1、 About self-cultivation

Everyone feels inferior. There are about two kinds of processes to form inferiority complex: first, in the process of comparing with adults in childhood, they have less profound experience than adults; Coupled with some environments that are not conducive to growth, the state of inferiority may solidify in the heart. Second, everyone knows his own things better than others. In his own vision, the mysterious side is unconsciously endowed with some equally mysterious power or aura. Inferiority comes from the aggressiveness of all creatures. This aggressive way of presentation is to compare with others at the psychological and behavioral levels from time to time and everywhere. Comparison is competition, which means attacking others intellectually and physically. The attack of the inferiors is mostly done in their hearts. In the face of a hypothetical competitor, the offensive automatic launch. If the opponent appears to be stronger than himself, the aggressiveness will soon turn towards him, and there will be the inner world of people with low self-esteem: self blame, depression, anxiety or fear. This complex and rapid process is usually invisible to inferiors and others. On the surface, inferiority complex is to look down on yourself. However, if a person never looks down on others after comparing himself with others, he will not look down on himself after comparison. In other words, without attacking others, there will be no result of inferior skills and inferiority after failure. Having a little inferiority complex is not a big problem. Excessive inferiority may have a negative impact on all aspects of life. The external manifestation of excessive inferiority complex can be completely opposite. Some people with low self-esteem make no secret of their low self-esteem and often show weakness and timidity in their words and deeds; Others with low self-esteem "deceive themselves", but their external manifestation is complacency, arrogance and self-confidence. Dealing with people with excessive inferiority complex is a dangerous thing. Because their great aggressiveness does not disappear, but turns to themselves. Once the opportunity comes, these aggressiveness will attack others in unexpected ways. We see the fact that some people feel inferior to the extent that they are often bullied, and when they can't bear to fight back, it is usually "a blockbuster" The performance of inward aggression, or inferiority complex, proves that this person's personality level has developed to a very high stage. Comparatively speaking, people who always release their original aggression are at a lower stage of psychological development. An extreme example is antisocial personality. They constantly attack others and society, cross the boundaries of the law, and are often punished by the law. A graduate student from a famous university told me how inferior he was. Specifically, I'm not satisfied with everything about myself, including appearance, figure, intelligence, performance, etc., and I also use a lot of sharp derogatory words for myself, which makes me feel heartache for him. Once, I said to him with emotion, "you really look down on others." At that time, he was very surprised. A few months later, he told me that he went back to carefully understand the meaning of this sentence and began to learn to look down on or appreciate others. The miraculous effect was that slowly he forgot his inferiority complex. Everyone is a unique creation of nature, so everyone doesn't have to feel inferior. This sentence is equivalent to saying: everyone doesn't have to look down on himself by looking down on others. Heaven is on earth, and it will not stint to give those who lift others the power to lift themselves.

Well, I'm a child who loves learning. However, please don't praise me or learn from me. For some people, love of learning is a good thing and should be praised. But for me, I found myself going a little too far in learning. Seriously speaking, it's called obsession. I spend a lot of time on study every day. I will constantly browse the web, read some good articles, see good books recommended by others, and I will immediately download e-books... I am like a thirsty sponge, constantly greedy to absorb all kinds of knowledge. On the surface, I learned knowledge, increased my knowledge and broadened my horizons. Maybe someone will say, that's good, isn't it? Yes, I think so. But I just felt that way. Because later, I found that things were bad, and problems came one after another. The first problem is that learning has changed from a way to a purpose. I found that when I saw some previously unknown new knowledge in the process of learning, people would be very excited, so learning gradually became an addiction. In other words, because I can enjoy the excitement of learning, I am addicted to learning itself. Of course, I didn't realize it was a problem at the beginning, but when I noticed it, I was like a person who was addicted to games, deeply trapped and couldn't extricate myself. The second problem is that I find myself very unreal. My mind is full of all kinds of things. Maybe I can talk with others, saying one thing at a time. But I also know in my heart that I can't do many things I say. At this time, I'm a little like Zhao Kuo on paper. I have only knowledge, and theory is divorced from practice. I don't like it very much. The third question, I seem a little confused. It seems that I like so much knowledge and want to learn it well. But I also know that I don't have so much time and energy. If you learn everything, the final result may be that you can't learn anything well, professionally or proficiently. I know I should have a choice, but I have to throw some away if I want to be "poisoned". Well, to be honest, it's a little difficult. So, I was confused and contradictory. Fourth, input is far more than output. I found that my mental expenditure was getting bigger and bigger, which made me very tired and inefficient. What's worse, some studies that took a lot of time may end up in nothing. After a period of time, they were either forgotten by me or lying there and turned into waste products. See here, do you still want to praise me? In fact, now there are a lot of people like me who study and have friends with such problems. It seems that everyone loves learning and regards learning as a good thing at the beginning. However, it is easy to be careless and finally turn yourself from a master of learning to a slave of learning. If you also have problems like me, then be careful. If you are not careful, then take a look at some learning methods of the following high-level learners and learn from them:)

