, and then subtract 20% from this value. For example, if I want to do 10000 pull ups, I will divide them into 1000, that is, 10 at a time. Start doing it, and don't force yourself to challenge it as a pleasure. As your ability increases, gradually increase the weight. For example, after one month, you can achieve 15, and after three months, you can achieve 25. So, 10000 seems to take 1000 days to complete, in fact, you may have finished it in 9 months. The essence of this method is to decompose a great pain into 1000 small discomfort, then integrate it into daily life, cultivate it into a habit, and turn discomfort into comfort. We can improve our ability, change some bad habits and cultivate some good habits through the above methods.

1、 I don't want to The reason why you don't want to do it is that you haven't reached the end of the mountain for the time being, and you don't have to do it. You still have a choice to make, there is room for maneuver, and you can make choices according to your own wishes. The reason why you don't want to do it is because you are afraid of the whole seemingly difficult process and have no confidence in the possible results. But not every ideal result can have an attractive opportunity at the beginning. You can see the future at a glance, and then put all your eggs in one basket. The same is true of opportunities. When they first appear around you, they are usually far from as beautiful as you think. They are like a piece of rough jade. Only when they are carefully carved can they show their luster. In discovering beautiful things, many people only look at the surface and use perceptual thinking to select. We are always used to having a great purpose before we pay and invest. We do not do anything that is not good or that has little return, but we often lose the insight to see the essence through the phenomenon. Laziness is the poison of life and the gene of failure. No one wants to bite the hard bone, but life is not picky for you, and failure and suffering will not wait for you to knock when you are ready. You don't want to do it. There are many people who want to do it. When you want to do it, they have already done it. You don't need to do it. There are many things that you don't want to do. Everyone has their own negative feelings of fear of difficulties, but don't want to do it doesn't mean you don't have to do it forever. 2、 I had no idea Unexpectedly, it is probably your excuse for your failure and your excuse for all imperfections. There are still a few things in Baimi. There are always many things you can't imagine, but nothing will happen or not happen because you can't imagine. For the same event, you didn't expect it to succeed, so you can't do your best; You didn't expect it to fail, so you are more likely to take chances. You take "unexpected" as the reason for success, and attribute all the occasional and inevitable connections to luck. Unexpectedly, it is impossible to do it, let alone do it well. No one can predict the future, and no one can control the present. There are many unexpected things. You can't imagine the unexpected benefits brought by the completion of the set goals, let alone the unpredictable risks associated with each link. You can't think of it, but someone always wants it and does it well. Things are in constant motion and change, and any opportunity is left to the resourceful and prepared mind. When you really think of it one day, the opportunity may no longer favor you. When looking at problems, some people like to observe the surface of things and make analysis and judgment based on experience; Some people pry into the essence and go deep into its marrow. Even though things are ever-changing, only through careful consideration and implementation of future decisions can we have more possibilities to achieve. 3、 I tried my best The reason why you feel like doing your best is that you feel sorry for yourself and moved by yourself in the face of the established results; It is your psychological state of self satisfaction by comparing your current results with your previous achievements. But perhaps the source of this sense of satisfaction is that if you take a few more steps than before, increase a few percentage points, lift more weight and make more efforts, you will already be overwhelmed and can't bear to add weight. The greatest potential of a person is to discover another new self in constant transcendence. If you don't dare to beat yourself and don't break the limit, you will never know how much energy you have. If you are blindly satisfied with the status quo, you will easily be defeated by reality. What's more, in this predatory society, it doesn't mean that if you try your best, you can have plenty of food and clothing and rest easy; It doesn't mean that if you try your best, you can avoid responsibility and get everyone's understanding. People who are better than you are trying their best to catch up, and people who are better than you are also trying to persist. You will not be eliminated unless you keep forging ahead and surpassing. Otherwise, we will be beaten if we lag behind. This is an indisputable truth. Trying hard is not equal to doing your best. Maybe you still have unknown potential waiting to burst out. You need to find a flowing outlet for it. Success always belongs to people who strive for self-improvement. If you do more, your life may be different. 