"There is a kind of poor people who are poor at home. They would rather be at the top of a poor team and be poor all their lives, rather than go to the end of a rich team and be rich for a while." In every Jewish family, when the child is a little sensible, the mother will open the Scripture, dot a drop of honey on it, and then ask the child to kiss the drop of honey on the Scripture. Almost all Jewish children have to answer their mother's same question: "if one day, your house suddenly catches fire, what will you take to escape?" If the child answered money or diamonds, the mother would further ask, "there is an invisible, colorless and odorless baby. Do you know what it is?" If the child can't answer, the mother will say, "child, what you should take away is nothing else, but this baby, which is wisdom. Wisdom can't be robbed by anyone. As long as you live, wisdom will always follow you." Poverty is a feeling of cutting skin without teeth, and wealth is a state of reserve and pride. (inspirational movie www.lz13.cn) the poor admire the results of the rich's accumulation of wealth, but ignore the wisdom of the rich's access to wealth. The transformation from poor to rich is what most people look forward to, but there is no idea and means to get rich. Being rich and rich is just a comforting fantasy. The poor can't just lament their bad fate. The poor can truly achieve the goal of becoming rich only by standing among the rich, absorbing their ideas of becoming rich and matching their successful state. "

At present, many young people are confused - some are confused about college education: they feel that what they have learned is useless, "Newton equation" can not bring jobs and houses; There is confusion about social morality: avoiding loftiness and doubting tradition, while longing for a good moral trend in society; There is confusion about love: very eager for love, but unable to deal with love problems; There is confusion about the future: the lack of faith and the pressure of entrepreneurship and employment make many young people confused about the future. This confusion has something to do with China, which is in economic adolescence, and the era background of rapid growth and emotional fluctuations. How can young people get out of this confusion and find their spiritual belonging? Strengthening skills may be a way out, that is, like a laser, focus on one point, focus on things and things, and practice repeatedly. There are many kinds of skills: production, marketing, service, administration, finance, research and development, art... Each professional post corresponds to a professional skill, but only the skills that can compete with people in the market are "effective skills". Skills are also an important link, through which you can make friends with relevant majors, have a common language, and can improve each other. Friends with good mental state and positive energy will bring happiness and inspiration to themselves. Only by strengthening skills can we be happy. When you devote yourself to studying a skill, you will have a direction in your heart and a place for your energy. Concentration makes you quiet and down-to-earth. The improvement of skills is also accompanied by the joy of growth and inner happiness. The spiritual outlook will be completely different after the great increase of passion and energy. To strengthen your skills, you need to focus. The popularity of iPad and iPhone stems from its distinctive appearance, humanized operation, multi touch technology, etc. behind it is the perfection of every skill, the ultimate pursuit of consumer experience, and the perfect crystallization of highly focused skills. Of course, to strengthen your skills, you need to constantly learn relevant books, make relevant friends, and strengthen your majors and preferences. College students who have just started working often pay attention to the "big things" considered by leaders and even superiors, and are unwilling to do small things and go deep into them. My suggestion is to do big things like lifting heavy weights, small things like walking on thin ice, and to do one line of work, love one line of work, and concentrate on one line of work. At present, many people in the society are not working for skill improvement, but just for making money. This is actually because the sense of professional honor is weakening and utilitarian thoughts are growing, which will eventually lead to spiritual desolation and spiritual emptiness, and from the most practical point of view, making less money. It is imperative to strengthen the sense of professional honor. Only by strengthening skills can young people find spiritual belonging. Only those who regard work as art and creation can realize the release of potential and finally achieve themselves. In fact, the confusion of youth is not unique to China. In the era of rapid economic development and rapid cultural change, the youth of many countries have encountered this confusion. For example, the European and American youth in the 1960s have also been collectively confused and explored - where is the spiritual destination? Hippies, sexual liberation and other movements were once a solution, but in the end they didn't work. However, a generation of young people represented by Germany and Switzerland finally walked out of confusion. The method is very simple, that is, concentrate on studying a skill, be meticulous, keep improving, and pursue the perfection and perfection of the skill. Even a small workshop is exquisite; Even a family inherited brand pursues refinement and personalization. The value of strengthening skills is a sense of professional honor. In a good society, as long as you do your job almost perfectly, you will be fully respected, and you can experience professional honor and happiness. Pursuing the best skills can not only pursue your spirit, but also create value and contribute to the society. While meeting material needs, it can change impetuousness and shortsightedness. After the skills of the whole people are improved, they must improve their ability to innovate and promote change and invention.