The lock needs to be changed because of the move. The lock I use is still very advanced. It is a fingerprint lock given to me by a member of the Big Bear Club. The price of the most advanced version is about 6000. It was installed about a year ago. At that time, he just listened to my early training and thought it was good. He decided to give me a try. Generally speaking, expensive things are good. One big problem that fingerprint locks can solve is to bring keys. Another big problem that can be solved is that parents and other elders come to Beijing. As long as fingerprints are recorded, they can come and go freely. You don't need to be at home at any time or have more keys. Because it has been used for a year, I asked my master to help me change the battery in the lock this time. Then Jianzhong came to me for dinner and said that he still wanted to discuss the future development. In fact, the main problem is that his performance has not changed much in the past year, so he is considering developing in other fields. The two directions discussed with me are still very popular. One is P2P finance, and the other is o2o tourism, which is about to enter the Internet circle. It is still a high-grade and technical responsibility to drain. In the end, whether he agrees or not, I denied it. I said that in these fields, NIMA professionals are now doing a lot of work. If you are a layman and make a temporary transformation, you are really kidding. But he was still unwilling. After all, he had considered it for a long time, and then I gave him a suggestion. In fact, success is all around you. Why go to the distance to find that unrealistic hope? He was puzzled. Then I asked him why your product performance did not grow. He said, because this product is still very expensive, how can ordinary people spend thousands of yuan on door locks. When I say you think the other way around, it actually means that your current customers are actually very rich. Why don't you add them all as wechat friends? In fact, I mentioned similar suggestions last year, but at that time, according to his situation, he asked him to add other agents all over the country as wechat friends to make industry influence. Of course, he did not implement them. How to add friends is very simple. First, for newly installed users, you should not just let workers come to the door. You should come to the door in person and communicate with customers. Of course, it is very easy to add wechat, because the door lock is still very threshold to use. It needs a little training or help. Otherwise, you won't be able to master it when you are older. Second, can you come to replace the battery for the old installed user free of charge when the expiration date? It doesn't cost 20 yuan, but you can get a high consumption user. Based on his current performance and previous accumulation, he has made it easy for him to employ 12000 people a year. In fact, he is not a person, but a household. Then the rest is simple. When you go to o2o tourism, it is a very trivial thing, which requires very meticulous service. It is particularly difficult to standardize, and there are many problems. If you sell tourism products directly to your circle of friends, if they are cheap, do you think you can sell them? In fact, the answer is yes. Yuanwei, another friend of mine who is engaged in tourism, has made a great success. Now I go out to find him to handle my travel list, which is generally 20% or more cheaper than the market. If you sell, play with wooden bracelets, sell emeralds and jade, and do pipe fishing, I believe you can also sell. As long as this person has money, he must have some hobbies. If there are twoorthree users, even if twoorthree people buy products here every year, every time you earn threehundredandfivehundredandfivehundredandfivehundredandfivehundredandfivehundred, it is also a good profit. The main reason is that it does not affect your current affairs, nor does it need to fight an uncertain future in unfamiliar industries. His feedback is that his mind is wide open. People in traditional industries most hope that they will never contact again after the transaction, because once they come to you again, it must be after-sales, which is the most troublesome thing. (www.lz13.cn) from now on, the success of a transaction is actually the beginning of the experience. I remember that the flower band had a song called "beside happiness", in which there was a good lyrics. When I woke up, I suddenly found that I was always beside happiness. Many people want to wash their hands and start over from scratch after failing in one aspect. In fact, this idea is very speculative and dangerous, because giving up your years of accumulation is tantamount to starting over. And if you start looking for opportunities around what you used to be good at, the chances of success are often greater. For example, the little girl who consulted me about selling meat buns two days ago finally gave up the idea of selling persimmons and chose to sell marinated meat at the same time. The feedback was also very good. Therefore, we are not without resources and opportunities for success, but have been constrained by previous experience for too long. When you change your perspective and mode of thinking, in fact, you are always beside success and turn a blind eye.