4、 It's impossible The reason why you feel impossible is that you lack self-confidence, blindly defend yourself, and underestimate your energy and value. This is your arbitrary positioning. Before you put it into practice, you will be crushed by your own will. Such people have pure motivation when they are in trouble. They only fight with preparation and confidence. They always refuse to take risks. They never dare to try easily and dare not challenge themselves. Refusal means that you will lose more opportunities. If you dare not turn the "impossible" into "possible", restrictions are everywhere. Therefore, your life can only be limited to the height of self judgment, and you will never be able to jump. If you want to reach a higher position, you should have greater ambition and perseverance. There is no physical difference between people. They are all over a hundred kilograms of meat. They are biologically the same. The difference is in the soul. How big your spiritual world is, how broad your vision is, and how broad your life is. The boundary of a person's career lies in his heart. If you want to ensure the continuous growth of the boundary of your career, you must expand the boundary of your soul. The stage is as big as the heart. There are not so many impossibilities in life. Self confidence creates miracles. If you want to succeed, you must have an undefended mind and bravely make every "impossible" possible. Then the perfect life "possible" belongs to you. 5、 No one helped me The reason why you feel isolated is mostly the result of your own life management. Some people find their way from one side to the other, and they are all powerful. Some people walk with difficulty and run into a wall everywhere. This is the projection of your self-worth on the social stage, reflected in your personality charm. It is a mutual principle and an emotional bond between people to give back the love of others. No one was born with you as the center, only to help you; And no one will take the trouble to be your Savior, except your parents. So if someone is willing to help you, it is a blessing of care; Even if there is no one to help, it is your duty. You don't have to complain about it. This is not the root cause of failure. There are many factors for success. It is not that people lose faith and give up their pursuit without help. If no one helps you, you can also learn to enrich yourself, enrich your heart, improve your ability and realize the odds of winning. There are many roads in life, and many roads are only suitable for you. Everything can only be accomplished by cooperating with others. Such people are not mature. Only by pursuing not to be attached to anyone can you get freedom in the true sense. At any time when there is no way to go, you can still trust your strength without help. Just like wearing a life buoy, you will never learn to swim; Only by breaking free of the reins can a horse gallop thousands of miles. 6、 It's none of my business In the face of punishment for mistakes and responsibility, in order to avoid possible risks and avoid unnecessary relationships, we often become cowardly and indifferent. We always like to use the sentence "it's none of my business" to try to get rid of the relationship and let others become scapegoats. But at the time of harvest, reward and reward based on merit, you can always sharpen your head. Even for small profits, you should be righteous and stand up as a "hero". In the real society we live in, there is no clear boundary. As an independent individual in a social group, your existence is always inextricably linked with your surrounding environment. You should believe that all the people you meet are due arrangements, and your destiny is also in them. There will always be a change and transcendence, starting from the current situation. Therefore, you can not be short-sighted, easily refuse anyone's request, and cut off your own way back. Every inch has its advantages. Everyone should depend on the outside world to survive. Helping others is a virtue of kindness, and your path will be widened in good deeds. In the face of the law of constant movement and development, you have to learn to bow your head, but those selfish and narrow-minded in the past will only make you have no way to go. Therefore, those who can achieve great things must be brave and responsible; A man with his hands in his pockets will never climb the ladder of success.

I met Chao Ge at the wechat backstage. He is an oncologist. He said that every day there were endless operations and medical records, and he was very tired all day. During that time, I got up at six o'clock every morning, replied to the backstage news one by one, and said good morning to my strange friends. He saw it and replied, "morning, I'm going to go to the hospital in a while. I hope the good mood this morning can infect those patients." I will also be infected by his positive attitude, full of energy all day. Today, I talked with him about his patients. He said that sometimes I feel that life is really helpless. Some sick people can live a few more years through timely treatment, but they refuse treatment for their children's houses and cars. I was surprised and asked him why? He said that this is a reality, because houses and cars are bought for children, which is more realistic and promising, and seeing a doctor and having an operation is to pay money to suffer. Many people are biased against cancer and think that the disease cannot be cured. In addition, medical treatment is too expensive now. How much money can those farmers who live in small places all their lives save! This instinct to survive and the suffering of illness are really unspeakable pain. I can understand the pain. Because the woman who loves me as much as life has suffered such pain, and I have struggled for more than half a year. Although things eventually developed in a good direction, I still have a string in my head and dare not relax easily. Every time I talk to her, I blurt out the first sentence: how are you today? She said, don't always worry about me. There are many people in my family to take care of me. On the contrary, if you are alone, you should pay more attention to your own affairs and find a person who really loves you. Don't always work so hard. Remember to relieve yourself. Do you remember what I used to tell you? I immediately replied, remember, health first, family second, work third, I remember. How dare I forget what your mother said! She laughed loudly on the phone and scolded me: you are the poorest. You are still young. Don't always read me every day like an old woman. If you go on like this, you will get sick even if you are not ill. In fact, what she doesn't know is that I am really afraid, so I want to read her several times every day, listen to her voice, go home with her more, and try my best to make her proud. Chao Ge said that he didn't understand what people are trying to do now? In the face of suffering and pain, there will always be people who choose to escape, retreat and give up. In order not to drag down their children, some parents finally choose to give up treatment, and their children may also hesitate. But they are the people who give you life! Many people work hard to earn money, but lose their original intention of life and forget that work is to make themselves and their families live a better life. Maybe some people try their best to win the world, but they may lose their parents, lovers and health. So, what was your previous effort for? A few days ago, I saw a news report that another enterprise employee died of fatigue. I remember the first time I saw such news. It's hard for me to understand why people die when they work. Is it really hard to die? But later I found that, on the one hand, we really want to prove ourselves, want to be promoted and raised, and want a good life. On the other hand, it's because we don't love ourselves at all. Grandma said that your generation will no longer be like us. There may be days when you don't have enough to eat, don't wear warm clothes and are afraid of being killed by devils when you go out. You can live whatever you want, but it's not a good day when you have money, power and power. One of my senior sisters told me that she didn't like Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou. The reason was that she felt that she could live a lifetime as well as a lifetime. Why did she have to be so tired. You want more and pay more, so I just want to live safely and comfortably with the people I love. Sometimes life doesn't have so much pressure. It's just that we want too much, but our ability can't match our desire. That's why we suffer, suppress and torture ourselves. But ask yourself, do you really need so many famous watches? Do you really want so many beautiful clothes and bags? Because we haven't got it yet, we have been pursuing it. I tried my best to make myself work hard, to let my parents see me become a talent early, to bring honor to the family, to become an example for my sister, to reassure my grandmother and make my grandfather proud. But I also know clearly that my ability is limited, and I can't do great deeds and heroes, so I can only force myself to do more, work harder and work harder. I think that many people must have the same thoughts as me. If I don't force myself, how can I feed myself, take care of the people I love, and know how much I can do? Therefore, there must be no fault in trying. But most of the time, don't try just for the sake of trying. Ask yourself why I should try, and then go on unswervingly. The long road of life, you have to walk slowly, so as not to miss those beautiful scenery. You should know how to cherish everything now. Don't give up the beauty at hand because of those glittering things, such as love, family affection and yourself.

01 There is an old classmate. Every time I watch her social media, I feel "so stressed". This student resigned from his former unit a few years ago and started a small company. Because he has been promoting his own products, he has paid a lot of attention on Weibo. But recently, I have always seen her send long and long microblogs, telling her how difficult her business has been recently, and how hard it has been without a stable income after her resignation. I paid for the promotion, but I had to beg for people everywhere because I was not famous. I had to pay for the return fee when invited by some famous brands. But other families not only didn't have to pay the road fee, but also got the appearance fee So all the fans know that she has spent all her savings in order to do business and is still unable to make ends meet Every word is full of blood and tears. Unfortunately, even so, the sales of her products are still poor. A few years ago, she was still a bright girl with high spirits and bright eyes. When she started her business, she was even interviewed by well-known media. I felt very sad to see her posting these microblogs. I felt even more distressed to see her complaining about the "mercenary" business. I really feel that life is very hard, so I can't stop saying this. There is also an online celebrity who I have paid attention to for a long time and opened a Taobao store. Every time a new product comes into the market, I will send a long article to tell about the difficulties of opening a store and the grievances of dealing with a clothing factory... Her reading of each article is considerable, but when it comes to sales, it is far lower than her expectation. After thinking for a long time, the girl suddenly realized that it was not easy for her to write about herself in her articles, but for fans (or customers), why should they pay for these things? What they care more about is whether the product is useful to them. She quickly adjusted her publicity strategy, began to promote the product itself more, and her sales began to rise steadily. 02 Recently, I read a novel lonely novelist. The novelist in the book has been writing for ten years. Except for his maiden work, he has never been printed. Only in the tenth year, he won the Japanese literature award. When attending the award ceremony, a reporter asked his son: "what kind of father is dad at home?" The son replied, "I often say to myself at home that I can't write, I can't sell books, and I have no talent." All the reporters roared with laughter. Such roast and complaints can only be said at the time of success. No matter how much you say, it is just a miserable sale in the eyes of others. Anyone who decides on his own life path should understand that life is never an exchange of equal value, and pay and return can never be accurately measured. Many people are still unknown after years of hard work, and many people become rich overnight and become famous overnight. Everyone will have a time of pain and suffering, but these heartaches, to tell others, are not a kind of spoiled. The most miserable thing is that even if you are spoiled, others will not buy it. There is no need to turn it over to others when we do anything and experience difficulties. What you show is your real pain. When it falls into the eyes of others, it is so straightforward and bleeding. Will there be a pleasant impression? The customers who are attracted by selling miserably and exposing their pities will only think that they are your almsgiving people, and will not recognize your value at all. Is this what you hope to get after years of hard work? 03 For a while, I was very busy at work and always worked late. I unconsciously complained in my circle of friends that I worked late at 10 o'clock today, missed the last bus, took a taxi home at 11:30 and chatted with my master... I often complained that there was too much work and chaos, and I felt so hard. Finally one day, a sister asked me: do you think the things that your friends circle send are of any benefit? I was a little confused and said: I didn't think it would be any good. I just threw up a slot She sighed, and then solemnly told me: if I were your leader, I would not think you were very diligent when I saw you show overtime and work hard from time to time. On the contrary, the leaders will think, is there too much and too difficult work assigned to you? You need to spend so long to do it. You are often too tired to live. You will also doubt your ability. Next time, you dare not hand over important and complex things to you, because you may not be able to do it. Then she asked: have your leaders praised you for your tireless efforts every day? I said weakly: No She said very seriously: I understand that you really feel hard. You want to act like a spoiled child in a circle of friends. However, you can only act like a spoiled child to your family and close friends. There are so many people in your circle of friends. Who do you show it to? Any hardship of adults can only be borne by themselves. There is no need to tell others, and others don't care. What your boss cares about is how much money you make for the company. Can those strangers in your circle of friends pay you? 04 I want to tell everyone that I have worked hard and made too much effort. More often than not, I don't want to prove my ability, but just make an excuse for my dissatisfaction. It seems that all the poor performance and not bright enough report cards can be comforted and forgiven by others who say "it's not easy to let him alone". But who in this world is really easy to live? In the talent show, contestants from all walks of life often tell how miserable their families are and how difficult it is to pursue their dreams, so as to win the sympathy of the audience and the judges and get a green light. But look, which of those contestants who sell miserably is really popular? On the contrary, it is the artists who are skilled and talented. After they become famous, people can know the unknown past behind them. They know to turn the past turbulent experience into the depth of their eyes, which will become their artistic materials and more profound things in their hearts. Instead of telling others during the interview that I dropped out of high school and needed to support my elderly parents, my family was difficult and unsustainable... If Wang Baoqiang met a director and complained like this, it would probably not be like today. Anyone who chooses any profession or goes to any city comes with full expectations and ambitions. In this process, it is natural to encounter setbacks, hardships, incomprehension, indifference and betrayal. What adults need to do is to be responsible for their every choice. Some people choose to accept it, and then work silently to get the respect and feedback that others should give with their own abilities and talents; Some people, however, indulge in preaching their hard work, the coldness of others and the unfairness of the world day by day. They feel sorry for themselves and hesitate to move forward. Then they are left far behind without knowing it. No one can be recognized and respected by others for no reason. If you want to prove your value, you need to make a special achievement. Don't blame the world for being too utilitarian. Everyone is busy. No one is willing to watch your embarrassment and trivialities. What we care more about is what you have paid so much and what is worth paying for.

A few days ago, I specially took time to accompany my mother to her classmate party. On the one hand, out of curiosity, what is the difference between people who graduate from the same school after more than 20 years? When I saw you a few days ago, I found that everyone's living conditions are indeed different. Aunt Chen is my mother's former deskmate. She is a beauty and a bully. She is strict with herself. Even at the age of half a hundred, she has always insisted on sports and looks younger than her peers. Uncle Dacheng used to like foreign languages very much. He reads English with tapes after class every day. After graduation, he just caught up with the bonus period of the foreign trade industry. After working as a translator for several years, he is now the boss of the team. Aunt Lingzi didn't like to use her brain when she was young. After marriage, she liked playing mahjong and kept her "iron rice bowl". As a result, she was laid off in the 1990s and became a housewife at home. Uncle Amin drank too much after work. Now he has alcoholic liver and looks haggard. ...... On the way home, my mother smiled and said: you see, everyone's current life state is shown on their faces. This also makes me wonder: what makes people win thousands of miles in the more than 20 years after graduation? What makes people lose this long run of life? I learned from the conversation that uncles and aunts who are now living well have always been self disciplined in hard mode in the early stage of their life. It is precisely because of their sense of self-discipline that they can open up a new road, avoid the "laid-off tide" and usher in an enviable life in the later stage. Once read a book "the road few people take", said: in a sense, life is a road of self-cultivation, and those who are really enviable have a very important quality - self-discipline. The three principles of self-discipline mentioned in the book have always benefited me a lot in my life and work. Principle 1: postpone satisfaction Some time ago, I encountered a bottleneck in my work. I always habitually procrastinate until I can't help it, so I reluctantly submit the work task before deadline. I recalled my usual work habits. I always finish the easy and favorite work in the first hour of work, and always try to avoid difficult tasks in the rest of the time. Later, I changed my strategy and gave priority to those troublesome tasks in the first hour of work. So in the rest of the time, other work will become relatively easy. Facts have proved that this strategy is effective. One hour of pain plus seven hours of happiness is certainly better than seven hours of pain plus one hour of happiness. This is called delaying satisfaction, not seeking temporary comfort, and resetting the order of happiness and pain in life. Facing problems, feeling pain, then solving problems and feeling the greatest happiness is the only feasible way of life. For example, the habit of gnawing hard bones first, such as doing difficult problems first and eating bad things first, is widely regarded in the West as a harbinger of success in the future. The best way in the world is always downhill. Those who actively turn on hard mode are destined to enjoy the greatest happiness in the near future. Principle 2: Responsibility When I was in the coffee shop at the weekend, I overheard two girls complaining in roast. A girl complained about her department's boss. In the morning, the customer complained, and the big leader had to be held accountable. It was clearly her boss's work mistake, and she inexplicably became a scapegoat. Another girl has been persuading her not to be angry with people who are not worth it, constantly comforting her, and finally persuading her not to investigate after she goes back and do her job well. As soon as you encounter something, put the responsibility on others and hang high. You must have such friends or colleagues around you. Black American writers have a saying: if you can't solve a problem, you will become a problem. In the face of problems, stand up, or they will exist forever. The difficulty of taking responsibility for personal behavior is that it brings pain, and we want to try our best to avoid it. At the moment of shirking responsibility, you may feel comfortable and happy, but your mind cannot mature and often becomes a burden on the collective and society. Most of those who shirk responsibility want to hand over freedom and power to fate, government and superiors. In order to avoid the pain caused by responsibility, countless people simply give up their rights, which is actually evading freedom. We always feel that we can't change the status quo, so we have self doubt. In fact, our ability is far stronger than we think. We are absolutely capable of taking responsibility for all our choices and lives. Principle 3: maintain balance Self discipline is hard and complex work. You need to have enough courage and judgment. The highest principle of balance is to give up. When I was 9 years old, I just learned to ride a bike and went out to play happily all day. There is a slope near my house, and there is a sharp turn at the downhill. One morning I rode my bike downhill. The feeling of speed can bring me great happiness. But if you press and hold the brake and slow down at that time, that sense of happiness will be greatly reduced. So I rode to the corner below without slowing down. As a result, a few seconds later, I was thrown a few meters away. I was lying on my back in the grass. There were many wounds on my body and my bike hit a tree. Giving up something will certainly bring pain to the heart. At the age of 9, I was greedy for the feeling of fast speed and refused to give up the temporary sense of happiness in exchange for the balance when turning the corner. Finally, I realized that losing balance is far more painful than giving up. No matter who, when passing through the curve of life, must give up some happiness and part of life. Love is the source of self-discipline Know a couple who are young, smart and artistic. Before marriage, the woman's family was well-off and didn't worry about food and clothing. I worked very hard and graduated from a famous school. The man was ignorant and muddled along. After meeting the woman, he suddenly looked like a different person. He began to strive to improve himself and be strict with himself, just to be worthy of the woman. With his own efforts, the man made some achievements in his career, and finally moved the woman and got married. The power of self-discipline comes from love, and the essence of love is a will. The man turned his love into practical action, self-discipline and reached mental maturity. True love will help you improve yourself. The deeper you love, the higher the degree of self-improvement. epilogue There was once a topic called: what opened the gap between people over a period of time? One of the high votes gave me a very deep impression: People with seemingly unlimited scenery actually work harder than you. I think so. We all know that something different is often boring and repetitive in the manufacturing process, which requires patience. All seemingly beautiful people are based on extremely lonely diligence and self-discipline as a weapon. They are either blood, sweat or a lot of graceful youth. Similarly, when a school graduates from the same starting point, why do the students' meetings present different living conditions more than 20 years after graduation? Because some people always take the initiative in life, know what they want, and then strive to achieve their goals through self-discipline. Others are pushed by life and eventually lose the long run of life. So don't let life control you. Learn to take the initiative to control life.