Who has blocked my excellence and my happiness? At this time, I feel so sad! My old friend said that my set of unsubstantiated psychological theory is bubble oolong. I want to prove it to him at this moment, because I believe that I will not be depressed. The loss at this time is only a rare moment, and I should cherish it. From the perspective of Buddha nature, worry is wisdom. With the mentality of everything going with fate, I shouldn't waste my wisdom at this time, so I plan to record my "wisdom" at this time with notes, and I'm bored at this time. Recalling what I did today, I didn't succeed. I warned myself not to compromise with bad habits when I got up in the morning. I have been working hard in the morning. Although I have the heart to peek at the forum from time to time, being able to resist is to move forward in difficulties. Work is to constantly overcome obstacles. I think I can do it well. In the afternoon, I couldn't help sharing how much I treated life: Did you deceive the world, or did the world deceive you? Is it someone else who is sorry for you, or did you cheat others? Is the environment affecting you, or do you affect the environment? Did you finish the work, or did it make you? Is worry against you, or do you find trouble? Is everything bad for you, or is everything good for you? Are problems always difficult for you, or do you not think about problems? Are you influenced by habits, or are you influenced by habits? Did you find the enemy, or did the enemy find you? Did I affect the environment, or did the environment affect me? What I want to tell the world is that we deceive life, but we feel that life deceives us. Because we think life is boring, life becomes boring. Life is a mirror, you laugh, it also smiles; You cry, it also cries. I tell a story: three people went to the spring to drink water. The first one drank water in a gold bowl, the second one drank water in a clay bowl, and the third one drank water with his own hands. Drinking water in a golden bowl is a worry all day long, afraid of losing the golden bowl; Drinking water in a mud bowl is very self abased and depressed all day long; People who drink with water in their hands are relaxed and comfortable. They are neither worried nor inferior. They are happy every day. In reality, we are so similar to the people in the story. Being able to drink water is the main thing. Everything else is a gift of life. But the two people who get special care from life and have bowls of water are not as happy as the one who drinks water with his hands. My current boss stays abroad for 7-8 months a year, and only stays in the company for 1-2 months when he returns home. In the eyes of others, he is also a successful person, but I think he is not happy because he has a mean attitude towards employees and has no tolerance. I believe that a person who lives a happy life will not make things difficult for employees, nor will he accept the former and the latter two attitudes. After writing the above words, my heart has gradually calmed down and no longer hesitated. But I still want to tell the story with facts. My motto is not to bubble oolong. I want to use my inner experience to prove that it is not the environment that affects me, but I want to affect the environment. Everything that happens will benefit me. This afternoon's life is a little boring, because my old friend said that the unity of knowledge and action is unrealistic, because I didn't explain clearly what is the unity of knowledge and action, and I didn't have data to demonstrate the impact of the unity of knowledge and action in Japan. An article that explains the unity of knowledge and action found on the Internet was also criticized by sly61 (a debater in the Siwen group) for not understanding the essence of Wang Xue and misleading people's children. I don't agree with them, but there is no evidence to prove them wrong, and I don't want to be affected by a chat topic. But no matter how you adjust yourself, the depression has not been waved away. In the evening, it was the time of the story meeting. In the complex mood of depression and rescue, I strung my helplessness in work into a humorous story to share with you. I was very disappointed. Later, the netizen Casa shared a very sad story, and his mood was extremely low! I even feel that I shouldn't join this group, because the reality is so cruel that my cold heart can't recover for a long time. Before going to bed, I asked myself: do I have to be defeated by this life every day? Get a positive answer: this kind of life does not belong to me. I seem to see my old friend despise me in the depths of his heart, and see sly61 laughing at me for not knowing the unity of knowledge and action, and netizens despise me for falling. In a word, I am not reconciled to all this. I want to prove it to them and dispel their contempt for me. I also remembered my motto: it's not trouble that opposes me, it's trouble that I find. Isn't all this my little selfish heart doing something wrong? No one else is in the mood to think about me, no time to remember me, and I am not qualified to be despised by them. People grow up in troubles and increase their ability to solve difficulties. All the difficulties encountered on the way forward are the driving force for my growth. Without suffering, there is no wisdom. Think about it, all this is just a little movie I made and acted by myself. Mr. Yangming is right: nothing outside the heart! I believe in his supreme good and the unity of knowledge and action. I can analyze myself so deeply that I don't bow to evil thoughts. It can be said that I have achieved the supreme good. Being able to sort out my thoughts while recording the process is the unity of knowledge and action. Knowledge is the beginning of action, and action is the achievement of knowledge. And I believe that everything that happens will benefit me. For my use, even if it's trouble! I also believe that I will not be a slave to chat and stories, nor will I be a slave to habits. I also believe that: looking for happiness outside the heart, the farther happiness is from my original, and looking for happiness inside the heart, happiness is within reach. Life has no meaning. I give it meaning. What I do and think is its meaning. Everything will be limited and everything is possible. For those who do not know life, life is a punishment. Descartes' method is "I think so I am". Who blocked my happiness, I asked myself again. The answer is that no one can stop my happiness, except myself! Buddhists say: when one reads a mystery, the Buddha becomes an adult, and when one reads a consciousness, one becomes a Buddha. At this time, I am a Buddha. If my old friend will say I'm in an Oolong again, let him say it.

Sociology majors can not find good jobs, let alone girlfriends On the night of coming to the National People's Congress, elder martial brother chatted with us. He told us that we must study a second major in four years of University. He said that it was not easy to find a job if he only studied sociology. In his freshman year, his roommate took a fancy to a beautiful girl in the foreign language department. He followed the girl to study by himself every day. One day, he came back and sat in bed, smoking but not talking. It turned out that when the girl found out that his major was sociology, she decided not to associate with him. Because the sociology department is too difficult to find a job. I was greatly stimulated, thinking that it had nothing to do with him to find a job, but it was terrible to find a girlfriend. Therefore, we must learn the second major. What major can attract them? At that time, the most unfathomable was the computer major. However, our school had no computer major. So I bought my own books and taught myself programming. Every time you copy an envelope, silently say "six cents" When I came to Beijing to study, I only brought 500 yuan because my family was poor. Before coming to the National People's Congress, I said to myself: I hope I won't ask for money from my family in four years of college. So I became a tutor in the first semester of my freshman year and copied the invitation letter in the first semester of my freshman year. I would write invitations one by one in front of the local yellow pages, fold them up after writing, put them in envelopes, and then seal them with glue. The whole process earned six cents. After copying the envelopes for more than a year, I found that my classmate had made a fortune by publishing books. Inspired by him, I began to sell books. At that time, I rode my bike every day, carrying ten or twenty sample books, and ran to the office building with the book list. Once, I was very lucky and sold ten or twenty books. In my junior year, I began to write programs to make money. At that time, it was very profitable to write programs. Using the evening time to write a set of programs within a month could earn 50000 yuan. By the second semester of my junior year, I had a big brother. One day, I hid behind a tree to make a phone call. A male classmate came to me and asked, "is yours true or false?" At that time, many people pretended to be cool with fake mobile phones. I spent more than 26000 yuan to buy it for real. Failed to start a business and didn't even take away a bowl In my senior year, I want to start a business. I think food is the most important thing for the people. If you want to start a business, you'd better open a restaurant. Near the people's Congress, a very good restaurant I often patronize is about to be transferred. I think the opportunity has come. I took out the 240000 yuan I earned from the post office, ran to the boss behind my back, and negotiated it without bargaining. The restaurant has been operating for half a year. Although I am still making money outside, I am also constantly investing in the restaurant. Later, I had to borrow money from my family. One day, I was in a hurry and went to the restaurant to find out why. Once I checked the accounts, I found that I had lost everything. Later, someone told me, "if you do this, you will have to pay for your bones." I asked, "what happened?" It turned out that the cashier and the chef fell in love, and it was impossible to check the money and vegetables. The young man who bought vegetables kept raising the purchase price. Bean sprouts rose from 80 cents to 2 yuan, and beef from 8 yuan to 17 yuan There is no way but to close the door. At that time, I had no money, so I borrowed more than 100000 yuan from my relatives. I paid off the restaurant's debts and gave each employee two salaries. When I left, I didn't even take a bowl with me. No right or wrong, only management When I left the NPC, I owed more than 200000 yuan. However, as an entrepreneur, my faith and passion have not subsided. I have a lot of doubts, thinking about whether human nature is good or evil. With such doubts, I joined Nippon Life, a Japanese funded enterprise. For more than a year, the biggest education I have received is that people do not have good and evil natures, and there is no managed enterprise. The result is inevitable. I can't blame the restaurant staff. In fact, the result of the restaurant is caused by myself. In Nippon Life, I became a warehouse keeper within half a year. The Japanese told me that there was no word "error" in Japanese, only right and wrong. When I am the warehouse keeper, I will allow errors. For example, for color printing paper of oneortwo cents, five errors are allowed; But the mattress and other products have no concept of error, as long as they are wrong, they will leave. Why is the error of five color printing papers allowed? Because the printing factory can not make 100% accurate paper feeding. This error is not for me, but for the printing factory. Recalling the failure of my restaurant, I not only have to bear the responsibility for the bankruptcy of the restaurant, but also the responsibility for not educating the employees. Who caused it? It was all my fault. If you find out, you'll kill him in a second After that, I worked in a Japanese enterprise for more than a year, and I had reflection. Based on my thinking about people, in the past 16 years in JD, I have used a form in personnel management. This form was not invented by JD. In fact, many enterprises such as GE almost use it. In JD, 50000 employees have to do a 360 degree assessment every year, and this form will be used; We use this form for recruiting management trainees; This form will be used for the promotion, salary increase and, of course, dismissal of employees. Let's talk about the real example of jd.com. Some employees of the company have corrupt practices. Every year, oneortwo employees are found out by the company, or reported by suppliers and partners, and then dismissed after verification. The core of JD values is "Zheng" in one word. I believe many people have a certain understanding of JD. For example, in the early days, we emphasized genuine and licensed goods. As long as you buy something, you will be given an invoice, whether you want it or not. Can you make it cheaper and save some tax money? Sorry, no, JD doesn't provide this service. Three years ago, we started a vice president of the company. He actually took a box from the supplier. The annual salary of the vice president is 1.5 million yuan. If you give him shares, his shares will be worth at least 60 or 70 million yuan. (www.lz13.cn) however, he planted it on a box of about 300 yuan. The supplier said to give you the box. He took it and took it home. As a result, he was reported. After investigation, he was dismissed. This is also caused by inconsistent values. If you take 300 today, you may get 30000 tomorrow. This is the same as when I opened a restaurant. That will lead to the failure of the enterprise. I think some students have participated in Jingdong interview. We have a variety of screening methods and methods. The assessment is more about values. As long as we can be a NPC member, our ability is not so bad. We are better than each other. In fact, the ability of newly graduated students can not be assessed at all, which is an inevitable risk for enterprises. However, the risk of values cannot be taken, so most of our examinations and assessments point to whether the values match JD. From starting a business to going public, JD has experienced ups and downs with numerous difficulties. At the most difficult time, when the first round of financing was spent, I felt that I could not get the money again (financing), and realized that JD was really going to go bankrupt. At that time, JD just started a business for ten years. Since 1998, there have been twoorthree brothers. Some brothers have been with me for nearly ten years. They have been with me for ten years since they graduated from junior college. I believe I only stayed. Many people have never left. However, if the enterprise goes bankrupt, those who have been with me for ten years will have nothing left. Moreover, it will be very difficult for them to go out to find a job again, because they are losers from a closed enterprise. Therefore, the pain in my heart at that time was really indescribable. In less than a month, I grew a lot of white hair. In the past, when I read novels, I saw the plot of worrying about gray hair overnight. When it really happened to me, I had a sense of fear and guilt and shame towards my brothers. Such pain can be said to be unspeakable.

Every year around January 1, my planning disease began to attack again. I will ask myself, how have I accomplished my tasks in the past year, and what will I do in the new year? Because "I like great achievements", a series of volunteers set for myself at the beginning of the year will aggravate my depression at the end of the year. At the beginning of 2014, the topics that I hoped to write were still not written by the end of the year. Looking back, there is inevitably deep frustration and regret. In November, because of the haze in Beijing, I sent my children back to my parents in my hometown to spend two more months alone. I have done a lot of my own things in one breath, I want to read and write, and I have taken care of my health and spirit... During this period, I have realized that the real situation - my frustration stems from my inability to balance, I can't keep up with my efforts, but I have wayward high expectations for some things. The objective facts are there. I just don't want to see them. There is a limit to a person's energy. The input of time, energy and mental effort to a thing is directly proportional to the result. Without making choices and giving up, it's hard for you to talk about the harvest of something alone. Behind this is man's "willfulness". People are emotional, not rational. If you want something, just express what you want, instead of keeping a sober choice on an objective basis and exercising restraint. As I thought at the beginning of last year, I want to try my best to accompany my children, to overcome the bottleneck in my career, to become a person who often brings warmth and intimacy to the circle of friends, and to properly and safely manage all the relationships of diet, health care and financial management at home... But as long as you calm down and allocate your 24 hours, you will know that it really needs a robot to do this. If you go further, you will see the refusal to recognize the "self limit", which may be due to the obsession with various superficial names and identities. I want to be a good mother and a good wife because I feel that I am not good enough. I have to be "someone" before I feel that my self-worth has been proved. The excellent feeling, the sense of control that everything is under control, why is it the state of life I want to hold firmly? Planning may really be a disease. Trying to be "someone" is just because you resist the frustration of being "not someone" right now. The harder you plan, the more dissatisfied you are with yourself. I am ashamed to think of "women should love themselves", which is a rotten saying. As for how to love yourself, today is a lesson. When things came to an end, I really found that I still didn't love myself. I was just asking myself to do something. At the same time, I also asked myself to love myself. I didn't know who I was and what I wanted. I've seen happy people who never make plans. That is an old Chinese doctor. He gets up at 6:30 every morning, makes a Yijinjing, eats a bowl of leftovers from the previous day, and arrives at the clinic at 8 o'clock on time. The patient has been waiting for a room. He changes his clothes and sits down to see a doctor. He tries not to drink water in the middle, for fear that he will not have time to go to the toilet to delay seeing a doctor. Always see a doctor until 2 o'clock. Instead of having lunch, I drink a bowl of millet porridge. And then I left work. This morning and noon, we usually see 180 patients in a row. In the afternoon, I went home to play with my grandson, read medical books and write medical records. Have dinner in the evening, deal with trivial matters, and go to bed around 9 o'clock. He said that he spent every day like this, and the new year's Eve like this, almost without exception. It has been 60 years since then. He is 88 years old. He is vigorous, walks fast and speaks loudly. I asked him if he had any other hobbies and entertainment in life. He said that there was no need for entertainment. I saw some patients every day to deal with some difficult problems. Not everyone was sure. Sometimes I had to try this method. Then I also tried it. I went home and looked at the ancient sage's medical books. I got some gains and insights. I patted my thigh, "Hey, my ancestors didn't cheat me. That's really the case.". That feeling is really happy. He said that one year his daughter had to take him on a trip for only three days. The scenery was good, but he remembered those patients. Once he returned to the clinic, he felt energetic again. Later, he never went on a trip again. The scenery was good and didn't appeal to me. I am ashamed and convinced. This is a real education. The old man "came to life", not out of words. Here, I deliberately did not list his achievements in medicine. Needless to say, you can see how he lives. The tangled inner drama has disappeared in his life. That is the state that everyone really pursues. Happiness is not the ultimate peak happiness, because there must be peaks and valleys. Happiness should be a straight line of emotions and the final cessation of various internal questions. Those who have been struggling in the "who I am, who I want to be, and who I failed to do" drama should come to him to be infected. When you immerse yourself in the pure professional investment like a child, you will understand that in the end, there is no need for any planning. This year, it is not important to write several books and do several projects. It is to find a way of life, which is personalized and only based on your internal psychological kinetic energy. Let the external rhythm resonate with the internal kinetic energy. The source of kinetic energy is the path dependence on happiness that the old man said "Hey, a pat on the thigh". There are two obstacles in the process of admitting "self truth": First, many people do not admit who they are. For example, a person who is interested in learning feels that scientific research does not make money and makes a career plan for the financial industry. They will say that you should not be too idealistic, and then desperately plan what you want to become in a few years, leaving your real momentum of achievement trapped in the bottom of your heart. I think the "truth of self" is objective. If you don't sincerely do something, no matter how scientifically you plan it, your rhythm still can't match the rhythm of that thing. The reason why you don't choose to admit the truth is also very simple, that is, some so-called comparison and analysis during planning. The utilitarian thinking is to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. This survival strategy is just a short-term choice made by ancient humans because of the harsh living environment in nature. "Self truth" is often called "too idealistic" here, but only from the perspective of long-term effect, the key to doing a good job is to conform to the rhythm and kinetic energy of the real self. Second, the sense of rhythm and restraint. As I said, I can't balance the tearing of my energy in various affairs, but I can't stop the perfect disease of trying to do everything well. Therefore, I am obsessed with planning and can't afford failure planning, so I always experience frustration. Sometimes they are lazy, sometimes they are just greedy, and sometimes they are just vain and persistent to excellent roles. To love yourself is not to be the most perfect, but to be true to your inner rhythm. Life has a track that will run by itself. What you can want, what you don't want, what you can achieve, and don't have too many ideas that need immediate results. The most important thing is to cultivate the path dependence on happiness, so as not to be lazy and lazy today, and not to disturb the inner peace because of a little new year's fireworks and other people's comments and eyes. Because you know what great happiness is, you will not be moved by these little indulgences. Chai Jing wrote in the book, "the truth is often lost between tears." I finally admitted that I didn't know myself and didn't intend to really know myself until I was in my thirties. Instead, I said emotionally that I wanted to. Yes, you must exercise restraint. Before tears, the truth of oneself is the most important. A marching song in high spirits in the new year, and a monologue at the end of the year. I don't want to play such an inner drama again. After the new year's Eve in 2015, I wrote in my circle of friends that I also hope to share with all my good friends: "A person can simply live. Do what you like and leave it to time without thinking about anything. Like a drop of water, it just falls. A stone will wear it one day, but water is just unintentional. The ideal of life is to grow into yourself. The key is to hear the rhythm of the drop of water every day. A person can do without planning. Everything is just unintentional and attentive."

We always think we have no choice. But not making any choice is just standing still. It is also a choice, and you can choose not to do this to yourself. Most people always think that not making choices means not making any choices, but in fact, "not making choices" is also a kind of choices, but you just choose not to act. "Opportunities are always available, but without strength, opportunities are not yours." No one has the responsibility to give you opportunities unless you strive for them. In other words, opportunities are won, not waiting. Don't complain about why no one gives you a chance. Instead, ask yourself whether you have enough ability. When the opportunity comes, whether you have enough ability to firmly grasp it. People will always encounter several great opportunities in their life. Don't worry about why the opportunity hasn't come yet. On the contrary, you should worry about whether you have the ability to firmly grasp it when the opportunity comes. When an opportunity comes, usually everyone will have several reactions. 1、 Strive for 2、 Choose not to fight 3、 Let it be 4、 Invisible opportunity Usually, when an opportunity comes, it is yours only when you strive for it. Let it be or not, the opportunity usually slips away. As long as you look around carefully, you can actually find that there are opportunities everywhere, but some people can't see it, some people ignore it, and successful people will actively strive for it. Most people are not actively looking for opportunities, but waiting for an opportunity. Even some people choose to do things that go against their true thoughts because they are afraid to live up to the expectations of others. When we choose to make a choice that meets the expectations of others, it is easy to find out later that this is not what we want. In fact, it's not that we don't have a chance, but that we don't make a choice. As long as we think carefully, we will find that successful people know how to observe the changes around us, and then create opportunities for themselves according to the current situation. For example, in the current network revolution, some people choose to start a business at this time, and then succeed. Some people don't see the opportunity, or are unwilling to change and afraid to bear the consequences of failure, So it's not that I don't have a chance, but that I'm not willing to make a choice. What is more important than opportunity is what actions are you willing to take and what choices are you willing to make? Do you choose to study hard, even if you have to sacrifice an hour of reading every day? Can you choose to get up an hour earlier than others just to do a better job every day? Can you choose to run more customers in order to increase the company's performance? It is our daily choices that make everyone different in life. "A good decision does not depend on the choices you make at the moment, but on the decisions you make. Therefore, people who are not willing to be responsible can never make a good decision." Everyone should prepare himself every day, because what he does every day is preparing for the future. When a person is fully prepared, the opportunity comes. If he is not prepared, no matter what opportunity he has, it is not his. No matter what you want to do, the most difficult thing is to take the first step. When you have the courage to take the first step, you will feel that there is nothing. Life is accumulated by a series of choices and decisions. Every seemingly insignificant action determines your future life. There is no need to worry about life. No one gives you opportunities, because opportunities depend on your own creation. More importantly, whether you are willing to make choices or not. Life itself is constantly making choices. Even if you are not willing to make choices, it is also a choice.

At the end of last year, I drove more than 3000 kilometers from Beijing to Guangzhou alone, thinking about a question: what is the difference between people? Why are there differences between people? I thought of a word: tear down the fence of thinking. Later, I saw the book "tearing down the wall of thinking" at the airport, and I felt very sad. I don't usually read the book of success studies. In fact, I don't think it is a Book of success studies. The author's thinking gave me a lot of inspiration. I have found that sometimes limits are limits themselves. If you think you can't, you really can't; If you think you can be stronger, you really become stronger. Have you ever thought that what really limits us is the invisible wall in our minds? Most of this wall comes from inner insecurity. I think the essence of a sense of security is not that you are really safe, but that you are not afraid of danger and dare to face difficulties. It's normal that everyone is chasing a sense of security, but many people have become slaves to a sense of security. What is the slave of security? Is afraid of change, keep the status quo, listen to others. The pursuit of a sense of security is a human instinct, but the sense of security must be obtained through the real strength of the heart. Security is giving, not taking. The more you fear, the more you take, the more insecurity you feel. It is precisely because many people are full of fear about the world and there are many difficulties in life that many of us unconsciously become victims. This is called "victim psychology". This fear and insecurity nourishes a victim mentality. When you encounter difficulties, you will always feel that the world is unfair and full of problems. The author attributes this model to the victim paradise. What is victim paradise? It's a place the victims would like to go most. Everyone gathered there, comforted each other, and then felt that life was really like this. The author summarizes several laws of victim paradise. The first law of victim paradise is to shirk responsibility and save face. All the problems are none of my business, not my fault. If a child doesn't learn well and his parents ask, the victim will say that it's not that I don't study hard, but that the teacher doesn't speak well; If a task is not completed, but is questioned by the boss, the victim will say, it is not my problem, it is the customer who is too picky. All virtues are his, and all mistakes belong to others and society. Of course, they haven't done much. The author mentions in the book that the victims do not need to achieve anything. They just need to keep talking and making up stories. But the problem is that the story was very true at first, then it began to exaggerate, and then he slowly believed that he lived in a world where the boss was harsh, the wife was not cute, and the teacher was not good. Many colleagues complain to me about how difficult they are. In fact, those so-called "difficulties" don't have to be compared with me at all. How difficult was it for us to start a business? At that time, I didn't even see my grandfather for the last time because I had to rush to work. After getting off the bus, I didn't dare to go back. I sat on the roadside and cried for a long time. However, when I say this, they have another trick. They will say that you are the boss, so you should. This is the problem of eggs and chickens. Am I the boss from the first day? This is another universal solution. In short, in the paradise of victims, a person's failure to do a good job is definitely not a matter of personal ability, but a problem with this thing. The second law of the victims' paradise goes one step further, which is to do evil with peace of mind. In the workplace, many people can feel at ease if they don't work hard every day. Why? Because he thought that the company was too bad, the boss was too strict and didn't understand us, so I was OK. According to a study in the United States, in Xinxin prison, few criminals will admit that they are bad people. They will defend what they have done. They all firmly believe that they should not be put in prison. Many evil doers have a perfect victim story. Once, when I was a department manager, I would tell people in the group that it was hard to follow me. If you feel uncomfortable, you will have another chance. But as long as you stay here for one day, you must be worthy of your own every day. Let alone the company, you must be worthy of yourself first. What is more precious than your own time? The so-called work for the company means working for yourself? If you can't figure it out and feel at ease, it's better to find a more comfortable environment. In fact, there is no environment in the world that will make you feel comfortable. We must become stronger and stronger to face the world bravely. The third law of the victims' paradise is: sharing sad stories. The victims have a common hobby, that is, being miserable. Everyone gathered together to share all kinds of sad stories, which evolved into a sad story club. This kind of tragic story meeting is not only in people's talk after dinner, but also in the whole society. For example, many TV stations have one or several programs about who is worse than who, and the ratings are quite high. Because people who have watched these programs will find comfort. It turns out that there are still such tragic things in the world. Everyone gets a lot of cheap happiness and nihilistic comfort from other people's victim stories. The author also gives many vivid examples in the book. In the victim paradise, if you are lovelorn, your female companions will gather together to drink with you, saying that men don't have a good thing; If you are scolded by your boss in the morning, you will soon be absorbed into the victimized team of the company. The main task of their lunch is to discuss how cruel their boss is (I don't know how many times they have been discussed); If a child accidentally falls to the ground and cries loudly, parents will not blame the child for not walking well, but will beat the floor and say that the floor is wrong, and the child laughs happily. In such a paradise, we actually immerse ourselves in it, get used to it, immerse ourselves and start sharing. Victim paradise helps "victims" easily get sympathy and help, just like a person who feels that someone may visit him after he is ill. They fell into an endless emotional black hole in this comfortable victim paradise. But what should we do? In fact, the core is to control yourself. First of all, we must admit a cruel reality - this society is not so fair, but it does not affect your happy work in the society. So how can we change from a victim to a controller? Let's start with an honest thought: no matter what the situation, you can take full responsibility. As long as you are willing, you can do better. You can even make a psychological assumption - if you go back to all the things you have experienced, and all the conditions do not change, only you change, can you make a better result? If the answer is yes, then you begin to enter the role of controller; If your answer is no, you think you have done well enough before. All the bad things are the problems of others. When we started our business, my colleagues and I often locked ourselves in the office to review each other, constantly reflecting on which things were not done well, which things could be better, and whether there would be a better choice. I used to think this was a very simple problem. Later, I communicated with many people and found that this problem was not easy. Because few people are willing to face the denied self, the process is very painful, and they need to constantly abandon their past self. All the things you have experienced are actually your wealth. This reminds me of the letter Liu Chuanzhi wrote to yangyuanqing. When you are a turkey, others will not think you are older than him. At this time, you can reflect, do I really do well enough? The world is so unfair, you just do better, others do not recognize. You must be an ostrich, which is much bigger than the chicken. At that time, all people will say hello. If you think the world is unfair, you may not be strong enough in essence. You have not done well enough. In fact, the difference between people is not as big as we imagined. It is not so much the difference in IQ as the difference in thinking. We cannot change the rules of the world and our past, but at least we can change our attitude towards the world, change our view of the past, and face the world again with a new mode of thinking. You can always control something if you like. Who has no pain, who has no entanglement? Unless your victimization pattern puts you deep in complaint and self pity. As long as you are willing to face your work and life again with a controlling attitude, you will feel happy.

Today is the first day of 2017. I believe many people will set their own goals for this year on this day. They hope that they can get better and better in the new year, and say goodbye to the difficulties and setbacks in 2016. You excitedly took out a big white paper and wrote a big 2017 plan with a black marker. You listed 123456 New year's resolutions vary in number and size. Yes, I'm just not the same this year. Whether you make a plan to lose weight successfully in the new year, or hope that you will be lucky enough to marry Bai Fumi and Gao Fushui this year, and go to the peak of your life. You can't do it. Yes, you can't do it. What? Seeing this, you may want to swear at me. What's the matter with you? You're crazy. The new year is a new year. Can I realize it without pouring cold water? Don't believe it. In fact, it's not that I don't believe you, but that this is a scientific theory. We always hope to have a new start in the new year, hope to become better, and secretly make up our minds that I must persist, I must work hard, I must strive. What about the happiness at the end of the year? It's all broken. At the beginning of the year, there were so many people signing up for fitness, but at the end of the year, there was no one in the gym. How ironic What? In fact, if you feel that you need to work hard to accomplish something at the beginning, you can't do it, let alone try. I have a girlfriend who weighs more than 160kg in 2015, but she doesn't eat much. She really eats one third of mine. But I only weigh 88kg. Sometimes when I'm full, I weigh 90kg. Both of us are about 163. Every time she sees me, she says, I must be as thin as you next month, blinding your eyes. Every time she finished, I smiled at her faint honey, because I knew she would not be thin at all. Let alone whether she could lose 90 kilograms at once, I admired her for losing one pound. But the fact is that I was right again. Why? Why didn't we realize any of the vows we secretly made at the beginning that we would die anyway? Is it true that we have poor self-control and weak willpower? People's psychological activities have their internal driving power, which is people's need. Need to be expressed in the form of desire and requirement. When people are aware of this need, this need will transform the internal motivation to promote people to engage in certain activities and move towards certain goals, that is, the motivation of people's psychological activities. What does this sentence mean? Take a simple example. For example, if you are hungry and you need to eat, then eating is your demand. In order to meet this demand, you will choose to cook or buy food to order takeout. When the food is bought back, you will have to eat it. This series is a driving force for you to act. On the other hand, do you think you need to persist in a series of behaviors from eating when you are hungry to cooking or buying food and then eating the meal? Or do you have to work hard to start chewing? You don't need it. You don't need it. You also think it's a very simple and easy natural event. So, why did you make a plan at the beginning of the year to slim down into a lightning bolt, save 100000 yuan a year, go to the gym to exercise, read 50 books a year, and take off the bill this year? All these plans failed one by one? Yes, because these so-called plans are not your real needs at all. They are not your just needs. Alas, I didn't finish reading 50 books last year. It seems that apart from a little guilt, there are no bad changes in my life. I am still the cute me. Oh, I didn't go to the gym last year. That's all.

When I was a child, there was a neighbor in the village where I lived, Aunt Liu, who was super capable. She ran a cotton shop. She got up at 5 a.m. to work in the shop and didn't go home until 10 p.m. Her hands are also clever and she looks good at everything. Every time my mother changes clothes and quilts from her, she comes back full of praise. At that time, there were about six or seven cotton shops in the town, and her family was the most popular. So smart and capable, you should have a good life, right? But no. Her family's house is in a dilapidated condition, the window glass is never complete, and the food and clothing are far less than those of ordinary people. She has always wanted to change a bigger shop, but she has never been able to do so. If I remember correctly, her family has always been in debt. It's strange that every time she saves money to pay off her debt, she will spend more money. Her family is stolen, her husband is in a car accident, her son makes trouble and breaks her classmates, and she goes to see a doctor for her serious illness People say it's evil every time she goes home. A fortune teller said that although she had good fortune, she was too fierce and easy to lose money, so she was destined to have a bad life. When I was young, I couldn't figure out why such a clever, hardworking, thrifty and frugal person had such a miserable life. 01 It was not until I came home on holidays this year that I heard my mother say that Aunt Liu's son was jailed for theft. She asked for help everywhere, but it didn't help. Many past events reappeared before I finally understood something. Her son was also very smart when he was a child, but he didn't like learning. He often skipped classes and hardly did his homework. He was a problem child in the eyes of teachers. The teacher asked Aunt Liu to go to school to communicate. She said there was a pile of work waiting in the store and she couldn't go. When the teacher visited her home, she was never at home. Once, the teacher waited until more than 10 p.m. and repeatedly told her to take good care of her children. She promised, but the next day the child was still asleep and left. The child didn't come back until he fell asleep. Her husband is out all year round. It is conceivable that a child who is out of the control of his parents will grow up at will and finally grow into what kind of child? In fact, there are traces of other so-called "money breaking" things in her family: The lock at home was broken, so she neglected to repair it, so she hired a thief; She is too tired to eat, so she has a bad stomach, eyes, waist and joints After thinking carefully, I found that Aunt Liu's hard life was not because of the fierce eight characters, but because she only focused on the present and ignored the long-term. The so-called people without foresight must have immediate worries. If a person is short-sighted, his life will not be very good. 02 Yesterday, I had dinner with my friends and talked about my dog. The friend asked suspiciously: you see, you are busy working all day during the day. After working for more than half an hour, I came home tired and hungry and had to take care of the dog. Aren't you tired? If you raise it, you have to bathe it, give her an injection, trim her hair, and buy dog food regularly. It's troublesome and expensive. How can you have such time and energy. "I feel it's hard for me to support myself. How can I have the time and energy to support it!" The friend laughed and laughed at himself. I smiled and said: I think it's a lack of patience. I also need to improve my sense of responsibility. So I want to have a dog. Since I have this dog, I can't turn a blind eye to it, so I have to take responsibility for it. He joked: "don't tell me. I really feel that raising a dog is the same as raising a child from the small matter of raising a dog. Now how do I treat it? It's likely that I will treat my future children with what attitude." The dog made a mess at home when he went out. The protagonist of this matter is likely to be his own child in the future. Do you throw the child out because of anger? Raising a dog improves my patience, cultivates my sense of responsibility, enriches my life and adds a temperature to my life. This matter may be of great help to me in the future. I'm preparing for the rain. I joked. In fact, life is also testing a person's ability to control energy and distribution. Some things are very important, but because he is not urgent, we can easily ignore it. It doesn't seem urgent to exercise and maintain your body. If you don't do it, you will eventually fall ill, painful, expensive and energy-consuming. It doesn't seem urgent to educate and train children. If you don't do it, you can't recover how much money you earn if your children don't follow the right path in the end. Fire prevention is easy, but fire fighting is difficult. If you only focus on fire fighting all day and don't spend time on fire prevention, it is estimated that you will always be anxious, anxious and unhappy in your life. Don't be held back by things that seem to have to be done at the moment but are not really useful. Make more time to do long-term and real events, read, exercise, plan the future, improve skills and educate children... In this way, life will be better and easier. 03 In fact, there are basically four things we face every day in life: Arrange these four things, life will be better and better. Urgent and important things, such as writing a graduation thesis, going to the hospital when you are seriously ill, and the leaders call you to talk about things, must be done at the first time, and we all understand. Things that are neither urgent nor important, such as listening to songs, chasing dramas and playing games, are the least important compared with other things. Naturally, we will put it last. Of course, whether you can do it or not is another matter. But what confuses us most is the order of "urgent not important" and "important not urgent". Urgent and unimportant matters, such as sudden invitations from friends, visits from strangers, work to be handled at hand, etc. Important but not urgent things, such as reading, exercising, improving skills, educating children, etc. In life, we tend to reverse the importance of the two. Most of the time, we are Aunt Liu. We put down the important and unimportant things and do the urgent and unimportant things. It seems reasonable to say: with so much work to do at hand, guests will come to pick up clothes in a moment. How can you have time to exercise and do homework with your children? But the fact is that if you are held up by urgent things and ignore important things, the important things will become particularly important and urgent sooner or later, so that you have to pay a much higher price to make up for it, and it may not be able to make up for it. I think this is the best interpretation of "people have no foresight, there must be immediate worries". There is a classic dialogue in the killer is not too cold: The little girl Mathilda looked at Leon with an unrequited and expectant look and asked, "is life always so hard, or is it just like childhood?" "It's always so hard," Lyon affirmed. Yes, whose circle of friends is not quiet, whose life is not a chicken feather. Since life is always like this, should we let life tease us and drift with the tide? I don't think so. If we live such a casual life, let it berth and cross without modification. Then we can only float like duckweed in the water without direction. How can a ship without a target find the post station it wants to stop? If there is no light in the heart, how can the darkness in life fade away? It is precisely because we have hopes for life that we will move towards that goal. Mr. Russell once said, "for people, an unprincipled life is not worth living." I feel that it is irresponsible to live by Podu. And I dare to let the leaves fall and the duckweed float away, because I'm afraid that in the future, I will look down on myself now.