A is the most hardworking intern I have ever taught, but apart from hard work, I can't think of any other commendatory words for the time being. She came early and left late every day. She remembered in her notebook that she never complained about anything. However, she didn't take out anything that surprised me. Instead, I had to gradually narrow down her scope of work because she poked a big basket several times. Whenever she encountered a problem, her response was always: I didn't think it was like this. B is her middle-aged version. She was in her thirties. She became a group leader by changing jobs frequently. Almost all her colleagues complained about her poor specialty. Even so, the boss still hesitated to let her become a full-time employee: after all, she worked so hard Chinese people have always respected hard work, so there are such allusions as hanging a beam to stab the stock, chiseling a wall to borrow light, and showing off the snow, as well as such golden sentences as "there is a path for the book mountain, diligence makes up for the clumsy", "clumsy birds fly first" and "love to fight will win". It seems that as long as you work hard, you will be able to succeed. Even if it is not successful, others must also have a respect. After all, they have tried their best, which is beyond reproach. So there is a group of people who work hard. They sleep the least when they go to school and go to work the last. They can never finish the work on their desk. They are always diligent and hardworking, but their grades are no more average. You will find that the so-called effort is just inefficient. It takes an hour to complete what others can do in five minutes. It artificially lengthens your life. In short, it is not distracted. Such efforts are nothing more than tactical diligence to cover up strategic laziness. They are neither willing to use their brains and make good plans before "efforts", nor willing to make a summary and learn lessons after "efforts" fail. They have spirit of the Sisyphus, are not afraid of the failure, and do not have a strong desire for success. They must smash their heads against south wall to prove that they are really working hard. Effort is certainly a good thing, but many people are insulting the word with their own practical actions. Some universal values are easy to teach children bad. In our traditional education, too many people are taught to sell coolies and too few are taught to use their brains. Pusongling said that the painstaking people should bear the burden of heaven. They can swallow Wu for 3000 Vietnamese. But if Gou Jian only relies on hard work, what else can Xi Shi do? In this world, most people are lazy, but some people show in action, some people show in thinking. The first is visible laziness, but the second has become hard work in people's eyes. In contrast, I think the first kind of people have a better chance of success. Sometimes a person is lazy in action. If he doesn't want to starve to death, he will at least use his brain in advance to find the best shortcut for himself. It is the second kind of people. They have worked hard all their lives, and the last label is just hard. Did Edison work hard enough? It took thousands of experiments to invent the light bulb. However, I dare say that if he tried the same material every time, he would be more than 10000 times diligent and 100 million times useless. Then he succeeded. They said he was a genius. Edison also had a golden saying that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. This sentence has been regarded as a classic by countless people, but it is said that this sentence actually has the second half of the sentence that was deleted for political reasons: but the 1% talent is the most important, even more important than the 99% sweat. Do you think the Muse will patronize a lazy person at will? Only when a person works very hard and is good at thinking and summarizing in his efforts can he burst out inspiration frequently. Those winners who do things effortlessly in your eyes, they work a thousand times, tenthousand times harder than you. For most people, what you think you are doing is hard work. In fact, it is just physical strength. Why do people give the crown of "diligence" to bees instead of dung beetles? It is not that the latter pays less physical strength, but that the crystallization of the former is honey. If you can't create value, your efforts are worthless.

The wolf is the king of the grassland, the eagle is the overlord of the sky, and the fox is very intelligent. In this world of the law of the jungle, only with Fox intelligence, Wolf Road and Eagle strategy can we become a real strong man! Wolf way:

one One of my students is busy with study, group study and various kinds of textual research. She gets up at 6:30 every morning and goes out to study in the library at 7:00. Unless there is a group study work, she returns to the dormitory at 10:00 every day, which is almost unchanged. She never mind that we know his goal, nor that others see his efforts. She often tells me that she wants to be a teacher and have a teacher qualification certificate in the future, so now she has to work hard Seeing her like this, I often think of my writing career in recent years. I started the wechat official account quite early. It was opened in 14 years. The purpose of my opening was not to pursue the trend, but really wanted to get rid of the old habit of procrastination, only input but not output. However, after several years of running like this, the number of articles I published on my official account was so small that I didn't even write one for a month. This winter holiday, I learned from the bitter experience and thought that it was necessary to change this state, so I told everyone in my short book that I would keep working harder every day. When I sit in front of the computer for an hour or two and can't type a word, how I want to give up, but there will always be a voice telling me, do you still remember your commitment to everyone? I know that the quality of my writing is not good. There are more or less some deficiencies in each article, and even some wrong words. I can't manage so much. In addition to working and studying every day, I can only spend 2-3 hours writing. In these 2-3 hours, I must not only conceive, but also produce an article. This is my promise to others. This is how I have persevered in the past ten days. Many students said to me, brother Fei, you have a lot of perseverance. I know what perseverance I am. I just die for face. Who told me to promise you, promise my goal, promise my efforts. two Last year, I dealt with a dormitory conflict in my class. One of my classmates asked him to change his dormitory or that other student should move out. I don't understand. As far as I know, that classmate is very kind. Why did he make such a fuss? I asked her why, and she told me that I particularly hated her way of pretending not to study hard every day. When I saw other people studying, I said this and that again. People had to ask me ten times where they went. They were always worried that others would study. Do you think I could stay with her? This is the first time I have encountered such a contradiction in the dormitory. Many students are particularly afraid that others know that they are working hard. Therefore, they have been hiding their efforts and acting like a fool all day. He just wants to let others know that his mind is not on learning. If he focuses on learning, learning will be good. In fact, this kind of person is afraid that he will not get any return for his efforts. Therefore, he is willing to become a "learning bitch" targeted by the public, and does not want anyone to know his goal and his efforts. You have carefully reviewed the fourth year exam, but you always tell others that I can't pass this time because I haven't reviewed at all. People are afraid that others know they are working hard, so you can't stick to anything. You can only live worse. three A classmate opened a wechat public account. She asked me how to operate it. She said, teacher, my wechat official account is to share some of my reading experiences. I plan to write one article every week. This amount is not heavy. I think I can do it. I smiled and asked her, how many fans do you have in wechat now? There are only five now, she told me. I seriously told her that if so, I don't think you need to waste time on wechat, because you can't persist at all. Why? She wondered why I was so sure to tell her. Because persistence without any feedback is poisonous chicken soup. Whenever I hear someone tell me that you must persist, as long as you persist a little longer than others, your opponents will be a lot less. I have a strong immunity to this kind of chicken soup, not because I don't believe in persistence, but because I believe that behind any persistence, a strong feedback system is needed. No one can do anything without any feedback. Therefore, if anyone wants to persist in doing something, he or she should not work behind closed doors, but share your knowledge and achievements with others with an open mind. In the process of sharing, you get effective feedback, which will further stimulate you to deepen and deepen. four A classmate, who is good at learning, joined a reading community. She began to swear to me that as long as I read one book a week, I can read at least 50 books a year. After many months, I asked her if she still insisted? She has been afraid to answer my question. How many of us are so busy every day that we take part in various activities, training classes and examinations for various certificates. In the end, we don't find out what we can learn, and the certificates we get seem to be of little help to us. Today is an age of knowledge anxiety. We see that others insist on reading in a community. If I don't do so, I will fall behind others. So I join in. See a writing training class, attend, PS, attend Gradually, we find that after learning so much knowledge, we still do not have high competitiveness in society? We often say that "choice is more important than effort" is that there are too many choices available today. Every student can freely choose his own future development direction. However, if you want to try every direction and use your limited life to make unlimited choices, your life may be a trial. Living naturally is bitter and useless. Such a person who has no direction can't insist. I hope that when you study any field, what you can tell me is that the reason why I choose to study this knowledge is because my knowledge is related to my life goals, not because I am interested in it. If a person's goal is not clear, if he simply estimates how strong his perseverance is and how self-conscious he is in doing things, the vast majority of people will not be able to adhere to learning, because learning itself is a difficult process, or even "anti human".

All self-made millionaires have their reasons for success. One of the reasons for their transformation from ordinary people to successful people with seven figure wealth is their "rich habits". Thomas C. Corley spent five years studying the living habits of 177 millionaires and finally found that their success had many similarities. Here are some of the "rich habits" of millionaires you can cultivate from today: